Category: A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI
i didn’t get in with stanford (and now i have to watch someone else get accepted)
imagine that you wanted to get into stanford.
from your gpa and transcripts,
there is nothing that says you can’t get into that college.
you went on a college tour and you liked everything about it.
not only that,
it would look good for future jobs and careers.
so you send in your application and you wait.
well,
you get a response back and…
Continue reading “i didn’t get in with stanford (and now i have to watch someone else get accepted)”
the new story of “i destroyed it all and rebuilt everything in my vision”
I am in the midst of a comeback foxhole.
i feel like i fell tf off within this last year.
physically,
i may have looked good and been taking care of myself,
but i’ve been battling struggles within.
i was feeling like shit earlier,
woke up all sad ‘n’ shit,
but something came over me and i said…
Continue reading “the new story of “i destroyed it all and rebuilt everything in my vision””
“my daughter might be a lesbian”
some parents aren’t prepared to handle the tough situations involving their kids.
it drives me crazy when i see people think kids are for entertainment purposes and social media flexing.
“OMG Timmy!
Go put on that little costume and do that little dance for the neighbors!
You know the one I make you do because you’re my little circus animal!”
having kids is more than that.
it’s a huge responsibility that many aren’t ready for and honestly shouldn’t have.
they be cute until they start rebelling on that ass.
yesterday,
i got a call early from a friend who was dealing with an issue with their kid.
she wanted advice because her daughter was searching porn on her youtube account…
let that “dream” go
i’m learning that when i really want something,
i have to let it go.
sometimes for my own sanity at least.
i have a tendency to get obsessed with things i want…
wolves i want…
a life that i want…
i think about it a lot and try to stay optimistic,
but the doubts in my mind will find ways to be pessimistic.
i was sent a post from tinsahe about getting what she desired after she detached.
it really inspired me…
wipe the emotional (reset) slate clean
when our electronics are moving funky,
it usually helps to turn them off and on again.
if they’re acting like real assholes,
you need to do a full reset.
my emotional hard drive has been moving like a real asshole.
my sleep pattern was all fucked up because of it.
i was going to bed early but waking up at like 4 or 5 am.
throughout the day,
i was throwing up when i started feeling anxious,
which included the early morning hours when i woke up.
i was mixing different kinds of pills to help me sleep.
benadryl,
cbd oil,
and melatonin concoctions and still wasn’t sleeping correctly.
all it did was make me groggy and sleepy in the day.
i wasn’t doing anything my therapist was recommending.
there was no motivation for life and the betterment of myself period.
Yo favorite fox was struggling silently out here.
you never know what people are going through and shamed to admit.
so i decided i had a problem and…
i don’t do the “i like him, but i’m scared of my attraction to other males” types of headaches
i’m very lenient on males who realize they’re attracted to other males,
unlike others.
don’t get me wrong,
some shit makes my head spin around in disgust,
but other things i don’t attack as fast as others.
i’ve been there as being someone who was attracted to other males,
but terrified in allowing myself to feel those feelings.
What will my family think?
What will the people in Barbados think?
What will people that are around me think?
Will I be shunned and ostracized?
no matter the age,
it can be a culture shock and huge life adjustment especially with all the “rules” within this life.
it’s very scary,
but this is one thing i won’t tolerate…
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