superheroes usually bore me.
i’m not a fan of the “captain americas” and “wonder womans” of the comic world.
i have always been a fan of villains and antiheroes.
they always have a cool backstory and their costumes are usually dope af.
it’s usually someone who was hurt or bullied and their trauma turned them “bad”.
the only superheroes i actually love are batman and spiderman,
both are conflicted with their own trauma and loss.
batman could be a villain after his trauma but he struggles to be different.
last night,
or this morning rather,
i woke up out of my sleep for whatever reason.
at 5 am,
i started watching one of my favorite batman movies…

Continue reading “accountability | september 7th” →

new yawk is a tough city,
but it’s one of those states that can’t take too much damage with the weather.
we not like texas or florida up here.
any strong gust of wind and the national guard is called.
even with too much snow,
it can fuck us up.
new yawk is built for light mood swings by mother nature.
we can’t deal with her full-blown temper tantrums like how she do down south.
i knew it was gonna rain,
but i didn’t think it was gonna feel like i was in a whirlpool…

Continue reading “new yawk tough… until mother nature is on her period” →

my friends always come through for me.
i’m super emotionally connected to those in my life.

Sometimes to those who aren’t in my life any longer too.

i’ve been going through it tbh.
this is not my season.
things are rough right now and trying to keep my head above water.
earlier,
i was in deep thought while eating chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.
one of my favorite twitch streamers was venting over his mother’s cancer.
it made me feel like i’m not the only one dealing with nonsense.
as i was into this whole thing,
my phone rang and i saw it was diva.
i let it ring because i didn’t feel like talking.
she called right after and i figured it must be really important…

Continue reading “if you can, don’t let being emo make you miss an important call” →

when he pulled it out,
at that moment,
i could actually feel it growing inside me.
the soreness i felt confirmed it all.
i was impregnated and i could feel it taking shape already.
i felt it fertilizing my bloodstream.
my dna was changing.
the rebirth was happening.
everything they warned us about was starting…

Continue reading “i was sore, tired af, but it was activated (the second time)” →

so that time between that first deep seeding went by quickly.
i can’t believe 2 weeks have passed already but i am here.

I get my second jab tomorrow.

and i’ll be 110 with you foxhole…

Continue reading “it’s time for me to get another deep seeding where i’ll be sore and tired” →

perspective.
i’ve been listening to aaliyah’s “one in a million” album since its release last week.
it made me listen to other 90s teen r&b around that era too.
if you’re on the ig foxhole,
you can tell i’m down the rabbit hole with my stories.
aaliyah’s 20th death anniversary was yesterday and i still cannot believe its been that long.

My mother died the same year.
9/11 was the same year too.

even through all those events,
i’m still here even when i thought i would have killed myself a long time ago.
of course,
with any death anniversary,
i went down the rabbit hole of aaliyah’s short life and death.
i saw this clip of dame dash,
her ex,
from an et memorial special yesterday…

Continue reading “aaliyah’s death was truly a butterfly effect for many of us” →