so i’ve been going to the gym.
i have been on my gym flow,
almost every morning,
and i feel good and i feel energized.
i bought all kinds of healthy food to start the process.
i didn’t realize how expensive it was going to be,
but i took everything you guys said to me seriously.
of course nothing stays perfect for long…
i caught myself being superfox.
i decided to lift a heavier weight.
well i did…
….and fucked up my back.
in mid-“whatever i was doing“,
i felt this pain shoot right up my shoulders.
that was my que to drop the weight and walked away.
ever since i waddled home,
i have been in pain all day.
i have to sit down like a pregnant woman.
i have to do a count off to get up.
i will admit sitting upright does help,
but can you imagine trying to SLEEP upright?
i didn’t sleep last night at all.
i couldn’t move!
i had to take 5 sleeping pills just to go to bed.
imagine being in pain and drowsy?
not a good situation.
so every time i found myself adjusting,
my back politely reminded me what the situation was.
i woke up this morning with thoughts of being crippled,
which led to a nice panic attack moment i wasn’t ready for.
“am i going to die?”
“will i ever walk normal again?”
“will i always walk like i am 8 months pregnant?”
“will i ever have sex again?”
“will i even be flexible anymore?”
“will my towel rack be used as a handicap bar from now on?
since that’s what i’m using it for curently.”
that was all me this morning at 5am.
i tend to go completely left field when shit goes wrong.
i don’t even know if i want to go to the gym anymore.
i’m completely over it.
granted it was my fault,
lowkey: thank god when i was bored about two years ago,
and obviously my credit card was burning a hole in my wallet,
i randomly purchased a massaging doohickey for a chair.
it has 5 speeds,
and various functions.
i asked myself “what the hell did i need with a chair body massager?”
boy how did that suddenly come in handy!?