Are they really sad because he isn’t his past self,
or because he switched it up to fit society’s standards?
when i saw that tweet,
i remembered a past situation.
during one of my most intense struggles in my timeline,
i was dragged to a community center known for being a safe space for gay youth.
as someone who didn’t feel comfortable being gay yet,
the experience was a bit too deep for my then-fragile comfort zone.
It was there that I first noticed him...
he was quiet and undeniably attractive when i walked in.
he looked like a prototype of someone i had a crush on but when he let his fur down,
he transformed into something that shocked me.
i remember him wrapping a sheet around himself like a dress,
twirling on the couches,
and declaring himself the “princess of the center“.
i remember running into the stairwell crying and asking if this is what being gay meant.
he made me question myself and all of my insecurities and past trauma.
now that i’ve grown and healed,
i see the beauty within the boldness.
Fast forward to several years later and there he was again,
sitting across from me on the train.
This time he was muscular,
covered in tattoos,
and a huge difference from the flamboyant princess I remembered.
He had become someone entirely different,
someone who had evidently decided to switch it up.
who I was five or ten years ago is not who I am today.
who i will be five or ten years into the future,
if God spares my life,
will not be who i am now.
many of us started out embracing one side of ourselves,
only to lean into another as we ebbed and flowed.
some of the past “queens” or “princesses” have evolved into something else entirely.
some of the masculine males of today were once fem yesterday.you see many of these gym rats were once nerdy AF.
that male you are fuckin’ because he is dominant?
he might have been someone submissive you would not have fucked before.
Just because a male has a tank for a bawdy,
that doesn’t mean he is masculine or dominant either.
looking the part doesn’t mean being the part.
hell,
many of these straights are so emotionally feminine even though they look tough.
we need to give each other the space to try new things,
to evolve,
and to transform because at the end of the day…
Who we are at this moment probably isn’t even our final form.
lowkey: if only i realized the power in what i was scared of within myself…
i would have probably been riding dick much earlier than i should have.
Sometimes you age out of shit. Women aren’t girly girls wearing ruffle socks and bows their entire life. So why would a man 25+ still be wearing girls clothes. Gay Men go to work just like straight men so the wigs, Weaves and nails aren’t always conducive to their modified lifestyles.
It’s annoying that society makes it like every gay man who isn’t being outwardly feminine is DL or hiding
When I was 19/20 I was experimenting with mascara and black nail polish
I didn’t like the look so I stopped it’s as simple as that
It’s survival. It’s extremely dangerous to be a Black man and effeminate. It’s seen as weakness. Other men can smell it on you.
He still has the tendencies in private, drunk or simply…comfortable.
It’s what we call a butch queen.
And that guy you met, changed to expand his dating options.
I am fem, but don’t say I am fem because it brings out this weird portion of men who don’t like being gay. Want me to wear wigs, shave my entire body, panties, thongs, lipstick…chile, get a woman or femboy or crossdresser. I act fem but I don’t want to dress like a woman. Dresses are..very vulnerable to me. Think how you feel wearing a hospital robe. That’s how dresses are to me.
I have found that the “masc4masc” guys live for me in person. They mock my voice(naturally high) but because I have facial hair, it somehow balances out for them.
Clean shaven fem guys do not get the same treatment.
We love to do this “I’m still a man”. Chile, you can be whatever you want. You will still be man enough.
‘The Influencer’ got it right in the comment above. Sooo many gays equate gay w femininity and proximity to and association w feminine things, so you can’t be surprised by how this becomes cyclical.
Idk if they still do ‘gay mothers’, etc, outside of ballroom houses, but of course the ‘kids’ try to emulate and follow the standards. Throw in the fact that these boys know they like men and masculinity, and since they see women having those kinds of male partners, many of them (thanks again, heteronormativity!!) think trying to be as fem as possible is the way to get the men they want.
If I had a dollar for every story I know like this…
And what sucks is that they usually end up being made a mockery by many of the fem gays they used to run w/be like, for realizing that they weren’t being themselves and were just fitting in. It’s not much different than the kids who do dumb stuff to fit in w street dudes, who later realize they aren’t even about that life!