this morning after a wonderful weekend,
i come back to reality and under the brad pitt entry:

“You are a 43 year old man. Grow the fuck up and settle down already. Give the young black gays something to aspire to. Ain’t you tired Jimmy? Go watch some CraigTheWriter videos on YouTube and get your shit together. Old ass queens make me fucking sick.”

ouch!
i JUST wrote about mikayla raines taking her own life over online bullying.
what a way to be an example a week later.
it was from screen name “YN“.
this didn’t feel like it was coming from a young n!gga tho.
the wording felt like an old gay pineapple projecting his venom on me.
so let’s break this down…

i was entertaining a certain wolf of interest these last few months.
keyword: WAS in all caps,
bolded,
underlined,
and possibly lit on fire.

he had me tight a few days ago and still hasn’t heard from me.
i haven’t called to “talk about it”,
no texts to check in,
or not even a “hope you’re well” after the extended silence.

When I’m done,
I’m fuckin done.

yesterday,
i shared my thoughts on that jackal who went off on lala anthony over a parking spot.
he took the petty express lane and decided to drag her name,
her current manz,
and even a few of her old industry bones into the mix.
it was messy but more importantly,
it made me realize something about myself…

sometimes,
we can handle the harassment and bullying.
you don’t even need to be a public figure:

Imagine how it is for many people at work being bullied and harassed by bosses?
Feeling weak and hopeless because that is how you make money.
It’s not like you can escape because you need that job to survive,
along with the fact it’s hard to find a job atm.

when people catch you during difficult times in your life,
that is when it can really enhance mental health issues.
depression turns into a black hole with thoughts of final answers.
the following is when i nearly un-alived myself over online bullying…

*This post contains discussion of suicide, suicidal thoughts, and/or self-harm. Please take care of your mental and emotional well-being before proceeding. If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. Help is available:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US): Dial 988
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• International resources: www.befrienders.org

This content is shared for awareness, reflection, and healing—not to glorify, encourage, or trivialize mental health struggles. Reader discretion is advised...

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i used to think having a platform was just about sharing your voice,
building a little digital tribe,
and maybe posting a few thirst traps to ride some dick.
here’s what no one really tells or fonts you:
once you start getting noticed,
you also become something else.

A moving target.

people love the fairy tale parts of being a public figure.
the engagement,
the admiration,
and the “omg i love your content!” comments.
there’s a shadow side that doesn’t get posted on the highlight reel.
let’s font what i’ve learned about it…

because whew...

over the weekend,
i was hanging out with my wolf friend and he said:

“Damn,
that vixen you don’t fuck with anymore mother passed away.”

we are mutuals with this particular vixen.
his response to my response was the legit surprised pikachu face…

I had to ask myself this weekend if I’m a fake azz fuckin’ bitch.

there are some people who have blamed me for things but little did they know:

They did something to me but instead of addressing it,
I kept my mouth shut to “keep the peace”.

i learned “keeping the peace” as a survival mechanism.
i peeped how they moved and i learned to adjust accordingly.
some people i distanced myself from; others i learned i can’t tell them certain things.
honestly:

That is how I lost my last job.

my last boss threw me under the bus for something i didn’t do,
so i bowled their ass under there for the same thing they did to me.
the look of shock on their face in-front of their boss brought me so much joy tbh.
i was sick of her shit.

But in all of my disappointment with other people,
I never did what Doja Cat did when she met one of her fans.

this right here…