did aaron hernandez father secretly ruin him?

some of the older generations really ruined some of us.
i’m talking generation x and the baby boomers.
gay or straight.
i don’t know how some of them were raised,
but they definitely took their issues out on us.
it’s obvious how some are try to reclaim their youth.
it becomes a dangerous cycle,
through millennials and generation z,
until someone decides to stop.
unfortunately ex nfl baller jackal,
aaron hernandez,
decided to stop by killing himself.

new reports have taken a deeper look into his childhood.
one that was riddled with abuse and molestation.
this will be a two part entry.
it all seemed to allegedly start when his father passed in 2007,
the same year he took ^that yearbook picture,
but it seems his life was pure hell before that via “the daily mail”

To outside observers, Hernandez’s father Dennis was the ultimate supportive dad.

When he suddenly died at the age of 49, during his younger son’s junior year, many believed it crushed Hernandez and marked the beginning of his downfall. 

But his brother have since revealed that Dennis ran a home where homophobia was rampant and abuse was the ultimate motivational tool.

Jonathan Hernandez, the NFL star’s older brother, said Dennis long had concerns that Hernandez ‘had a feminine way about him’. 

He closely watched at how his youngest son ‘stood or used his hands’. And he became enraged when a young Hernandez expressed interest in cheerleading. 

‘He wanted to be a cheerleader. My cousins were cheerleaders and amazing,’ Jonathan, 32, recalled. 

And I remember coming home and my dad put an end to that real quick. And it was not okay. My dad made it clear that he had his definition of a man.’ 

Dennis also frequently threw around the term ‘f****t’, which Jonathan said he used ‘all the time’.

Standing. Talking. Acting. Looking. It was the furthest thing my father wanted you to even look like in our household,’ he said. ‘This was not acceptable to him.’ 

And Dennis was a man to be feared in the Hernandez household, ruling his sons with an iron fist

Sometimes they came as punishment, such as when Dennis left Hernandez with a black eye because he drank before a school dance.

Sometimes they came when Dennis felt his boys weren’t working hard enough in school or at football. Other times they came for no discernible reason at all.

One time it got so bad that Jonathan threatened to call the authorities. But Dennis remained unfazed. 

‘I picked up the phone once to call, to seek help,’ he recalled. ‘And his response was. “Call them.”‘

‘And he handed me the phone, and he said “I’m going to beat you even harder, you and your brother, and they’re going to have to pull me off of you when they knock down the door.”‘  

about the alleged molestation:

Hernandez would later tell both Jonathan and one of his lawyers, George Leontire, about the sexual abuse he suffered as a child. 

Both Jonathan and Leontire – who later said that Hernandez ‘clearly was gay’ – have refused to name his abuser.

A college girlfriend later revealed that Hernandez had also told her about being molested as a child, saying: ‘He never dealt with it. It led to issues in his sexuality’.  

this is so sad and interesting to me.
maybe that role of “thug” he created was a wall…


even though they’re trying to create the “martyr” role,
aaron’s story is something many of us have faced growing up.
being a gay or bi male came with a ton of abuse,
especially when you didn’t do what “the other boys” did.
whether we are dl or out,
most of us share a very similar story.
but have different ways of trying to suppress the pain.
those who:

sleep around heavily
addicted to drugs
massive insecurities
insanely homophobic

…those can be signs of some kind of trauma.
most often times picked up from our parents.
it can be levels to it.

i’ll be honest,
reading it brought back painful memories from my own childhood.
aaron and i have similar experiences,
especially the part about getting beat for being remotely “feminine”.
i went through a bad boy phase at one point.
i cringe at the thought now.
after both my parents passed away,
i went downhill trying to gain acceptance from those around me.
others who were just as hurt and putting on their own shows as well.

unlike the other gays who can be extremely nasty,
depending on the story,
i try to be very patient.
you never know the abuse others have gone/going through,
even with the straights.
some of us are acting out in pain and trying to figure shit out.

article cc: the daily mail

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

14 thoughts on “did aaron hernandez father secretly ruin him?

  1. Wow, this is deep. I was teased a lot growing up about my feminine characteristics. I was heavily into music and the Arts. I play piano and I took dance: tap and Jazz. I was always in chorus, therefore I was in a lot of Productions and concerts. I’ve always had that musical gift, but it comes with a price. I think my dad was a little more Progressive than Aaron’s dad, but it did not stop my brother and my peers from teasing me about what was very natural for me. I learned early that I was different and that I needed to somehow blend in so that I would not be picked on. I study my brother and his friends, I looked at what they liked, and I’m beginning to try and emulate that. I am almost 40 now and I know how two kind of switch it on and off. I’m more comfortable in my skin now, but that type of trauma follows you for the rest of your life. I totally understand what Aaron was going through. Being forced to hide a part of yourself in order to survive and fit in is a very difficult thing to do. If you don’t process your true feelings and thoughts about yourself in a healthy way, you could end up in deep depression or even feeling suicidal. We as a society have got to start making men, especially black men, feel safe to express themselves how they choose or we’re going to find ourselves with more Aaron Hernandez’s.

    1. ^so deep.
      so fuckin deep o.
      i relate with the “study someone to blend in” concept.
      imagine all those out here who are doing the same?
      not even to be vindictive,
      but just to calm their demons down.
      it’s very sad.

    1. ^i was thinking the same!!!!!
      was he taking out his own struggles on his offspring?
      there is so many levels to this story.
      i’m interested in the movie of his life tbh…

      1. I’ve never told anyone this but I was molested by my father when I was younger. He ended up becoming a deadbeat dad, but I will never forget what he did to me. He suffered from drug addiction for a bit when I was a child. I remember him taking a bath with me when I was like five years old and he would slap my genitals with his hand and make these sound effects. You know how most parents would tickle their kids when they saw them, well he would stick his finger in my rectum over my clothes. My mother saw him do that one day and went ballistic and he never did it again. As I got older we didn’t have much of a relationship. He became very religious and began to distance himself from anyone and anything that reminded him of who he was in the past and I think that included me. People tend to think I’m this perfect guy who has lived a perfect life and never faced adversity. Little do they know, I just keep things to myself.

        1. ^omg lyfe,
          i’m so sorry.
          i know that was a hard thing to admit to us in the foxhole,
          but i’m glad you shared with us.
          you are not alone.
          it seems many have faced this kind of treatment by the hands of their fathers.
          sometimes,
          their mothers.
          i hope you are able to deal with this so it doesn’t effect you within the future.
          it is very tough,
          but just know you aren’t alone.
          sending you much love and peace.

          1. To be honest Jamari I can honestly say it hasn’t, I think I was more embarrassed than anything. I’m just happy I was able to deal with it and move on from it. My father had other relationships since my mother but he was always very unhappy, even after getting his life together. Part of me thinks he may have been gay and closeted.
            A friend of mine told me that molestation is very common in the Latino community, so I would not be surprised if Aaron was molested by a family member.

  2. May he rest in peace, no one should have to go through this type of treatment, it’s really heartbreaking to have to live a lie. I wish Aaron could have gotten the help and support he needed.

  3. Ugh oh…

    The empath in me feels the sadness for Hernnandez but I can’t overlook the murdering.

    I will say that such allegations will only reenforce the religious duty of combining homosexuality and perversion. Homosexuality is learned behavior and men are not born gay, blah blah…(I honestly don’t believe men (people) are born “gay” or straight, I think there is another hand at work here.)

    Also, current Generations don’t get a sympathy pass. There problem boils down to straight up narcissism and rebellion because they don’t want “boundaries” and they are spolied with technology.

    My story is similar to Hernandez and I’m sure a lot of others are, male and female, molested and raped or have abusive parents. I’ve been teased, backstabbed, bullied, threatened to be murdered, used and everything else….and some time long ago I was a very weak willed person. Not anymore. Whatever you throw at me, online and offline, I’ll either counter it or ignore and conserve my energy for something of value.

    American kids have it easy to be honest with their spoiled mentalities.

    Hard life eh? Try living the life as a foreigner in places like Africa where the crime is three times as high, the rape is even higher (with Aids) alongside the poverty and they will kill you in some places for being gay, oh and add on the fact that in some places they drink, wash clothes and use the bathroom in the same water which is filled with hungry…maneating crocodiles..What a life…😯

    How about India (and even China) where males babies are prized more than females and they take the female babies and stick them in drains, sewers or toss them into pits of hungry animals and they keep doing this until they have a boy. Your husband comes up missing after working in the forest trying to supply for his family..Oh, well he was eaten by a tiger..

    It’s a Casey Anthony case, every other day.

    To me, EVERYONE has a story to tell and we all struggle with something one way or another. Growing up and after the things I’ve been through I learned three things. Some people will love you, some people will hate you but the biggest killer of all is the one who hates himself. He/She has already spolied the ending to the their own book and guess what? The hero dies at the end.

    Hatred will never change in this world. It has been the same and will always be the same from beginning to end. It’s more about how you respond to it and how you prevail against it. Adversity builds character. You just have to be happy and love who you are, not those who expect you to be what they think you are.

    Once you become confident and know who you are, NO ONE can stand in your way and you just live your life to the fullest and to heck with what anyone else has to say.

  4. From the comment section of the DailyMail: “I feel bad for Hernandez’s childhood. But his situation didn’t lead him to become a murderer. So the pity train should make a very early stop.”

    My sentiments exactly…

    1. I don’t know, a lot of serial killers have unresolved issues with their parents and childhood trauma and it influenced their choice to kill. Aaron probably felt helpless as a child but as an adult he felt he had something to prove.

      1. Many children endure circumstances similar to Mr. Hernandez (unfortunately) and the overwhelming majority never resort to murder. He made conscious decisions to participate in killing people, so if his childhood and sexuality were causing him that much trouble he should have sought a mental health specialist, not a gun…

  5. Honestly, I think they should just leave this story alone. Let that man rest in peace as the CTE martyr he appears to be. I don’t know why his shady ass brother is out here exposing his secrets to dailymail of all places to change the narrative. Now I’m wondering just how close Aaron was to him. Did he even leave a letter for this ”brother’?

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