today,
i spent the entire day cleaning up the joint.
it was a basic apartment cleaning to throwing out a ton of shit.
i had clothes in laundry bags for the last 3 months.
i didn’t realize that i had so much shit.
so much of my old clothes were bagged up for the red cross.
skin and hair care products that i don’t use went down the trash chute.
as it was all sitting on my floor,
damn near taking up most of the space in my room,
i came to realize something about myself.

I’m a low-key hoarder

yeah…

now,
not this kind of hoarding:

…but the kind that likes to hold onto the memory of the emotions.
an “emotional hoarder“.
it might be a cancer thing,
idk.
i’ve kept a lot of stuff just for the memories:

keepsakes
notes
movie tickets
all kinds of random shit

realistically tho,
none of that stuff serves me any purpose.
those folks i had “good times” are no longer in my life.
most of them left on horrible terms too.
it made me wonder…

Why do we hold onto all this crap?

it’s not like those folks are coming back.
sure,
the memories will never die,
but these items were in a time warp that didn’t allow me to move on.
i’m sure they aren’t holding onto shit that we shared…

But why am I?

it was hard to imagine throwing things out,
but once i did,
i felt almost free.
it was like a weight was lifted off.
if i feel like i’m “holding on“,
ima check myself.
even with clothes i probably won’t wear again.
it’s gotta go —–>
it clears up a lot of energy and space that could be used for better.