when i was a young millennial who was struggling with my sexuality,
i needed to hear “good luck, babe!” by chappell roan.

i heard it recently and it was like finding a lifeline.
she’s singing a Foxhole anthem of our young,
gay,
and dealing with the confused in love and lust.
the song tells the story of a lesbian who falls for another girl,
but that girl’s pretending to be straight.
“good luck, babe!” is chappell’s way of saying:

“You can’t suppress who you really are but I hope it all works out with the straights!
You’ll always fantasize about me but I hope things work out in your dead end relationship with home girl!”

with that gem of comfort and acceptance,
and because music is a solace for many of us during the good and bad,
i have to ask…

Where TF were these kinds of songs when I was young and green?
Where TF was this song when I fell for the wolves of Jamari’s past?
Where TF was this song when I was crying and needed a shoulder?

this is why so many young gay millennials gravitated toward female singers.
this is why many of them became our gay icons.
bey
brit
janet
madonna
mariah
whitney
they were voicing our desires,
heartbreaks,
and unfulfilled dreams.
we could relate to their songs because we were dealing with ain’t shit pineapples too.
they knew certain lyrics of theirs touched our souls and turned us into devoted fans.
if a lyric like this came out during one of our first crushes with a confused straight:

“You can kiss a hundred boys girls in bars
Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling
You can say it’s just the way you are
Make a new excuse, another stupid reason”

…and just like that,
i would have been able to move on so much faster.

it made me reflect on the current songs for same sex relations.
billie eilish came out swinging with “lunch“:

as the world evolves,
more same-sex-attracted artists are coming out and sharing their stories.
they’re giving comfort to all the generations who had to struggle in silence.
their lyrics are bold and right to the point.
no decoding or “bad bitch gay energy with a twirl and death drop“.
why did it take so long?
and if these songs had come out when we were younger,
would it have been successful?
I can’t help but wonder:

How different would our lives be if we had these voices when we needed them most?

lowkey: ironically,
the amount of Foxholers who told me i’ve been a comfort to them.
the “work wolf” saga and my transparency has helped so many.
that meant a lot because i’m a voice to the voiceless.