Hey,
I didn’t say it.
Someone sent me a TIP with this article and I can only imagine how much discussion it will produce…
So according to Gawker,
we should all never get fat because we will pretty much die a lonely and tormenting death.
One will only imagine dying because of suffocating on moth balls and choking on cat hair.
Here is little something from the article:
There is only one thing that keeps gay men in shape: fear. Yes, every gay—at least those of the stereotypical abdominal-obsessed physique that populates Fire Island and Palm Springs—is brought about because gay men are afraid that they will be alone for the rest of their lives. If a gay man is not “serving body” while competing to find a trick or boyfriend in one of the more muscle-bound climates of gay culture, he will be sorely shut out. That is why gay men don’t get fat, because if they don’t have pecs, guns, and glutes, they’re going home alone.
Gay men, unlike their straight counterparts, don’t have the luxury to stay in “fighting shape” just long enough to find a partner before letting their bodies fall to shit afterwords. No, gay men have to get buff, get married, and stay buff. Why? Because of three-ways, obviously. I’m going to let you in on a little secret: There are countless committed gay couples out there who like to either play on the side or invite guest stars into their beds. And you’re not going to get any A-list guest stars if you’re giving D-list torso with a four-star gut. Yes, gay men go to the gym to stay competitive, but since the man-eating marathon doesn’t end after marriage, they just keep on competing and competing until death do they part.
The funny thing about the gay competition is that, because men (especially of the gay variety) are so visually stimulated, the only piece on the chess board that matters is having that traditional lean body. If straight men are lacking in some area, they usually make up for it by becoming rich or powerful, things that some women (see: Real Housewives of Orange County) find just as attractive as a washboard stomach dusted with natural body hair. But for gay men, only body will do. If a gay guy is a little short, his solution is to go to the gym. Got a shitty job? Go to the gym. Busted in the face? No biggie! Head to the gym and no one will look above your neck. Totally shy and doesn’t socialize well? Gym, baby, gym! A good body is the only currency in this game.
What also makes this unique for gay men is one of the other strange quirks of homosexuality. Gay men are attracted to, essentially, themselves. No straight man wants to look like a woman (and certainly not the reverse) but gay men find what they are physically attracted to and often remake their bodies in the image of their ideal mate. Since society tells us to want muscle-bound athletes, that’s what gays want, and that’s what they make themselves look like in the pursuit of their ideal. If you want to bed muscles you have to have muscles, if you want to land a twink, you better be a twink (or at least some other type that is easily cast in any gay porn movie).
That is so sad….
…and suicidal.
But, is it the truth?
Should we never allow ourselves to gain a little weight to be accepted?
And why does it seem like that only happens in the vanilla world?
I am slim/toned,
but even in my life,
I wondered if my body size was deemed “acceptable“?
I know so many people who obsess over my body.
I have had Vixens straight up tell me they wanted to be my size.
I have had Foxes who were chubby see me and want to go on a diet plan.
Yet, I want to be a little thicker with some bigger cheeks.
#truthfullyspeaking.
Hell, there are fatter Foxes than me pulling some straight up fine Wolves.
I don’t get it.
It mostly seems like blacks are more concerned with material possessions.
Social media shows us images of the perfect sexually fulfilling blow up dolls.
But is this really all just “who will get better dick?“?
Is your body size really an issue?
And why is it Wolves can look like shit,
yet we need to built to perfection?
I started to wonder…
Should we watch our weight if we plan to get a date?
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You just illustrated exactly what me and Vain are trying to tell you.
We weren’t implying you had to have muscles. Some men prefer slim dudes, muscle heads, track bodies, thick dudes (meaning the stomach is flat and the lower region is thicker). Some men get their ideal bodies by jogging, hitting the gym, or genetics work in their favor.
For dudes who have their shit together, getting that body can be the last piece to them.
I mean we have dudes who take it to the extreme and make a good body the end all be all, but I don’t think we have those types on here. Some dudes work out a lot and want their dude to be the same.
All I’m saying is you’re more likely to be open and receptive to a nice body you’re attracted to approaching you and getting them to let you show them they have what you’re looking than the alternative.
^very true,
But now I want to know what are you doing with your life and how can we learn from each other…
… Then he skeets on my face.
I never asked those questions before until I hit rock bottom.
I feel people need to start looking at those things also.
Well that’s up to him from there, a nice body won’t provide an answer for those questions, but it will get attention and some of that attention could come from someone who may be the one.
I used to wonder why guys saw weight as some terminal disease though? Like it is something that can be changed with time if you happen to find someone with everything you’re looking for minus the body.
This dude broke it down for me and said “A nigga like me isn’t looking for a makeover project. My dude needs to already have all his shit together”.
I respect his answer.
Its about getting your foot in the door. Most of us can barely do that. Sure, a nice body does not guarantee you a long term relationship but it definitely increases your prospects of who you can potentially date and WHO WILL POTENTIALLY DATE Y-O-U. Not to mention how a nice body can make up for other flaws you may have. Men are superficial. Maybe not as much when it comes who who they will sleep with but even then there are plenty who only entertain a certain height/weight proportion. You can love and accept yourself to death but that does not make you immune to the culture and ideals of the overall community. Especially when it comes to finding a mate. Unless, of course, you date within the niche brackets i.e. bears, and chubby chaser community,
^and sadly,
most of these people with nice bodies are broke and holding onto their bodies as a crutch to meet others.
How many of these nicely dressed and nicely shape brothas have good reputations in the community?
I read that article and took that most gay men are superficial.
I never once thought my life was doomed.
Maybe because I am in a different frame of mind.
Even as a slim Fox,
I have slept with those men and it lead to nothing.
It was just sex.
They never improved the quality of my life.
They were good looking boys off a chat site.
I walked outside yesterday and I had a couple muscular Wolves stare me down.
I’m sure I could have fucked them,
But I’m tired of being fucked and it leading to nowhere.
Which is how most of these situations lead.
So let me ask you this and I hope you’ll be completely honest.
Would you date a man that had all the qualities you were looking for, except he was 300lbs?
^nope.
You have to have the qualities I am looking for and be psychically appealing to me.
You could be slim,
Built,
Or chubby but something about you has to make me hard.
300 lbs means you are sloppy.
I’ve had big boys that wanted me.
They were sloppy.
Plus, broke as hell.
Sloppy and broke means a “no” for me.
^im in a different place in my life.
A nice body is great,
And I love that,
But if you have no goals and no money…
I’m not interested.
I’m having a problem not being able to live the life I want after losing my job.
I could have been online having every kind of fine dude come through my apartment to beat and skeet on my face,
But I can’t enjoy that being broke.
That isn’t attractive to me.
So if you are good looking and broke…
I’m not interested because you can’t teach me anything.
I put up bodies of men I want to FUCK.
We want to FUCK these Wolves, Hybrids, or Foxes.
That picture doesn’t tell you he is broke as a joke and sleeping on someone’s couch.
It doesn’t tell you he could be insecure as hell and only feels confident by how many likes or comments he gets.
It also doesn’t tell you that he could be filled with HIV or some other STD.
Again,
the real issue is we are looking at a shell of someone who could be absolutely terrible.
But, we don’t care as long as he has abs and pecs.
That’s fine because I like that shit but it doesn’t mean he is good for me.
Ok so everyone check this…
yes,
everyone in the Concrete Forest are now gym bunnies.
Pumpin’ iron and doing 1,000 sit ups a night.
But, how many of them are actually in successful long term relationships?
How many of them are now pieces of well sculpted meat in online chat sites and gay clubs?
How many of them are always complaining they are alone and people only want them for their body?
How many of them are only worth “their body”?
How many of them are lazy and their only claim to fame is working out?
You can be as hard pressed about your body if you want to,
but that won’t excuse the fact you get ran through or running through to nowhere.
Right.
I think the idea is a nice body at least puts you in the game, whether it’s genetics or through working out.
There are select few men that are actually date-able. They have a level head and their shit together, but no one is going to look past a fatty.
Tajan and myself (to some extinct) have been on ends of the spectrum so it’s coming from experience. You may not believe it, but your body may be on the more desirable, or at least more acceptable side of things.
Your body may not necessarily get you who you want, but it does get you attention and it will work in your favor when anyone decides if they want to pursue anything with you.
I meant “extent”. LMAO!
but…
they are a majority who are single.
it puts you in the game,
you get attention,
get some dick/ass,
and then someone gets bored…
and someone with a fatter ass (who may not even have a good body) gets smashed.
Men are visual… but in this new generation of easier sex,
we are also bigger whores too.
Man, I just want my dude to have a decent body. He doesn’t have to have a six pack, but I don’t want him to have a beer belly either. As gay men we have insecurities anyway, so it’s expected for us to really care about the way we look and what other people may think.
“Gay men are attracted to, essentially, themselves.” THIS needs to put up in bright flashing lights. I realized this is especially true amongst certain demographics i.e. Muscle bound gym heads, trade of all trades, and slim fit, skinny jeans and tank top types. They only date each other. We tend to down play this type of thing and throw out cliches about loving the individual’s personality and confidence and so on and so forth. That’s cute, however it doesn’t really match people’s dating habits. We prefer the idealized body in our heads but will compromise when the attainment of it isn’t so easy.
I do personally believe we work out and try to stay within a certain size in order please the high standards of other men. Blah blah blah is what i hear whenever people boast about working out an eating right to stay “healthy.” Everyone stands naked in the mirror and critiques themselves and that has nothing to do with “healthy” living. Plus, its a lot easier to feel good about and love and accept yourself when you look like what is “acceptable” and “love-able.” We tend to put up with worse behavior or lack of primary qualities we look for in a person when they are attractive enough. Bad attitudes, no car/job/place of their own, cheating, etc get a slide when he looks good.
I absolutely agree! I wish more people would just realize what the deal is and speak it rather than masking it.
But speaking it might place them in a negative light. Shallow. Superficial. Shady. S-words that could make them feel bad about themselves. However, what people say, what people do, and people say they do are all completely different things.
How many people are honest enough to say that that diet and exercise so men will like them? Or that they do so to feel good about themselves because their body image in connected to their self-worth? Men take pictures of themselves in gym mirrors all sweaty and tired to show other men that they’re physically fit. That they have the right to turn you down because they dont like your body because they put in effort to improve theirs.
Vain, you have no idea how much respect I have for you. Seriously.
I’m just being honest. That’s all.
This article is so spot on for many Gay men no matter what the race. If you are fat in this lifestyle, you can pretty much hang it up or else get ready to get your checkbook out because you are going to be paying for a fine man services in some form or fashion. Vixen have us beat on this because they will talk to any dude as long as he treats them good. Gay men, not so much. I cant lie, Im not looking at your great personality or heart when I see you out somewhere, especially if you are big, out of shape etc.
As someone who has transformed and now have a different league of men to choose from. I can honestly tell you that these brothers with the fine bodies and cute faces are not what they seemed, they have so many issues. Many times, and I admit I am guilty, we think attractive people dont have any issues and we give them a pass especially concerning their sometimes bad behavior and f%ck*d up attitudes.
I see so many dudes now who just wanna sleep with you because you are the new hot thing that they havent got around too. Of course not so long ago, I was the old “not so hot” thing that they didnt pay any attention too, when I was little heavier and not so cut. I see so many boys who use their bodies to get whatever they want in this lifestyle and they usually are playing some sad sucker who is overweight or older. You would be wise to run from the hot boys you see out. Trust me they have many after them. Hell I cant believe how many dudes Im talking to at any one time now, and none of them want to get to know me outside of how big my jank is and what is my position in bed.
Im at the point that you dont have to be perfect, just hit the gym every once is in a while and put down that extra peice of pie. I guess all of these fine boys dont realize that they will one day age and its not going be nice when you dont have nothing inside to sustain you but your body.
This is somewhat true…. Im built, a lil buff in some areas (Genetics) but i would and have dated a chubby wolf… to me its not about your size it just how you carry yourself, my nigga had swagg and thats what i liked about him…he was confident in his self…. i feel thats all that matters, like what the pic above says “SOMEWHERE SOMEONE IS LOOKING FOR EXACTLY WHAT YOU HAVE TO OFFER”
I gain twenty pounds and have never been so confident in my body. I work out to stay healthy but I like a little meat on my bones and so does the boys! #CountryDonk
Well I’m very tall and slim and I have to agree with the thought that men are attracted to copies of themselves. I’ve been told COUNTLESS times that I’m attractive, but I’d be killing the game if I had a little more weight on me. WTH?!?!?!? I mean I understand what black men (for the most part) are attracted to, but should that stop a person from dating someone? But in their defense, I understand the idea of it. That’s why I’m single though. I’m not changing myself JUST to find a man!!! Who does that?? Not me!! When I (and my metabolism) decide to gain some weight, I’ll ignore those that passed me by in my “slim” years. It is what it is…
^NEVER change yourself for a Wolf.
Do you hear me?
You change yourself for YOU.
He will still fuck some other Fox (or get fucked in some cases) when he gets bored.
You tell him what HE needs to change.
I concur sir!
^^ Dude in the pic is fine! DAMN…
I was bout to get all intellectual but the peek-a-boo pubic hair fucked up my train of thought! LOL
Maintain a healthy body weight whatever that means to you, but don’t expect top notch men to magically appear in your life just because you have a six-pack.
I like nice bodies sure, but I’m more interested in if the dude thinks he has a nice body. Confidence is sexy on most body types. There are tons of insecure bodybuilders and height-weight proportioned people walking around picking out flaws that only exist in their minds. If a person isn’t comfortable within their own skin, no amount exercise or dieting is gonna fix that.
On the flip side, don’t get delusional about your appearance thinking you are “thick” or “chubby” when you are morbidly obese or “slim” when you’re walking around looking like a hostage. Stop it. LOL Very few people are into extremely malnourished individuals. Everyone else (which leaves room for the bulk of people) can get it, sometimes twice on Sunday. Keep hope alive.
With all that being said, sometimes a nut is just a nut. Ain’t nobody caring too much or thinking about what you look like because you probably won’t be seen or heard from again anyway so it doesn’t matter.
Suck, fuck, and duck as Jay would say.
^great advice iceed!
Men are visual, so it stands to reason that gay/bi men would be superficial when it comes to bodies. Doesn’t mean it can’t happen (I mean there is a whole subculture around ‘bears’ & chubby chasers), but yeah…
I do it for me personally; I feel better about myself when I’m in (better) shape.
Wow, the article definitely paints gays as superficial, hyper-sexual rabbits, but it is largely true in both black and white gay circles.
Of course you still have those poor, hopeless souls who lust after athletes with athletic bodies and they’ve never stepped in a gym in their entire life.