i went shopping and was to taken to dinner tonight.
by who you may ask?
well in a twist i didn’t see coming:
the wolf i had a crush on at work.
yeah…
so i made a conscious effort to get over that wolf.
i listened to the foxhole and proceeded forward from all the comments.
i meditated,
prayed,
cried,
and damn near ducked behind corners so i could ignore him.
“out of sight/out of mind…”
well liar liar and him stopped speaking for whatever reason.
from the word around the job-vine,
she decided to put her focus with the mailroom supervisor again.
we’ll see how long that lasts.
so when i got into work,
i saw him in the worker’s lounge by himself.
when he saw me,
he instantly said “sup” to me.
he always does and i try to ignore him.
i returned the favor and kept it moving.
liar liar wasn’t in today,
but later this morning,
he came over to my desk to ask questions about an outfit he wanted to rock.
“i really need to go shopping with you.” he said.
“you should.
i’d have you looking fly.” i said.
in a rather bold move i then said:
“i’m going to urban outfitters after work,
you want to roll with me?”
i wasn’t going there 4real,
but i figured why not try something different.
“yeah cool.”
oh.
oh ok…
i kept it cool and went back to what i was doing.
he is rather flaky so i didn’t really expect to actually do it.
he never texted me when he got my #.
well later this afternoon,
he came up to my desk and said:
“yo we still doing that tonight?”
well shit he is serious.
“yeah meet me around the corner at 6.”
after work,
we met up and went straight over to uo.
as we were walking into the men’s department,
he said:
“yo lets keep this between us.
this can be our thing,
ya know?”
yeah.
he said that.
as we walked around,
i picked out some outfits for him.
there was a lot of staring in my eyes and lip licking.
this time much bolder than when we are at work.
i kept it real cool tho.
kinda cold-ish.
i didn’t want to look too thirst since he is still “straight”.
when he went into the dressing room,
to try on some of the clothes i picked out,
i went and sat around the corner.
again: keeping my space.
he texted me when he was ready so i could judge.
“why don’t you sit here?” he asked,
pointing to the chair in front his dressing room.
“oh i…” i had no words at that point.
i did my ass down tho.
he isn’t as muscular as his clothes make him seem.
he is thick tho.
his arms,
thighs,
and ass are a problem.
he told me how he gained some weight.
work stress.
it was like he wanted me to comment on his body.
i asked when he planned on working out again and his answer was:
“soon.”
afterwards we went and ate at chipotle.
separate bills.
“i wish i could get high right now.
you smoke?”
“use too.”
“oh ok.”
another bold move:
“i may want to smoke again.
been kinda stressed.
would you smoke with me?”
“yeah let me know.
we could do it at your crib.”
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
see listen…
i got to know him a little better.
he is pretty cool.
charming.
i can see why all the vixens like him.
he never mentioned liar liar.
he doesnt know i know anything about that.
i’ll keep it that way.
i don’t know where he is on my side,
but i don’t want to assume anything just yet.
he wasn’t like this until after he stopped speaking to liar liar.
was i some kind of rebound?
or does he just want to be cool?
i would hate to get my emotions up again and be let down.
reason why i’m staying cold-ish.
not too much tho.
after we ate,
he gave me dap and thanked me for the help.
“lets link up again soon.”
“cool.”
i texted him when i got home and thanked him for trusting my styling vision,
said i’ll text him outfit ideas when they come to me,
and told him not to tell anyone at work:
“not at all and you welcome”
we’ll see how this goes…
He swerved you before for no reason so that enough for him to be on my shyt list. My scorpio a$$ is real funny and cut people off quick. However…I do occasionally overlook some things and if he is everything you have described, I can understand why you would too.
So IF you do pursue this secret friendship/fwb situation, DO NOT, and I mean DO NOT talk “work” PERIOD. Don’t discuss liar liar, your work assignments, your co-workers, your stress, your write-ups etc. That’s the quickest way to fk up.
Lmaooo at “I did sit my ass down tho”
great news Jamari!
I am rooting for you!
I want you to win in all aspects of life
Hope everything goes well
I don’t exactly know you or your history with the man….
LIFE RULE: Never let anyone put you in the “secret friend box” no matter what. Do not compromise your dignity.
LIFE MANTRA: It’s a BLESSING to bask in the glow of Jamari!
I get office politics and not having everybody at work in your business, but be careful to not come away feeling like you’re less than someone worthy of acknowledging as a friend or acquaintance before man or The Creator.
Lastly, think about what you want as a minimum from this association, don’t give someone else the power to yank your chain when they want to flex their ego or get some side attention. Don’t play yourself; you’ll be mad at yourself, and it’s a slippery slope to resenting him and becoming jaded.
Who’s story is this – his or yours? What I do is find or imagine a flaw, and humanize them so I can control my infatuation, and energy.
I run this, period. Run *your game*.
Hmmm…I think I like you. Lol
^i really appreciated this comment.
thank you nevets.
thank you everyone who left food for thought.
My input is different from everyone else’s.
Obviously you need to fulfill some curiousity about him so I don’t fault you for that. Sometimes you have to just let shit play out and you’ll probably realize he isn’t all that and your fantasy of him was much better.
I understand that, but for the sole reason he shunned you when he was riding with Liar Liar would be enough for him to be invisible for me.
One thing I will never put up with is a wishy washy person. You never know where you really stand with those types.
No ones says “can we keep this between us” but people who think what they’re doing is wrong. Even DL men don’t say that because it’s supposed to be understood! That alone symbolizes fence riding to me.
I feel like if he was real he wouldn’t care what people at work thought. Is he pussy whipped or just weak minded?
I encourage you to see how it plays out though
“I understand that, but for the sole reason he shunned you when he was riding with Liar Liar would be enough for him to be invisible for me.”
^^^^^This 20 times over!!!!!!! People pull this type of shit in high school all the time. Now that he’s not messing with liar liar now he wants to hang out? Duces on that one. His choice of words already makes me suspicious.
I agree with the person who said people at that job are not to be trusted. For all we know it could be a set up to get you fired. They know after the last write up they aren’t gonna make you quit so now they have to set you up. Be careful and keep it moving.
Amen! You listening to these folks Jamari? Leave this shit alone and focus on YOU and bettering you and getting out of that dead end hell hole that is your job. Because if you do fucks with that it will prove to me you really love drama and have little sense of self respect. Sorry to be blunt. But shit I’m older and don’t have time for bullshit anymore.
Take a chance be a friend alone! Never have sexual anything with this guy. Tomorrow he might make back up with liar liar and then what is your position?
I smell a set-up. As long as you work with him…don’t go there with him!
Keep it platonic and “friendly”.
DONT DO IT >>> DONT SMOKE WITH HIM >>> KEEP IT MOVING >>> WHEN HIM AND LIAR LIAR ARE KOOL AGAIN >>> BYE BYE JAMARI
He will be on your mind all weekend now lol. I think he just wanted the fact that you two shop together to be kept between y’all, not the fact you and him were hanging out. Nah. I think you should proceed with caution, really I do. Those people at work cannot be trusted, and if the friendship between you two goes sour, it might not end well. Take it slow with him.
Hey wassup little brother? You have been on my mind a lot lately. I’ve been reading some of your recent posts and not commenting. They trouble me and I’m concerned about you. Particularly “The Year the Fox Fell From the Sky.” Now I read this. You are grown and are going to do what you do. But I’m twice your age and been there, done that and did it again. And learned from the experiences and listened to others and learned some more. So I’m going to offer some unsolicited advice. Take it or leave it. To be blunt you have enough issues going on at work. Leave this guy alone. Office romances can work. But I’ve seen far more wreck the careers of folks. He is grooming you to be that DL fuck he gets on the side and then runs back to the straight side of the fence. When he said keep your hanging out a secret alarms should have gone out in your head. I mean sirens and blow horns and party horns and shit. Aren’t you worth more than that? From your previous post I see you recognize you often go after DL dudes who may throw good sex but don’t emotionally fulfill you. Sex like that can be hot (shit I blog about it all the time). The secrecy and hidden subtexts and all that shit. But is that healthy? Go out and find some gay dudes that are self confident and self assured. Shit I meet and have dated several. Dating one now lol. And have you considered a therapist to work out why you pursue the kind of men you do? Lastly you said something about looking for a man to complete you. Sorry, that shit only happens in movies. You have to complete yourself — by getting educated, getting a better job, volunteering, improving your relationship with God. Once you do that you will attract a better caliber of person. I promise. Okay, enough ranting from an old man but sometimes I read your blog posts and want to come up to NYC, shake the shit out of you, and then say let me treat you to dinner (not at Chipotle lol), and a drink so I can talk sense into you! Have a great day, stay dry, and things will get better.
I love the way you’re playing it, just giving a little but not too much. You never know what may happen with this one God works in mysterious ways. From reading this I’m getting the vibe that he’s into you and is finally trying to do something about it. Good luck!
Hey jamari I’m glad to see you got to interact with him to see how he is and I must say your handling him well and keep it that way because for some reason I get the feeling he’s one of those hetero-flexable types that can pick up on your tea and try to use you when he gets ready its all about him not you so just be careful cause that nigga ain’t right how he gone tell you keep this between y’all for what you ain’t gotta hide so be careful.
^ and see kelly,
that’s why I’m playing it cool.
others in this life would have been trying to OD flirt to smash.
next thing you know dude straight and he confirm all ya shit monday.
nah homie.
i chill and observe.
when he drops a real solid clue,
I’ll jump on it.
right now he is someone who likes my style and wants assistance with his…
Right exactly! And also jamari a lot of these dudes have serious mental issues and I get the feeling once he tries to cross that line and you give in he’s going to resent you for it as if you tempted him into it its kinda like the girl how wears a short skirt its never the guys fault its all you.
^now I’m scared…
that comment has me feeling like He needs to stay strictly in the friend zone even if he turned out to be…
on some forever type shit.
That slick ass pineapple. Play it cool. He’ll pull your card fully. All that “don’t tell anyone” shit means they’ve been talking bout you J. But he definitely IS and curious and probably would treat you right for a while and probably wants to play that Xscape shit. “Did anybody see ya? Come into my house last night?”
^ im sure they are mac.
im single,
private,
likes to wear nice put together shit,
ain’t fuckin any females to brag on my dick,
and got into it with that hoe at work…
im sure they have a nice dissertation about me.
eh.
that “let’s keep this between us” did raise an eyebrow tho.
LOLOL @ that xscape song.
Good luck but do read to much into it. . U kept your composure. Let him come to you. It may be harmless we will see…
^i agree t.
im not going to fall into that trap again.
i want to be in control of whatever this situation is or turns out to be.
he is still “straight until proven otherwise”.
i didn’t feel as attracted to him as I once did tho.
proud of myself for that.