the fear of black males

i had to been about 9.
around that age,
one of my best friends was a black cub i met at church.
we were like legit best friends.
even though i was different than his other friends,
he appreciated me for me.
i remember his crib was the spot everyone would go to.
all the parties happened at this particular crib.
i would sleep over there regularly in the summer.
one evening,
his cousins came over and ended up sleeping over.
one of his cousins was cool and a damn pro at “street fighter“.
i noticed he would rub my head periodically.
it was weird,
but most straights are weird tho.
since there was no room in my best friend’s bedroom,
i had to sleep in the living room with best friend.
he was on the couch; i was on the floor.
the next morning,
i woke up and he was already gone.
i figured everyone had resumed playing “street fighter”.
it was like slow motion walking to that bedroom.
i’ll never forget it what i heard…

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