i’m so annoyed at this story.

when chappell roan first started,
i was really into her first album.
it is a fuckin’ masterpiece.

pink pony club.
coffee.
casual.
my kink is karma.
“good luck, babe” is definitely on my life soundtrack.

i respected her story too about being overlooked,
dropped,
then coming back like:

“watch this.”

i love a good underdog moment.
somewhere along the way tho,
something started being sus with her.
i couldn’t figure it out first,
but she started to feel…
off.

the interviews
the tension with reporters
the drag makeup felt more like geisha makeup
the “don’t look at me for politics” after speaking on politics
the alleged uncle who is a republican in missouri

it started to feel less underdog and more “karen”.
i started wondering why wasn’t she more humble after being poor and overlooked.
well after her ( x recent antics ),
i guess the public is starting to get sick of her.
it turns out that chappell might actually be wealthy AF…

i love some of these christian people.
they can be so stupid.
it’s cute.

i don’t know about ya’ll but i don’t care about christian folks and some of their thoughts.
it is always comes from a place of sitting on a high horse,
while ONLY looking down on gay folks.

thieves?
whatever.
PDFs in the family?
cheeks turned.
LGBTQ?
going to hell sitting in a gasoline soaked chair.

…oh and mental illness.
some of them think you can “pray the depression away“.
this is why a majority of them are nuts.
so one of the acting jackals from tyler perry’s “beauty in black”,
decided to use his IG live to school us on who is going to hell or not,
which is a whole contradiction to me…

my friend said to me over the weekend:

“life is really testing you right now.
you got a big blessing on the way.”

i need blessing with an s.
it felt good to hear but when you’re in it,
it can feel condescending AF.
last week was utter chaos.

a major blowup at the beginning of the week.
a heavy walking on eggshells the middle of the week.
a 10-person sleepover at the end of the week.
a weekend guest over the weekend.
a no real space to breathe all around.

i had an anxiety attack on friday when i saw 10 people trying to squeeze in here,
and then add on top of that…

i learned the hard way when everything came to ahead.

some people internalize
they’re ultra sensitive
they build stories in silence and then move like they’re facts

under stress,
it can get chaotic.
while i have done the same in past situations,
i found help so i could understand my crazy.
monday and tuesday were an absolute mess.
we had our first shared space fight,
which revealed a lot about each other.

i move on structure and clear communication
they move on impulses and emotions

it reminded me of my grandmother and it triggered me heavy.
after it blew up,
we made up,
but the worst thing happened the next day…

stress can look like chaos happening all at once.
it looks like someone handing you their overwhelm and calling it a conversation.
one minute you’re talking about buying trash bags that ran out,
next minute you’re defending your entire existence in a shared space.
i’ve learned something tonight…

one of my biggest regrets is not seeing “sinners” when it was in theaters.
i missed an important cultural moment due to finances.
i feel the same about not seeing “weapons” either.
“sinners” was sooooooooooooooo good:

i think i’ve seen that movie over 20 times now.

…and every single time i watched it,
i saw or heard something new even if it was minor.
that being fonted…