Awwww.
U want to stand under my….

…I WON’T even finish lol

FIRED… and FUCKED.

This gentleman was fired from my job today.

I know this is not my usual but I thought I would flip it today….
A little personal….

I don’t know why it effected me the way it did.
It wasn’t me but it was someone else.
Maybe it let me know that our jobs are not guaranteed.
Or, it let me know that people are cruel and heartless….

Either way it is still FUCKED UP…

Continue reading “FIRED… and FUCKED.” →

I have been running on a hamster wheel for a number of years now. My insecurities were what was fueling me and kept me going and going; just like The Energizer Bunny on a sugar rush while sipping on a Red Bull. When I thought I was okay, I’d, some how and some way, get back on and start the same fuckin’ routine; the same fuckin’ story.

I would be out of breath and out of my mind. I would look at “a Devin Thomas” and say “He wouldn’t want my ass.” I mean, I’m not walking around with a dump truck on my back. I had this impression you needed an insta-giganta ass or be Thugnificent to entice all the boys. I would comment to Star Fox that he must be meeting “The Devin Thomas” type niggas cause of his bottom….. And funny enough, he was secretly admiring my shape, style, and swagg.

That is why I tell you that you never know who is looking at you.

When I started to look at myself and accept myself, my flaws, and my skin… I started to slow down my running. I also threw out that mental trap that being with a man would complete me. I was looking for someone to show me the love that I wasn’t giving myself. And truthfully, if “a Devin Thomas” didn’t want me then a) that is his loss and b) I probably wouldn’t want to deal with his ass anyway.

This Fox right hurrrrrr… is a work in progress and guess what? I may relapse and get back on the wheel for another spin. But, I like being where I am now. I am starting to feel comfortable in my own skin and open to what’s important: loving myself 200% with no regrets and no bullshit.

So, to all my Foxes, I say to you: let go and let love. You cannot move forth towards your blessing, holding onto the past or self esteem issues. Also, you cannot find any man to love you if you do not love yourself. Some of the dudes who are pimpin these niggas are not the best lookers but, they accepted themselves and learned some game. I know some bottoms who have these TOPS running around here all mentally fucked up. Plus, there are a ton of bottoms (or TOPS, if you are a TOP reading) competing to take your spot… So why would you let them? You want to be the rule and not the exception.

I feel great and from here on out, anything I want I will not let insecurity stop me. Whose with me?!

Life feels better when you are off the hamster wheel.

Brought 2 U by the Foxberry

Rejection From The Straight Boy

I think I am a good person.

Well, scratch that “think”. I know I am a good person. Yet, you can think you are the best man in the entire world and when one person thinks not, you are ready to question your entire being. Why is that? Do we really need validation from everyone to prove we are good, sexy, and everything positive?

So, at work, one of the girls who has a crush on me decided she wanted to add me to a very popular social site. She forwarded all the other co workers who are on the same site to me, including this sexy ass dude who works in our department.

Foxes – he is sexy. Light skinned, tall, muscular, nice hair, did I mention muscular – all around “Wolf” material. Granted, he is straight until proven gay/bi but I wanted to get to know him on a friend like level, even if he is 100% straight. I like to know a lot of various contacts. Straight, gay, bi – whatever. I am down for friends/associates.

I did notice however that when we would be in contact with each other, he would be very distant from me. He would be quiet and not really as open as my other co workers. He would give slight head nods and not look me in my eyes. First sign.

So when I got the forward and saw his name, I instantly added him. No question. All the females added me, almost that day. He didn’t. As days went on, no “accept request” was sent to my email and I got the hint he wasn’t interested in pursuing a friendship with me.

It hurt a little. I mean, I think I am a damn good friend and have had straight boys be cool with me. I started to question who I was, my masculinity, and even my aura. It fucked with my mind for a while. It didn’t help that when I did see him on the job, he became even more distant…. In those tight muscule hugging shirts he wore.

Sorry…. Back on topic….

Anyway, I had to ask myself what were the reasons he didn’t add me. That’s just it: I don’t know. I have a totally different swagger than him so maybe he caught that and decided to not pursue anything. He is definitely not a “pretty” type of dude. He is typical average good looking guy.

Either way, we will NOT be cool.

I did want to sample the meat though. He may have had a small penis or a bad stroke – plus I think he is fucking one of the females at work and I have a sneaky suspicion it is our boss.

Life will go on and I learned my lesson.: never question who you are when rejected. This will all be a memory pretty soon. Move on to the next one who will accept.

Later Foxes

Brought 2 u on the Foxberry