foxhole, cum experience the stages of drug use with me

i came the the conclusion recently:

I don’t like smoking weed

confession: i did because everyone around me did.
tv and music always makes it seems so amazing,
yet i never have those experiences.
every time i smoked,
i always ended up:

…paranoid af
…with every thought in my head enhanced
… a horrible depression the next day

alcohol loosens me up,
but weed is actually a downer for me.
the last time i smoked (which was last year for a r&b/birthday party),
i felt like i could pick up on everyone’s energy tho.
i felt intensely psychic af.
that’s a whole nother story.
they say weed is the gateway drug use to harder drugs.
i can believe it.
i saw this video on twitter that broke my heart.
it was the stages of drug use with this one vixen and well…

sigh.
it’s like the story line in “snowfall” on fx with mel,
which legit destroyed me:

 x SPOILER FOR THOSE WHO NEVER WATCHED

a fictional character had me not sleeping at night.


i know some folks who had promising lives and drugs ruined them.
you’ll see them tweaking on the streets and there’s nothing you can do about it.
i’ve always wondered…

Why do people end up being crackheads?

is it depression?
toxic people around you?
weak minded?
generational curses from our families?
we see so many examples of “what not to do“,
but we end up doing it anyway.
one of my home-vixens wanted to try coke because her friends did/do it,
especially her toxic ex whose life is ruined because of drugs.
her reasoning:

“I wanted to see what is so special about it and what about it has everyone so hooked.”


i guess i answered my own question.

low-key: they don’t let you know that most celebs are functioning addicts.
i think a majority are to whatever their drug of choice is.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

9 thoughts on “foxhole, cum experience the stages of drug use with me

  1. IReally sad stuff, I’ve always in a way seen life as a battlefield, so I NEVER like to be off my guard, this is why I dnt like the feeling of “being fucked up” I just hate the idea of not being in control of my body, because I’ve seen how life/ people take advantage when your not on your guard! So it just kills me to see that young lady, breast nearly exposed, Not in her right mind & completely unable to defend herself, I just truley hate to see it 😢

    1. ^its the sad look of the reality that tv and movies don’t really show you.
      some can get off of drugs easily and others have addictive personalities.
      some use drugs as coping mechanisms.

      imagine all the males out here who use drugs to suppress their sexualities?

  2. Ironically many drug dealers are the drug addicts that we see. My second eldest brother Abdul age 43, who’s currently incarcerated until 2031 due to a life of crime, violence and etc said when he was younger he started smoking weed with these guys he used to hang around/deal drugs with and that one day his Jamaican homie invited him to his crib to smoke with him and his folks. My brother said almost immediately once he took a puff he felt his soul like ascending from his body. So he asked the friend wtf you gave me that can’t be weed and the friend replied. Wet…angeldust basically. We noticed he (my brother) started acting crazy and extra violent. He had to be like 19 or 20 at the time. Years later he confessed to us about his drug usage and said that the feeling he initially had was better than his best orgasm. So he said he smoked it again but it was never as thrilling as that original high. So he started popping pills and etc. I really believe his addiction lead to his poor choices. Drug addiction is real so I tell folks never say never just be thankful it’s not your demon to battle because we all have something that we’re battling. Depression, drug addiction, alcoholism, sex addiction etc. I just find it ironic when I see alcoholics judging drug addicts harshly

    1. ^wow.
      this was intense.
      thank you for sharing your brother’s story.
      heartbreaking.
      that leads me to this next question:

      can folks really trust where they get their weed from?

      can dealers spike weed and sell to their clients being spiteful?

      1. Honestly if you don’t grow itself you can’t trust people and all these different flavors and etc are NOT NATURAL. Natural Marijuana doesn’t have all of these different fragrances and colors in it. Folks better be smarter than that. Half of these fools smoking crack or wet mixed in their weed

  3. Edibles haven’t made me crazy but you have to also know YOUR limits. Its the same with drinking. If you know you get drunk after two shots, you know three will have you hugging somebody toilet all night. If one puff get you paranoid, you don’t need to smoke period. Try edibles. You have to know what you can deal with before it takes you to another level. Moon rocks may not be for somebody who never smoked before. It may be week to somebody who smoke moon rocks on the regular. Stick with whatever you feel comfortable with.

  4. Thanks for bring this topic up, JamariFox. I think lots of Black folks turn to drugs to deal with life’s pains and traumas. Life is hard enough as it is and when you add in being Black and all the other psychological, social and economic challenges many of us face even under the best of circumstances but compound it with difficult circumstances individually and systematically, drugs become a coping mechanism. I def think this is an issue when you add in being a woman/LGBTQ/working-class – poor etc.

    The problem is that drugs, even if used recreationally, can become addictive. Whether it’s nicotine (cigarettes) on through serious drugs like crack, meth, heroin, fentanyl, etc., the effects can be deadly. I lost a close relative to a drug overdose, and I know that a major aspect of it was pain this person never adequately got help for. Church didn’t do it, but intensive psychotherapy and drug treatment might have. But how do you get someone to agree to it if they think it’s just about personal will and weakness and lack of Christian faith, and then on top of that, how do you pay for it if you aren’t rich and have the means to do so.

    1. ^very deep comment and i’m sorry about your family member.

      i don’t care what anyone tells me,
      weed is a drug and it makes folks either paranoid or zombie-like at times.
      it can be fun if the right person doesn’t get negatively affected by it,
      but it can become addictive and then it’s a wrap.

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