Thirsty behavior bothers me.
Well, pure dehydration bugs me.
I was reading an entry from Vain on his site on the train.
His blog tends to be my commute read.
I literally said out loud:
RIGHT!
Everyone looked at me like I was one of the crazies.
I did not care because the subject matter was one I see all too well.
Let’s get to it…
CLICK HERE TO READ VAIN’S ENTRY
I have seen this on:
BGC
Facebook
Myspace
Twitter
Tumblr
Model Mayhem.
Exceptionally good-looking masculine Wolves with a bunch of thirst buckets in their comments or re-tweeting their statuses.
I have seen these Wolves type the most vapid status messages and a ton of Foxes, Hyenas, and Jackals (and Vixens in the straight world) taking form of what they think he may like.
They turn into font thugs and every other word is “brah” or “word son“.
WHAT???????????????????????
You looking like Queen of the Night, but suddenly 50 Cent???
IT LITERALLY SLAYS ME.
These same Wolves eat it up because these legion of admirers stay just sucking on their e-dicks.
And then do one of three things:
1. Complain that people want to fuck them (met with thirst buckets co signing on the thirsty)
2. Out the person because they wanted to fuck them (met with thirst buckets laughing at the other thirsty)
3. Whine that people only want them for their bodies (met with thirst buckets denying they don’t want the pipe)
Vain made a point that I agree with.
We could never be thirsty in a group setting.
Hell, I am never thirsty like that by myself.
I may look and do the eye contact thing with a fine ass Wolf,
but if he doesn’t take the bait,
I reel it back up and stir my ship in another direction.
Group thirst is the worst kind of thirst.
It is like you are trying to swim in a big ass pool that is full of people,
in the same Wolf’s backyard, and he ain’t home.
You sit there, twiddling your thumbs,
hoping this fine Wolf reads your message.
You log on and off, Harrison Ford Frantic, hoping he acknowledges you.
Not realizing that his in-box has about 2,000 other messages with the same thing.
Here is the thing you have you realize…
He don’t want YOU.
And even if he did, you would not want to meet him like that.
Truthfully, this is a sick game designed to make HIM feel better.
I call them “Bone Collectors” because all they do is get hard-ons by all the admiration and messages they collect.
And out of all the messages they collect, the only person that will lock them down is someone they meet face to face, and preferably through a friend.
…. AND NOT IN THE THIRST SECTOR CALLED “THE CLUB”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These Wolves tend to be very guarded,
only because they have been played by enough Jackals and Hyenas in the past, so they know the deal.
They hardly take anyone seriously in the thirst pool.
Usually it is filled with the ugly, fat, and the low self esteemed who think with their boldness, they have a shot.
And if you do get that shot:
He will pretty much be some OD sexual bore
with no personality, charm, or social skills.
They tend to be VERY needy and in need of constant validation.
Fox like me ain’t got the time.
To my TRUE Foxes out there:
get your ass out the pool and admire from afar.
Take it from me…
You may not like him.
Plus… someone needs to be thirsty in this world.
Can’t be us!
OH MY GOD
I know I’m late
But I hate these types of people with a passion
So I have to comment lol
And I know hate is a strong word !
And these types of people referring to
1) The “sexy” dude who builds his self-esteem on such shallow and pathetic thirstiness
2) The thirsty boys themselves
I could go on and on as long as the post itself
But I just want to say that
These people are fools.
They don’t realize how they look, because they’re so caught up in it.
Let’s see them take a step back and look at their own pathetic self,
one for feeding off attention of people they barely know who only want them for one thing,
and the other shamelessly worshipping the other looking desperate and all but not caring.
Pride? Dignity? Shame? Do those words even exist in Webster’s Dictionary, 2011 Revised Edition?
Oh, just a side note…
I ESPECIALLY hate those that get the attention by posting OTHER’s pics and pics from 2004.
Thanks Jamari, for spreading awareness.
Get your ass out the pool, and admire from afar.
Indeed.
Say what you want, but ultimately a higher value is placed on physical appearance than anything else. Even the ones that are unfortunate in the looks department covet attractive guys way out if their league.
The ironic part is the the facebook/bgc celebrity is rarely ever the full package. They usually only look good.
The full package doesn’t want or need the validation of people they barely know through likes and ratings.
^^SOOOO AGREED!!!
J. thanks for sharing your experience with me and the “let’s f**k mentality is what I call the fast food fallacy in which a person approaches online hookups from the perspective of going through a fast food drive through and order what they want from the menu (online profile), in front of them(big dick, top, bttm, tall short, etc) with the consumer feeling of entitlement that they will get what they ordered because that is what fast foods establishments are created for. I think that online dating sites are very conducive environments for people to commit the fast food fallacy.
It is hard. And no, we are not putting men on a pedestal or treating being single like the worst part about living in case that was going to be brought up. But we are learning as we go along. In a world where it seems as though even the average wolves have groupies, how do you navigate the crowd? How exactly does one go about getting them “caught up”? Being funny and interesting and NOT sleeping with him for a very long period of time?
I don’t think I’ve met a groupie who didn’t feel as though they stood out in the crowd.
Wow great posts however I think that no one addressed the fact that the black gay community is largely superficial when it comes to a person looks like as most men tend to be because we are visually orientated . Here is my two cents and the subject the only way that I can connect with other black men is online since I don’t do the clubs, gay events or functions and I am not downing the brothers who do. The first lesson that I learned from my online interactions is that online hooks ups are for the beautiful people only lol, ( I am very attractive and ripped in case you are wondering) lol. In other words I learned that a majority of gay black men that I met online were very superficial nor were they interested in meeting me or having any prolonged chats unless I met their stats requirements.
When a brother ask me for my stats or how I look; I call this the audition phase of the hook up negotiations lol and I actually wrote a paper on this subject. This is one of the primary reasons that I stop trying to connect with brothers from the net, because I don’t like being objectified because I feel like I am begging someone to like me by convincing them through the submission of evidence (pics, webcam interaction etc), that I am worthy of their attention. I think if a brother wants hook up with gay or bisexual brothers they have to understand that they must in general submit to being objectified, or be guilty of objectifying others. J Fox echoed this ideology with this thought “They hardly take anyone seriously in the thirst pool. Usually it is filled with the ugly, fat, and the low self esteemed who think with their boldness,” (I am not picking you J ).
Being physically objectified is something that I never experienced whenever I attempted to connect with women online. So are these guys vain or are they merely reflecting the traditional value system of online gay/bisexual brothers in general?
^^ great comment.
I feel it is being vain and also, like you said, being visual as most men are.
I won’t lie, I like a good looking Wolf BUT I do not want to fuck him on the first night.
when I use to do online dating,
I got requests from ugly dudes only wanting to fuck me.
I was “a bone collector” to them and I noticed that the fine ones I wanted, never took me serious because they had a fab club sucking on their e dicks.
I immediately got lost in the shuffle.
it is frustrating.
i just want to meet someone and go get some coffee and talk.
if I choose to have sex with you after that,
that is my decision but they give you no time online!!!!
it’s “let’s fuck” mentality that fucks the game up.
back in the day, wolves use to take me out and do chill shit.
now you cannot meet a wolf who isn’t trying to do nothing but come over and fuck.
I’m gunna have to disagree with you partly. I don’t believe any group of gay men are more superficial than he next. Perhaps the parameters of what is desirable may be different between groups, but we all for the most part don’t always go for or end up with the really attractive even if it seems that way. Online dating is EASIER for beautiful people but it’s definitely geared towards those who are okay with being someone’s temporary fix. There are plenty of ugly boys with as many notches on their bed posts as beautiful people. Women and men do not think the same and don’t look for the same things so i wouldn’t doubt that women wouldn’t objectify you. At least not to the extent men do. Women tend to be more concerned with how you support them.
Men are looks focused, yes. No denying that. But I do believe online dating has a culture and that culture goes a bit further than just superficiality. Many people who date online tend to be the types who link PHYSICAL ATTRACTION to COMPATIBILITY and use their looks as a form of currency. And by placing an emphasis on your appearance, you dictate the type of men that you are likely to desire, attract, or appeal to: men that are shallow and fickle. And i believe the system repeats itself and heightens in its severity. Dating outside the tiny realm of the internet may bring about different results. Sure, there are plenty of sex-focused and emotionally unavailable men out in the real world. But perhaps when meeting under different circumstances, the foundation through which interaction is based on will be different.
Vain great response and thank you J. Fox once again for such a great post. I guess I must be so vain that I am thinking you are talking about me don’t you lol? Allow me to clarify in case I did not do so in my original post, because I was just speaking in general about men being superficial, however I do challenge you re-read some of the post on your blog as well as the some of the post on this one. I think you will see a general pattern of the superficiality in what the posters tend to write about. I am not saying that the posters are superficial but in their posts you should be able see what traits they tend to covet in a man when talking about them. I agree with you that men in general are “look focused,” however if you were to do an autopsy on their relationships you will usually find that the cause of it’s death was mostly due the lack of the more substantial compatibility traits such as; honesty, love, communication, emotional integrity, etc. This is why men tend to see an attractive person initially and assume that because they are attractive and have a big dick or ass that they are nice, intelligent, honest, decent, and good in bed; only to discover later that they posses none of these attributes.
In other words most men are focus on the physical first however that usually only last 10 minutes into the relationship. Afterwards men will desire all the traits that make the person we are attracted to last over the long run. That is why women tend to look at a man when they first met from their shoes to their head and men look at women from their head to their feet.
Another great post by you and Vain, as I have stated in the past, I am good friends with a well liked wolf, and if people could see the other side of these dudes, they are usually insecure and really worried about their bodies and looks and have a almost compulsive obsession about working out and making sure they look good. My friend constantly looks in mirrors, is always flexing makes sure he is the center of attention where ever we go. Is always using thirsty foxes to loan him money, feed him because he cant manage money for shit, never pays bills on time. I cant really respect a man no matter how good he looks who doesnt take care of business. The fall is going to be hard for all the good looking wolves when their looks fade because they are going to discover that they have nothing else and all the people who were in their fan clubs will move on to younger more exciting wolves leaving them on the clearance rack.
^^agreed tajan.
there is always some new fine piece of meat to take the place.
it is a constant rotation to be a “bone collector” as i call them.
“The only person that will lock them down is someone they meet face to face, and preferably through a friend.”
And that is the bottom line! The guy i was referring to in my blog says he does not do the facebook dating thing AT ALL and yet they still hound him. He may entertain you if your lucky, but you will NEVER be the one who locks him down. Not through the internet. I’m so glad there is someone else who sees this besides myself. But why is this behaviour so rampant. Where are people learning to chase after unavailable men on social media and believe that enough likes on their statuses or comments on their pages or retweets on twitter will somehow make them stand out from the crowd?
because, in life, there are those who stand on the stage and those who fill the audience.
for us Vain,
common sense already told us who he was just by observation.
the audience will support this person just because he is fine.
the audience is content being a groupie.
I have no doubt in my mind if those same men were to meet us at a small shindig, that he would be all over us.
he would be exchanging numbers and asking when can we meet.
we will get lost in a shuffle doing the group lust thing.
and I have no time to be one in a million fighting for one piece of meat!!
I got to write an entry about Star Fox meeting someone like that from the net…. and how it was a total disappointment.
I struggle with this. Personally, I think once they realize we aren’t easy, they’ll be turned off as opposed to turn on. There are a number of men I’ve encountered who were instantly uninterested the moment i said i wasn’t the type to just give it up they lost interest and moved on to the next slut. Granted, these men are probably looking for something thats strictly temporary anyway but… how long to we have to wade in Lake Playinghardtogetsome until it finally pays off? So far, in the abstract it seems to make sense. That he’s going to realize I’m not like the others and in turn want to pursue something further. In practice, it turns out that once he realizes i’m not like the others, he goes out and gets a basic bytch while trying to keep me on the back burner.
^unfortunately they like games.
they love that shit.
I learned to mute my real intentions when it came to them.
you have to lead them on so far down a path that they get caught up… all without giving it up.
every Wolf is different and observation is key.
they get tired of the basic slores too.
you can only fuck them but so long without losing interest.
it is hard but we are learning/will learn to conquer!
and trust,
those same wolves are thirsty because they are also using those things as ways to validate their self worth.
Well maybe it depends on the individual. Personally I haven’t had sex with a male since college. I’m still attacted to males, but I stop just shy of intamacy. However the net alots me to look at guy on guy porn, have wbcam sex with guys, and even flirt with guys. Some may think I’m thirsty, and to an extent I guess I am, I mean who but thirsty people post pics of their dick on twitter? But the truth is, at least for me, it’s all harmless. Whenever I get a dm asking for face pics, or where do you live, or what’s up for tonight…I fall back. I aint that damn thirsty. I’m just a lil pathetic.LOL. Hey it is what it is…I understand though there are some truly thirsty people online…However there are just as many quenching that thirst. Plenty of folks begging for attn, fishing for compliments, seeking validation…I guess that’s just another form of thirst.lol
moreso thristy for those gorgeous wolves who have a legion of groupies chasing them.
they say on facebook or something:
“why can’t i find a man?”
… and about 75 comments in about 5 minutes from thristy foxes, jackals, and hyenas.
you seem to be just havin fun and doing you.