its so heavy in my life rn,
i had to make a playlist of whitney’s gospel tracks and spiritual songs.

truly.
this year has been…

i faced so many disappointments,
especially with things and people i thought i knew.
i can’t even trust when i’m on solid ground anymore.
shit that don’t even make sense either.
just shit going wrong because the devil wants to fuck with me.
i told a friend the other day:

“if this was 2015,
i think i would have broken from all the weight.”

going further back,
i always use to say 2003 was one of the toughest years of my life.
2025 year has cracked me open to force me to pick up the pieces.
this year has broke me open and all the pieces…

i know a wolf that is in his mid 30s.
that same wolf was having sex with a vixen in her early 20s.
it was shortly after his break up from girlfriend of over 5 years.
after he broke up with her,
he was on an all inclusive pussy tour.
so this early 20s vixen was from his job and she was hungry for his meat.
so once he broke up,
he decided to fuck her and well,
the sex was:

“break up/hurt/angry sex” is always ah-mah-zinnng.
they started having sex all the time…

…meanwhile,
she had a wolf of her own btw.
…working at the same job btw.

yeah,
messy bitch city.
anyhoo,
she would always call and text him for sex and he’d give it to her;
in all the ways that was literally reupholstering the insides of her pussy.
she claimed that her man “doesn’t fuck her like this“.
so it seemed like they were vibing and i asked him:

“so would you think about dating her?”

and he responded…

of all the the things people use to witch hunt DL males,
i often laugh at “how he acts” or “what he wears”.
that is amateur hour and i’m in the big leagues of hunting.
so i’ll fill you in one of the biggest signs of being DL is for me…

someone asked me the other day:

“would you go to the funeral of someone who was once a friend, ex, or even a relative but ya’ll fell out years ago?”

my answer:

“NOPE.”

my friend was confused at the lack of empathy in my answer.
my thought…

last night,
i had a huge panic attack.
the last time i had one of those was at my last job back in 2019,
where i was looking like a malnourished twink.
the only time i get panic attacks is when i’m severely stressed out.
in this last week of october in 2025…

i am severely stressed out again.

“What did it feel like?”

i was asked that today.
it felt like…

aunt wendy taught me how to be media trained without her knowing.
there is some shit you say/font out loud and other shit you keep at the kitchen table.

kitchen table talk (v): when you are spilling tea with your people with the intentions of it staying between ya’ll and Jesus.

that is when you spill that you fucked someone and it was terrible or mind blowing,
or my personal fav:
“YOU FUCKED HIM?!?!?”

that being fonted i have A LOT of kitchen table font with my Foxholers.
i always ask if i can share because sometimes the tea is PIPIN’.
that being fonted:

many males,
especially straights,
love to talk and font for brownie points outside of kitchen table talk.

(ex)-boxing jackal,
adrien broner,
has allegedly fucked a lot of pretty attentionistas it seems.
he decided to expose everyone he fucked on his IG with “the toxic test“…