i’ll never forget something cousin hybrid said to me last year.

“jamari,
there are males out here who work out,
look good,
and what you are looking for; they own companies,
CEOS,
successful and are not on IG acting like prissy bitches in high school.”

it is making more sense to me we close out 2025.
outside of looks or “masculinity”,
there was something else i was looking for that i couldn’t explain.
i have encountered it once or twice and it made me feel hot.
all the vixens were fonting about a recent “actors on actors” discussion.
it was with jonathan bailey (fiyero from wicked) and david corenswet (superman) and i’ll be 110%…

a hermit crab knows when its shell has stopped being a home.

it leaving its shell is often a sign of a stressful event or poor living conditions. the walls that once protected start to press in, the space that once felt safe becomes too small, too loud, and too heavy. so it does the unthinkable: it steps out. alone, exposed, unsure… but certain that staying cramped is worse than facing open water.

so the process of moving succcccccckkkkkkkkkkks.
the beginning phase of:

keep
donate
trash

…is so tiring.
although i discovered a few things about myself…

i had my housing meeting this morning about my apartment.
another chapter in this long running saga since october.
it has been stress and anxiety since then.
i woke up early,
sat across from the board,
along with my landlord across from me.
after over 15 years in the same walls,
the verdict landed with perfect holiday timing…

i did something yesterday that is still sitting with me.
for the life of me,
i don’t know WHY i did it but it happened…

for all of us who watched “scandal”,
“house of cards”,
and “the 2024 election”,
we know how cutthroat politics can be.
with this following story,
i don’t know if i should be on the side of justice or “all heros don’t wear capes”.
above is gilles artigues,
a former deputy and roman catholic in france,
who was known for speaking out against gay marriage.
his rival and french mayor,
gaël perdriau,
wanted to show the french forests that he may not have approved of gay marriage but…

you ever peeped those people who were doing nothing and looked like they were going nowhere?
they were stagnant and literally spent their days on the couch or playing video games.
suddenly,
a shift happened,
and that “stagnant” life is in the rear view mirror.

i think some people end up thriving after being stagnant tbh.
i was always taught that if i wasn’t doing something,
if i wasn’t moving like everyone else,
that i was a failure at life.
i see it with a lot of people tbh.

if they aren’t on,
they feel off.

…but i’ve learned a lesson time and time again,
especially right now in my life…