i’m your biggest fantasy because i’m a liar

I told three people today that it’s the anniversary of Star Fox’s death.
Two vixens; one wolf.

the vixens gave me some supportive words,
while the wolf,
turned it back to himself.
we spent the rest of the text talking about him.
Not to font vixens are better—
i’ve met my share of self-absorbed vixens as well.

just yesterday,
i was telling my therapist that irl,
i come off like i have it all together.
on the Foxhole,
i’m painfully honest with my community but my walls are up to those i know.

I carry myself in a certain way,
trying to exude confidence and composure.
I look like I have it all figured out,
maintaining my overall presentation whenever I’m #outside. 
I put my best paws forward,
aiming for acceptance by those around.

what i’ve learned tho?…

when people see you a certain way,
they’re often shell-shocked when you admit your truth.

It was all good when you were playing straight.
The moment you admit that you are gay and those vixens can’t fuck you
or the other males start thinkin’ you are gonna try to come onto them

Or that one male who was intrigued because you weren’t out but now is shunning you with the others

people prefer the comforting lie over facing the real truth.
just look at the whole diddy scandal.
people see him as a hip-hop legend and part of their greatest memories.
learning the opposite is like finding out santa doesn’t exist.

this got me thinking about how we’re perceived in the forests around us.
some people are so attracted to us,
or maybe envious,
they create a fantasy version of us in their minds.

so, it begs the question:
is it better to fake it until you make it?
even if you’re suffering silently,
is it wiser to maintain the image rather than reveal the truth?

and how lonely does it feel when you feel you can’t be you?
i feel like this is why so many people are fake and fall victim to deleting themselves.

Has society taught us its better and more effective to be a good liar?