just like the title says.
“now what?”
so i was reading the comments from ( x yesterday’s entry ).
thank you everyone who shared something personal.
i have an opinion about all of this.
it may make some people upset
but at end of the day,
this is my opinion.
ready for it?…
i feel like…
coming out is a personal decision.
you should not be making a huge decision such a suicide if you were outed.
hell did you know if you kill yourself,
your family don’t get your life ins.
that’s a sidebar.
plus you you ain’t let me see how that dick hang.
lol jk.
seriously everyone who is out wants to make it seem like:
“omg i came out and it was like,
the flowers bloomed and the sung to me in the morning.
ugh it was gorg…”
…and that maybe true,
but thats where i’m confused.
why all this closet shaming?
you were once where that other person was not to long ago.
personally,
and this is no disrespect,
but its seems to me like people come out for other people these days.
“i get to tell random people i’m gay.
yay!”
…does that get you a job?
are you putting that on your resume?
did it get you a man?
real friends you can trust?
the way how i see it…
there are still people with low self esteem/worth in and out the closet.
to me it has nothing to do with coming out,
it has everything to do with the person.
and don’t even look at these masculine men coming out in droves.
they’re celebrities.
everything is done for a reason.
some of these men are super cornballs,
careers are over,
or they want to go and sew their wild gay oats since they did it in coochie cavern.
lets not even mention how fast they run to snow whatever or tropical exxoticals.
these days,
i don’t give a fuck anymore.
i live my best discreet life.
i don’t have my parents anymore,
i lost my job,
and lost my best friend within a year.
i use to be an open book to people.
i learned whether you are in or out,
people are still going to stupid and life still hands you lemons.
if someone asks me if I’m gay,
i may or may not tell em.
its really none of your fuckin business who i’m fuckin.
plain and simple.
if you live out the closet then live your best life.
if you discreet, do the same.
the issue with people in the closet is their pride.
or is it arrogance?
again OTHER PEOPLE need to see them with a vixen or a “straight” persona.
just a bunch of props to appease people.
how about you appease yourself?
do what makes you happy?
live for you?
middle finger to those who may disagree or judge?
how about that person id fall in love with?
become friends with?
being a “man” isn’t about how masculine or feminine you are,
who you’re fuckin,
how low you sag your jeans,
or what pictures you put up on instagram.
its about making quality decisions,
sticking to them,
and saying “i know who i am”.
like it or leave it.
what’s your decision?
…then there are the bisexuals.
who truly like both and get lost in the shuffle of “down low”.
thats a whole nother topic.
Preach brotha
I like how you put knowing yourself first. It amazes me how many gays don’t know who they are but can tell me how I need to be. This is why they look to these female singers for self worth.
I agree 100%. Gays always want to tell someone how being out the closet will be good for their lives.
Thank you.It’s not as simple for me as “do what I want and forget what they say/think.”I’m very close to my family and they’re very religious.I just can’t deal with telling them I’m gay.That’s why I said I’d rather die than do that.When I was a younger gay, I was so afraid because watching TV I always assumed you had to come out at some point in life.I thought it was a rule written in Gay Laws or something.Then I started talking to this man who is 42 and he said he’s still in the closet and plans to stay that way for a very long time.
I’m fine with my family assuming or wondering but sitting down and telling them… no.I can’t do it.I plan to move far away from them anyway.I’m not moving because of them, I’m moving because I can’t deal with the snowy Winter season anymore.I’m too old to be shoveling snow, my back feels like it’s about to give out while my nose is running.I feel like I’m a sloppy 5 year old turning 75.
Not to be offensive or anything but if I wanted to, I could have sex with a woman easy.It’s not really that hard.I could pretend that I’m a pussy hound and fuck this and that chick, but that’s not my personality.Remember, I’m an introvert.I’m not bi either.I could settle down into a false marriage and have a wife, kids and the white picket fence house but I couldn’t do that to myself nor to an innocent woman.How awful of a person would I be to live a lie like that and string some woman along, lying to her everyday.I wouldn’t be down with an open relationship either.When I’m committed to you then it’s me and you, no one else.
However, it’s okay if you didn’t know/accept you were gay before/during your marriage.I don’t wanna come off as harsh to other readers who might be going through that.I was just watching a man on TV who knew he was gay at 15 but somehow buried the thoughts and forgot about them until they resurfaced later after he had married a woman.
Thing is, I’d have a better chance of finding a lady to settle down with than a dude.I’m not bi though.
I’m fine with my family assuming or wondering but sitting down and telling them… no.I can’t do it-Zen Buddah you are my good friend in my head, lol, I enjoy reading your perspective because we think about things the same way, on many things. You dont wanna tell, and trust me they dont want to know, its the unwritten rule in every black family, and I am assuming your black, but hey if your not, that is a rule in black america, we want ask and please do not tell us. It can be tricky at times but Im from the school of they probably know, but they dont want you to feel uncomfortable and they are uncomfortable talking about it. You would definitely have to do it one on one with certain family members you think you could trust, though honestly speaking, I havent even done that. I found out I have a couple of gay cousins who are younger but we really dont even talk about it.