i’m gonna font it:

many of The Foxhole are on point when they say these males are for sales.

…or even down for some fun but the reality is:

right place; right time
luck
trust
you can’t be a messy bitch and expect to be treated fairly

messy bitches get messy behavior.
lastly and those with this super power:

“i believe you won’t do anything to fuck up my life”

you have the “unassuming” energy that makes people comfortable.
i believe this is me,
which can be a gift and curse.
so yesterday,
i woke up but i didn’t have the best morning.
i had breakfast,
slept off and on,
and ended up having phone sex with an attentionisto…

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...and if this new meat turns out to be more,
and he isn’t a jackal or hyena in wolf fur,
i’m gonna let him fuck me because i reallllllllly need to get fucked.

whoops,
was that too bold?
welcome to my The Foxhole to those who are new.
so i met someone and the way he was looking at me…

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when we move from chaos to much safer ground,
for many of us,
it can leave us still in “fight or flight” mode.
we start scanning for danger when nothing is happening.
it can actually make you feel really fuckin’ nuts.
that is how i’ve been lately…

nowadays,
corny for me is:

the over saturation of the self absorbed.

it’s the posing,
lightweight advertising,
but having absolutely no other redeemable traits outside of that.
worst of all:

using sex to sell an OF,
promoting private videos for sale,
and scamming…

…and got the audacity to be rude in DMS.

like,
what?
many of the vixens have a corniness to them too.

posing half naked,
showing and throwing ass,
getting pregnant,
and confused why they’re fucked and dumped for someone doing less than that.

anyone using body parts and sex can attract anyone.
none of these people are keeping em past a few months,
lucky if they go a year.
i learned very quickly after the following i find baller wolf,
russell wilson,
to be extremely sexy when many people have labeled him as “corny”…

who is the safe space for the safe space?

yesterday,
i met up with someone here for the second time.
we met during the super bowl party and she latched onto me heavy.
she seems really cool,
but i’m learning to keep my distance until i feel safe.
that’s either the cancer or the hurt i haven’t fully let go of in me.
we went to take a walk since it was nice outside,
but she had to run back to her place to get something.
when we got there,
i stayed outside and waited for her to come back out.
she told me to come in.

“are you sure?” i asked.

“yeah, come on in.” she responded.

so i did and then i saw…

after a long dry spell,
and a few people who came in too fast and disappeared just as quickly,
i’m re-learning how to open up again while being emotionally sore.

on super bowl sunday,
i was invited to a party at this new place i’m in.
i’ve been here about a month now and i’ve started mingling.
well tbh,
people started mingling with me.
one thing about me is:

people want access to me and get comfortable fast.

i don’t know if it’s my energy,
my softness,
or the way i make people feel safe but it happens.

so i met a straight couple downstairs last week,
and after about an hour of talking,
they told me to come through to this party they were having.
honestly?
it was so much fun.
being around new people reminded me of who i am,
how easily i connect,
and how much i enjoy meeting new wolves…
uh,
people.
meeting new people.

after the high has come down,
i find myself paused on all of it at 411am…