for a while,
i thought i was asexual.
not that there is nothing wrong with being asexual,
but in the gay/bi/and tri forests,
fucking randomly and recklessly is almost everyone’s calling card.
the thing is…

i didn’t think i was all the way asexual.

meaning: i love sex and i’m highly attracted to other males,
but i don’t really like hook ups even though i have done them.
i only had one hook up that was amazing but he made is extremely comfortable.

i’m not fuckin in the middle of a sex party
not even getting smashed by some random at the gym
there will be no sex in the champagne room

i’ve had my ho-ish moments in the past,
and tbh a lot of it was trying to be like star fox (RIP),
so i’m not some virgin but i do get turned on by:

the chase
the anticipation
the mental and emotional stimulation
the tension
the teasing
the eye contact
the “we shouldn’t be doing this but i want to do this”

my fantasies run very hot.
i like connections; not proximity.
this is why sex apps never worked for me like others.
so i’ve come to accept…

someone i use to know told me something that lives rent free in my head:

“when you blindly support someone,
or take money to only say/font good things,
when they do something that you don’t agree with,
you will HAVE to continue saying and supporting them.”

this is why i try to stay neutral and objective on The Foxhole,
even with celebs or attentionistos i like/lust.
ever since the file cabinet has started being released,
i see many blind supporting jackals starting to switch sides.
some of these folks however,
like megyn kelly,
have shown us how far she has sold her soul…

someone shared a story with me recently and i wanted to share it with you.
its for all of those who are going through something,
or maybe you aren’t and like positivity shit.

when we look back in our lives,
we don’t realize things that go wrong help us in the future.

i have experienced shit going wrong and in the present moment,
i won’t even act like i don’t have a meltdown.
i’m asking if i’m cursed or if God hates me.
when i see how it helped or revealed something in the future,
in a few occasions helping me avoid danger,
i learned that maybe it all happened for a reason.
so this story is called,
“maybe” by alan watts,
and “maybe” someone in The Foxhole needed to read this story today…

i know a wolf that is in his mid 30s.
that same wolf was having sex with a vixen in her early 20s.
it was shortly after his break up from girlfriend of over 5 years.
after he broke up with her,
he was on an all inclusive pussy tour.
so this early 20s vixen was from his job and she was hungry for his meat.
so once he broke up,
he decided to fuck her and well,
the sex was:

“break up/hurt/angry sex” is always ah-mah-zinnng.
they started having sex all the time…

…meanwhile,
she had a wolf of her own btw.
…working at the same job btw.

yeah,
messy bitch city.
anyhoo,
she would always call and text him for sex and he’d give it to her;
in all the ways that was literally reupholstering the insides of her pussy.
she claimed that her man “doesn’t fuck her like this“.
so it seemed like they were vibing and i asked him:

“so would you think about dating her?”

and he responded…

of all the the things people use to witch hunt DL males,
i often laugh at “how he acts” or “what he wears”.
that is amateur hour and i’m in the big leagues of hunting.
so i’ll fill you in one of the biggest signs of being DL is for me…

so i watched the “wicked for good” trailer and bawled.

the young me,
that frowned every time karaoke played the broadway soundtrack for the original “wicked”,
would judged at the current me.
tbh:

i hate i didn’t get into wicked sooner.

back then,
i was so concerned with fitting into spaces that never welcomed me,
i really missed a story that reflected my life back to me.

it’s funny how the things we react when we are ashamed of ourselves,
eventually come back to heal or teach us a lesson.

when i watched the first “wicked” movie last year,
i didn’t expect to relate to “the green one” so deeply…