We as humans are naturally prone to defend ourselves.
When we get into an argument,
our shields are up,
sword in place,
gun is in the holster,
and we are ready for combat.
First swing: What they have done to us!
Second swing: Why we think they did it to us!
Third swing: How what they did made us feel!
Last swing: Where we will be when THEY are ready to apologize!
You should be always ready to defend yourself.
As a Fox, you do not take ANY shit.
But sometimes when a Wolf you are interested in makes a mistake,
one of which does not cater to our egos,
or we over-analyze something to pieces,
we feed him to the past Wolves.
Thus turning him off and sending us to The Island of the Lonely Foxes.
And unless we are all the new carpet munchers for 2012,
I need a STRONG WOLF in my life.
Are we simply just going from Foxes… to bitches?
After careful reconsideration, not EVERYTHING is the Wolves fault.
I know.
You read right.
When we get into these arguments, we always want to show why WE are right.
But we never stop to think that maybe we are wrong and being too emotional.
As men, a Wolf does not want to deal with the same shit a Vixen would do.
Nagging and being overly sensitive.
Expecting him to cater to our feelings.
Feeling needy and wanting attention.
Attacking him when he is trying to be left alone.
Throwing darts as he leaves us alone.
Blowing up his phone and texts demanding an answer.
All things a Vixen does.
As men, although we take a submissive route,
we need to go about things a little different.
First off, we need to communicate a lot better.
We expect him to chase us.
But guess what?
He doesn’t have to chase SHIT and he may just end up chasing another Foxhole.
He is a Wolf who has a lot more Foxes to choose from.
He can easily drop you and move onto another.
So it is best to hit him up and lay all your feelings out.
And I know you want to call him names but CHILL.
Secondly, we should always give him space when things are heated.
Do NOT talk to him or ask him what is wrong.
Just leave him alone.
Hell, you go out there and have some fun.
Let the Wolf cool off and he will hit you back.
Finally, do not always say “well you did…” or use attacking words and sentences.
Listen to him.
He may be helping you grow as a better Fox.
He is just on the defensive as you are.
If he taking the time to explain his point,
he is pretty much interested in you.
Wolves who will dismiss you are not that emotionally invested with you.
So do not run.
Do not make a scene.
Or, do not give an attitude UNLESS he really fucked up.
COMMUNICATE and DO NOT OVER-ANALYZE.
Your Wolf should feel like he is fucking with his best friend.
Not his wife.
So now that you know this bit of info,
what do you plan on doing with it?
December in the Foxhole will be LOOK IN THE MIRROR month.
Today is the first day on the last day.
Class is in session.
We are all the teachers.
I am definitely learning as you are.
By the time we get to January,
we should be ready to face the world (and these Wolves) a little bit better.
Next Stop: THE BEST FOXES TO EVER DO IT… and DO HIM.
OMG thanks for finally looking at things from our point of view. I see you have been paying attention
^i have.
trust me, i have.
it took a while but i see what you all have been talking about.
Just know that like you can’t discipline all kids the same, all people have different ways of dealing w/their problems. It may not be your method, but if it works, then…hey. Not to say that it’s ‘my way or the highway’ all the time, just know that if you’re an extrovert & your boy isn’t…he may speak his mind differently. It all comes down to the actions, though – they will show how serious he is…
OMG007 did the same thing deleted my grindr and jakcd account. Met this one cute wolf but he acted like he couldnt talk and i was getting tired of these short ass answers i had to carry the conversation. I was like” Im over this Im in Atlanta, it cant be too hard to find a decent wolf” so i know what you mean
Thank you i think we have our perfect wolf in our mind and every other just dosent compare. But atleast you live in a city where things happen I’m in a small country city do I have less to choose from
I honestly don’t have much to change, I’m very easy to get along with, I have a good job, I’m clean, I can cook… But where I fall short is that I’m an extrovert, and it always causes tense situations…I have a lot of friends, I love going out and this causes problems because I prefer a much more low key wolf… So when he withdraws I go, I don’t give a fuck … And there my issue lies…
^i can see where that will be an issue.
Good start thinking about it I just need w wolf to go through this with lol. But I can cope with 1 when I find one. I’m trying the personal way I’ve deleted my a4a and grinder so I can meet someone real and in person. All I’ve been meeting were sheeps in wolf clothing online
^have they been attractive?
or just blah?
i met this fine vanilla wolf but he turned out to be a potential snoozer…
They have been… Nothing. I guess it’s the area I live in but the wolves are slim to nine. And all these flagrant foxes get on my nerves they 1 of the reasons I deleted all my accounts
Well I guess I could tone it down just a bit, a lil bit.
Glad you’re starting to see…
*sits on side w/popcorn waiting for the inevitable arguments between KB & Vain to start*
Well I agree with most of what was said though. This is all under the premise of a relationship and the wolf actually wanting to be in one and make it work. I can get with that.
Tell him how you feel, when you feel it. Be clear. Be concise. The point being that you get your point across without him being able to say he didn’t know. Listen to his point of view and see if he has a point or if it makes sense at all. But you are not a “bitch” for having feelings or emotions. You go wrong when you expect him to see things from your point of view when you just finished shoving it down his throat. If you’ve explained it once and it isn’t resolved, decide whether or not its a “deal breaker” and go from there. If it isn’t, suck it up and keep it moving and recognize that there is an issue there that may or may not come up again. If it is you must let him know that and end the relationship and cut off contact completely. Sure, give him space to “cool off” and come back to it later. Don’t blow up his phone or yell at him because it will push him further and further away. Wolves do not like confrontation and will avoid it all costs.
HOWEVER do not allow him to manipulate or “penalize” you through withdrawing communication. This tends to happen a lot. Recognize that if he cools off and does not want to talk about it and “just move on” then he is someone who will press the “reset button” and start over from a place where its like nothing happened and your feelings do not matter. That is NOT someone you want to be with.
^i feel you.
do you think that you can actually do these things?
not you but in general…
because in the heat of the moment,
you can say the wrong thing,
blow up someone’s phone,
and want that “attention” you have craved.
^ya know Wolfie,
I have seen the light and it nearly blinded me.
BUT… we are all going to help each other.
don’t worry,
the Wolves will have a moment in the spotlight too.
I hope to see you in class…
Agreed, I will in this year ending begin to do better. Thanks for letting be see this. I am guilty of this on a couple ways, I need to be less aggressive and more reasonable.