i wish nigel shelby got to read my font

what a handsome child.
his eyes and his smile are infectious.
he isn’t with us anymore.
nigel shelby from alabama,
who was only 15,
killed himself after being bullied for his sexuality last week.
some stories i need a moment to process.
stuff like this is always so sad and triggering for me.
i hate we lost someone so young to other’s ignorance.
speaking of ignorance
an alabama deputy,
who should know better,
is under fire for his alleged hatred.
jeff graves posted the alleged following in regards to nigel…

i love people are so ignorant on social media.
folks continue to show out for likes and get dragged.
jeff has been suspended for his ignorance.


so this is for my all my foxhole,
old and young,
who might be getting bullied for being who you are.

i was bullied pretty badly growing up.
i was a quiet fox who folks already assumed was different.
my bullies would torment me relentlessly.
i was even jumped because of it.
i’ve watched all my bullies get thrown in jail,
or live in irrelevancy.
they see me now and they scatter.
not because i’m “billy badass“,
but because they see a survivor.
i’ve survived a ton of shit growing up.
as uncomfortable as these moments are,
and as suicidal as i was,
i’m glad i didn’t actually go through with it.
all those situations helped shape my character.
i won’t font that you resort to violence,
but i will font you to never take your own life.
don’t ever let anyone who hurt you win.
killing yourself means that they won.
they succeeded in getting you out of here.
if you need to change schools like i did,
or even departments from work bullies,
then you need to do so.
no one is worth us losing you.
when you look back at the days you were bullied,
you will appreciate how strong it made you.
trust me.
love you lots.

lowkey: it’s surprising how bullies are at work now.

if you’re feeling suicidal in any way…

call 1-800-273-8255
available 24 hours every day

10 thoughts on “i wish nigel shelby got to read my font

  1. Young members of our community committing suicide due to bullying are never stories I like to hear about. Homophobia will always exist, but children are not mentally equipped to handle it in a way an adult would. This is one of the reasons young children and teens of the LGBT community need genuine older mentors that will be able to guide them through any bullying they have experienced, and teach them how to handle it if it happens in the future. Parents could be somewhat of a help, but are not able to overcome their homophobia even if it would benefit their child.

  2. The NASTY and EVIL shit Black people are saying about this child being gay, is just DISGUSTING! Motherfuckas (male and female) projecting their own fucked up sexual identity issues onto this child.

  3. First of all, can we please STOP referring to this CHILD as “handsome?”
    It’s cringe af!

    Now, lets talk about what’s being done to dismantle the culture that allowed for this tragic event to take place. Lets talk about what Black heterosexual people on twitter are doing and saying to stop this maddening toxic shit! If this was some young child who got shot by a mythical racist white man black Twitter would be on Defcon 9 while organizing protests and riots.

    1. Totally agreed! But many gay men always focus on looks even when discussing young boys–its scary and borderline predatory. It’s sad that this young man had to loose his life in a day in age where gay rights are supposed to be progressive. Children emulate the adults they see. In the black community Gay Hate is very strong. I remember being in the church arena totally accepted until I had to live my truth. The horrible things that was said to me and about me took years to overcome. It was okay to stay in the closet and not act a certain way. My prayers are with his family during this tragic time.

  4. Middle fingers up to that ignorant deputy. Anyway, I hated when I read the headlines of little Nigel. I honestly wished that he could of held on, and saw it gets better with time for the most part. Kids can be so cruel and a lot of times we’re taught to hate when we’re kids to people who are different than us. I had a few situations of people trying to bully me back in school, but I had to stand up to them and thankfully I had friends who would fight for me. Everyone doesn’t have that kind of support system. God Bless Nigel, may he rip. For all the people who are reading this and might be going through anything just know better days are coming for you, please don’t ever take your own life. We really have to stop the hate and love each other more.

  5. While, regardless of his looks…(sometimes I side eye when I look at people’s comment on Facebook when they put emphasis on people’s looks & them dying..) Anyways, I was hoping you had posted this story & I just missed it because if I saw it again, I’d be pissed. I think I started this plan of action that if I see any LGBTQ getting harassed by a heterosexual bully, it was time to square up. I was about to beat they ass. I even went as far as wanting to walk outside in heels so someone could say something so I can beat their ass.

    Ive had about enough of this. I’ve also had enough of people crying about when is this going to end. As soon as you start beating they asses back. Ain’t no reason you should make anyone feel uncomfortable for being themselves. What kills me…what really kills me tho is how fake people are. Most of these folks are assholes who are always turning their nose up at gay people or homosexuality in general but when someone kills themselves or gets killed they are crying things are terrible in this world. Yet, they never say or do anything to improve the situation.

    Now we have someone dead, while the bully homophobes are alive probably with little remorse for what they did. They should consider this a hate crime to be honest. I’d lock the bullies up seriously. Why do the bullies never get punished for their verbal abuse?

    Lord, this post don got me irritated and I said I wasn’t going to comment on it if you posted it. Just pass it up..Jeez I failed.

    The next time someone say anything to someone LGBTQ or threaten them and I run across it, I’mma be on the news.

  6. So sad 😢 I was on his IG, @lovelynigel, yesterday and his classmates were posting the names of his “alleged bullies” and surprisingly to me ,few of them were girls.Also his mom seem to be supportive,according to his friends.So I wish people would stop judging her.A child/person can have a loving family and still feel bad about themselves due to bullying by peers and society.Just like a person can have a wonderful family and still deal with issues like depression.

    1. I’ve been trying to find out who they all are cause I got something I want to say to each and every last one of them…They lucky we don’t live in the same city…

  7. That young man was handsome and he deserve to be here just like the rest of us! May he know peace in Heaven! I do apologized he is no longer here with us. The foxhole send our condolences

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