well where is he?
i thought jason collins was suppose to open the door for the gays?
he seems to have gone missing from his duties.
jason collins ex fiance,
carolyn moos,
is getting more publicity than he is these days.
she is still “hurt” by his down low ways and telling everyone with an ear.
who didn’t see this coming?
well she got her a nice spread in cosmopolitan to talk about it…

I remember feeling overwhelmed with joy and also thinking: finally. I was almost 30. In the air on the way home, I saw my future unfolding before me. I pictured our family: intelligent, athletic, tall, dynamic. I could hardly wait to get off the plane to start making plans for the wedding. Soon after, Jason and I moved in together in L.A. We cooked at home and enjoyed having barbecues. We discussed our future plans, agreeing that we both wanted children. I felt grounded in the knowledge that he wanted kids. Family is very important to me.

A year later, he canceled the wedding, throwing me into a tailspin. Up to that point, everything I’d ever wanted, I had achieved through hard work and sheer determination. When I couldn’t get answers from Jason on what had gone wrong, I questioned myself and what I could have done better or differently. I should have been questioning him, but I didn’t think to do so at all. In the years that followed, I dated other men, I built up my business, I had a full life. But when it came to Jason, deep sadness and confusion remained.

The phone call this April ended the mystery. He left a message on a Sunday, saying, “I have something important to talk about—please call me back.” I was working and called the next morning. He uttered an eerily familiar phrase: “You may want to sit down.” Then he said, “Carolyn, I’m gay.” I was stunned. I managed to say, after a silent moment and then a deep breath, “I had no idea. I’m sure a huge weight is off your shoulders.” During all the years I had known him, I never would have guessed that he would come out as gay.

We talked again briefly that night. He answered a few questions, but there was much left to discuss and he said he had to go. As I tell this story, it has been several weeks since he told me his news and he has made no further time to talk, despite saying he would do so. I am sad that the media seems to be a higher priority. I hope this changes in the coming weeks, as I value open dialogue more than anything.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to go through all the stages he has gone through, all the deep layers. I don’t know what it’s like to wear a mask for 34 years. It’s sad that society puts that kind of pressure on a person. I also understand the macho stereotypes men face in the NBA. I ran up against a reverse stereotype in the WNBA: People said I was too “feminine” to be a pro player. I quickly proved them wrong, showing that my nail polish and dresses had nothing to do with my ability to compete on the court.

I empathize with Jason and support him. But at the same time, I remain deeply hurt by him. I wish he could have been honest with me years ago. I feel like there are two Jasons now—the man I fell in love with and the man I’m trying so hard to understand. He’s being hailed as a pioneer, but I believe true heroism is a result of being honest with yourself and with those you love.

Today, I am 35 years old and dating. I have a great life. I train pro athletes and high school kids, and I work at athletic camps with at-risk children. I’m writing a book that I hope will help other women. I froze my eggs last week as a backup plan. It’s an empowering option, something I had been planning to do for some time. I realized recently that maybe I had put it off because there was some seed of hope that Jason might come back to me. It’s hard to admit that. But I face up to issues—I run toward them one hundred miles an hour.

What I have learned is that my mistake was in thinking, “What did I do wrong?” I did nothing wrong. I was true to myself. I understand now that you can never truly know what’s going on in the mind of another person, no matter how well you think you know them. But you do know yourself. Be your own cheerleader. Trust in yourself.

READ FULL ARTICLE: COSMOPOLITAN

on one side i feel for her.
you can’t deny why she would be hurt.
seems like she was the stand in for his real partner.
imagine all the emotions she invested in this wolf?
don’t lie like some of us never experienced this within dating.
on the other side,
she is going to milk this.
i’m sure her team said “turn on the tears too”.
america will drink it up because she is a snow bunny.
fellow vixens will take her side.
a scarlet red “A” will be branded on his chest.
if i said i didn’t see this coming,
i would be lying…

i wonder if he will come out of hiding with a response?
pun intended.

photo credit: sports illustrated / cosmopolitan