well work wolf just left my crib.
i feel some kind of way.
maybe i’m being silly.
i’m sure i’m stupid.
i don’t know…
so work wolf came over at like 4ish.
he was wearing sweats,
a t shirt,
and some nice kicks.
everything looked and fit him good.
when he got in the door,
he complimented me on my crib and how clean it was.
“oh this is how you livin j?”
yup.
shit i cleaned that mofo up real good last night.
i was scrubbing and mopping at like 1230am.
i had mi helping as well.
there was a lot of eye contact and his voice was much lower than usual.
he was talking to me in this real sexy tone.
it felt bolder than when we are at work.
i noticed he grabbed his dick when he turned around to get his bag.
he even lifted up his shirt to show me his abs.
the whole thing was a mess for my damn emotions.
while we worked on the project,
he sat really close to me.
he also smelled so good.
i felt a contact high just from his scent.
he asked me if i was hungry.
i was.
he ordered chinese food for the both of us.
i asked if he wanted me to pay.
“no jamari.
not at all.”
we ate and kept on working.
at the end of it,
he said:
“i’m gonna come over here when you least expect.”
“you better call first.”
“nah i won’t.”
“then you gonna be outside.”
“nah you know you gonna let me in.”
“we’ll see.”
“mmhmm.”
he thanked me for helping him when he his cab came.
“baby boy…
yes he called me baby boy…
…ima have a big surprise for you for all this help.”
“oh i like surprises.”
ima keep it all the way:
i can sit here and deny my attraction to him,
because its the “right thing to do”,
but i can’t.
i hate that i’m even in this position of feeling like this.
in my “cold” stance,
i didn’t want to initiate anything,
but i started to warm up and let my guard down.
i mean i know this isn’t my imagination.
i appreciate his friendship,
and i don’t want to fuck anything up,
but my mind is all fucked up.
i don’t want to lose his friendship.
he is such a good person to me.
ugh.
this all sucks.
this all sucks i say!
lowkey: new vixen texted him a few times while he was here.
he rolled his eyes and ignored her.
i hate when guys do that. either he likes you and is low keys flirting or he knows you know him and is lowkey flirting.
knows you like him, my bad
Wait on it hunny, nice and steady. as much as you want to exchange ecstasy faces, treat him like a “friend”. less is more at this point. trust us. we’ve all been there
Tread lightly Jamari. But, if your intuition is correct then this will be INTERESTING.
J,
I’ve been there before–DONT INITIATE, EVER. Because as soon as you do, you make the mistake of killing the friendship. He’ll say its all cool and good, but he’ll curve you from that point on.
Given that your his FIRST GAY FRIEND he’s probably not even aware of the “waters” in how to interact with you. You’ve stated before that he’s called you an old girlfriend or something. It’s the same way vixens get close to gay men after they’re comfortable with them not sexualizing them. Hell, look how you and Mi turned out.
I’m not saying there isn’t attraction there, but its always best if and when he’s ready to explore that he initiate. Besides, I’m not sure if you’re a size queen, but the sex could be whack and then you’re turned off, but now he’s your little puppy constantly following you around. Who wants/needs that?
BoL
Yeah my “work boo” which is the name he’s known by to my few close friends, is a fucking trip. The flirty things he does and says to me when we are at work fucks my head up.
1. The always touching me when talking to me; he doesn’t do that to any other male nor any female.
2. Commenting on my gear and how I smell good. Saying stuff like; I want those pants..I’m going to take those pants off you and then grabbed at them (AT WORK.)
3. I mentioned that I needed a snack so he sends me a text “COME GET IT”; I didn’t respond. I know that fucked him up but I just can’t.
4. At a Happy hour function; he got a couple drinks in him and he was literally so close to me the entire time it was uncomfortable; everytime I tried to create personal space he would get closer again.
Just to name a few. What turns me on about him is his bold confidence (not cocky) and the fact that he’s educated multiple degrees like myself but with swag; “educated swag”. Oh well!!!
Reminds me of RuPaul Drag Race Courtney Act ‘True Colours’ monologue.. “0:00- 2:42” & “04:37- 5:30”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1QXxEbs238
Hi, I find dealing with Bi guys and DL much more emotionally confusing – just for the plain fact in the back of your head you will always be wondering if your competing with “a girl”- BUT WHO KNOWS- You can’t control someone feelings & emotions you could be the one for him- but it’ll always be easier for Bi & DL guys to say they like girls and will settle for one. They haven’t had to deal with declaring they are gay..
This always reminds me of a Glee episode. When a straight girl and gay guy love the same guy.. it’s a bitchy/hard/difficult/oddly-written episode from a gay writer/director to do.
“She says that she has a better chance of dating Finn because she is a girl. He says there are both kidding themselves”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERmK0gHdz3M
JFree…they’re only emotionally confusing if they don’t state their intentions upfront. I am very clear to gay/bi dudes that I like women in addition to men. When I mess with guys, I don’t mess with females at the same time…and vice versa. It makes for a less confusing scenario. Sadly, that can’t be said for the ones I’ve dealt with. They try to play the player role…and fail miserably. LOL
The last guy I messed around with tried to mess with me a his baby mama at the same time. He thought that what he did/said to her would go over with me. It didn’t happen that way. He wasn’t used to people telling him no…until he met me.
Also, it’s the mentality and intelligence level of the person that you’re dealing with. Some guys are not emotionally mature, and still try to act like a teenager. Those are the ones to avoid because they’re about self gratification first and foremost. Nothing or no one else matters.
Hey jamari, I think it’s cool your coworker came thru your crib today. If he likes u let him make all the moves. U don’t want to mess up a good friendship . He maybe testing the waters or just flirtatious w ppl in private. Remember he knows how u get down. He is comfortable at this time because your just his friend! I want you to protect your heart at all cost. Emotions are a motherfucker, and I don’t want to see u get hurt! Work or school crushes are the worst especially if it’s not reciprocate by the other party. Stay strong be smart!
Jamari, does he have any way of knowing about your website?
^nope.
that is true. life is funny sometimes. LOL
just keep being u!!!
i know a lot of people say that good guys come in last, but i don’t subscribe to that philosophy. good guys can sleep at night!!! 🙂
@Des…when you said “you treat some people nice, with respect and they don’t know what to do or how to act” man did you hit the nail on the head! It’s amazing the comments and looks you get…ESPECIALLY from dudes, when you do something nice for them. I remember last year when we had exceptionally hot summer days, I asked the mailman (good lookin’ brutha with dreads) if he wanted a bottle of water. I mean it was hot and humid as fuck, and he was sweatin’ bullets. You would’ve thought I asked him to get butt ass naked! He didn’t come out and say it, but his look said it all. I laughed and said you’re safe homie, and he actually had a look of relief come over his face, and accepted the water. LOL
A couple of days later he thanked me again for the water, and he also told me that there were a few women and men that had come on to him quite often. He said that he felt he needed to explain because of my reaction and comment.
It’s sad that you can’t do something nice without people making assumptions.
OMFG its fucking WATER!!! I just can’t with some people. But it’s really sad.
Jamari, I’ll pray for you to develop the strength to withstand his advances. It’s obvious you really like him as more than just a friend. But I can’t help but be concerned for you. I am totally against workplace romances. If things go awry, then you are stuck in the mess that was created. I feel that the relationship between the two of you is on automatic pilot, and the destination is yet unknown. Be careful. All of us are more concerned about your well-being than a potential roll in the hay with work wolf.
But I’m not surprised by what you are going through. You come off as a sensitive and sincere man with a lot of love to give. And it appears that he is falling for you. I don’t comment very often, but I always wanted to convey to you that constantly denying your passions and desires for love will make you very vulnerable. You need to venture out more and develop relationships with other gay men. I’m not saying you should have sex with multiple people, but you should let others soak up some of the love you have building up inside you. Work wolf has become the focal point of that desire to share your inner self with others. Don’t let yourself weaken under his spell. I would much rather hear about you being in a good place in life rather than the heartbreak resulting from you and work wolf hooking up.
I am sure this whole situation is shaping up to be quite a dilemma.
I agree
Relax. You’re doing everything right. Keep being his friend. And since he knows already, you can now make tongue in cheek comments( not too many). Inside jokes so to speak. And he’s a crafty one. But all that is just to get your attention. Trust me. Been there. Done that. On both ends. Arrrgh! I love this damn blog! Lol.
OMG I can’t take it and I’m not even the one in the position lol!!
Damn J, I loved you descriptive writing, I felt like a fly on the wall of your crib. Papo you need to fucking RELAX and STOP overthinking it. Friendships are not built overnight, anything worth having is worth the wait. I mean, I don’t know his backstory but the situation so far from you perspective seems legit and cool. This situation really resonates with me and my current “work boo” saga. The once clear difference is my sexuality is ambiguous to him. I haven’t told him I am gay and a recent situation unfolded at work where I now question his level of maturity and trust when something was told to him in confidence and he shared it. I’ve worked with him for over a year and a half, we’ve spent time outside of work. My attraction to him is real but I can never go there. He is straight, he has a girl back home (he’s from another country) and he is always talking about fucking chicks BUT some of the stuff he does makes me question his CURIOUSITY. One day he said something under his breath as I was walking back to my desk. I turned around and caught him grining from ear to ear and I asked, ‘What did you say?’. His response was, “Umm nothing” all the while smiling. After the incident at work I have pulled back; no initiated personal texting, and his texts are met with delayed one-word responses. It seems the more I pull back the more he proceeds. I really think he enjoys the attention and I am removing that from the equation. Reason being, the reality of it is, we work together, we could never be more than that, I could never go there with him which sucks because I find myself thinking about him when I know I shouldn’t AND when he close talks to me (personal space be damned), the urge to kiss/suck his cherry red juicy bottom lip is a constant battle. SIGHS
^i feel like we as men are so assed backwards.
we respond better when we are ignored.
maybe i just answered everyone in the world with a crush question?
lol
Very true. I don’t get it either but that’s how some of us get down. someone ignores us and something goes off in us and says, “don’t they know who i am, i know they not ignoring me, nahh i ain’t going out like that. Dude know he want me, don’t he know I’m the ishh, I’m about to get him, i know he want me” It’s as if we can’t be rejected. if there will be any rejecting it will be “me” rejecting him not him rejecting “me.” Its azzz backwards to me as well, but that’s reality. there is a need to feel wanted. “straight men” have it bad too. you treat some people nice, with respect and they don’t know what to do or how to act, but the minute you ignore them they become your number one fan. BACKWARDS indeed!!! LOL
Sooooo true ughhhhhh…I’ve given zero fucks since Thursday and now he’s blowing my cell up…I’m not responding!
Man, I’m just going to keep using the word “suggestive” LOL! I mean, what have I been saying from the jump?
I’d feel the same as you man, I won’t even lie! He called you “baby boy”? Geez. Smelling good is my weakness, and then if you call me “baby boy”, I swear, all bets are off! LOL
Well, I’m not saying anything, (but I really am *wink wink*), but I will say this, as intoxicating as he is, I am glad he is your friend. This isn’t my area to give you a lot of advice, but again, just keep doing what you’re doing, it’s working! Idk how this will end up for you, but he’s still a good friend to you, and that’s what matters. Good luck!
^thank you d.
i guess ignoring him and being a “friend” is what is his weakness.
he is use to hoes giving in early.
Yeah that ignore shit get dem real good. Just be astute enough to know exactly what it is without giving too much yourself. Dont be afraid to ask questions if and when yall cross the threshold. Just sit back and protect yourself enough that if it aint gon happen you havent put yourself out there. Dont be so guarded though that i push him away.
Now i would like you to elaborate on the lifting of the shirt to see the abs situation. Oh and da dick grab. Did it look like he was granbin somethin sizeable. Lol
No joke it sound like you two are going to be fucking soon. I could imagine the scenario.
Him: Yo’ wassup babyboy?
J: Nothing, you?
Him: Well I was thinking about coming over to your place.
J: Umm, at where again?
Him: Don’t play, you know want me there.
J: [*thinking to himself* Oh my gosh, YES, YES, YES I want you fool] Mmmhmm, if you say so.
Him: Alright I see you in a bit.
J: Okay see you soon
*knock on the door*
They both get comfortable in the living room and started talking. Work wolf mostly talked about the vixens he been with, blah, blah, blah. But then he ask Jamari if he got any alcohol. So Jamari gave him the drink whateva, but as they are chatting and Jamari is talking about whatever and work wolf is nodding and agreeing until his hand creeps up on Jamari’s leg. Now, of course he notice it, but still keep on talking. Hold on! But then work wolf placed his hand on Jamari’s chin and said “You talk too much, u know that?” then starts to kiss him. You guys know the rest of that evening some hard hitting, squeaking bed noises while Jamari is praying that Mi is not there.
And watch he gonna blame it on the alcohol until he do that shit again.
^i can’t LOL!
Lol!!! Man this reads like an episode of Noah’s ark or l.a complex damn it man you need to be on somebody’s show writing scripts cause this was juicy!
I feel you Jamari! Going through something similar, myself. Been listening to this track a lot in the past few months. LOL
https://youtu.be/U0krS9cDcMU
^i know you feel me c.
Ok, I mad e a comment a few posts ago and someone (I forget who) literally jumped down the throat saying that I was misleading you. Dude is getting himself comfortable to make a move…to satisfy his curiosity. Whatever you do J, let HIM make the first move!! BUT, and I can’t believe I’m saying this…if you value the friendship, would you cross that line?
That’s my dilemma!
^yeah i would never give him the satisfaction of folding in this game.
i don’t know what to think anymore c.
i’m completely caught up in my emotions tonight.
i guess its a “go with the flow” situation?
The right thing to do is acknowledge your feelings for him and determine if acting onthem is in your best interest…at this time. You guys are coworkers,somewhat.You are not 100 that he is trying to seduce you and you value your friendship ALOT. Thats why I say at this time because if these variables were different, I think you get what im saying. Shit,Go with the flow.Idk,LMAO
^and i think thats why i’m scared ronnie.
i don’t think its the right time.
As much as you want to deny it I know it must have felt good to have his attention in this flirtatious way LOL
I say don’t make any big moves let him do it all, that way you don’t set yourself up for disaster. I know it’s hard to know what to think after all the stuff you guys have been through and you finally deciding to tray him as a friend but from this post there is definitely something up between the two of you and it’s not just on your end.
P.S. Is it wrong to say I was blushing like a school girl the entire time while reading this?
^it did mikey.
it really did.
the way he was talking to me and looking at me…
ugh.
ima keep on letting him do his thing.
i’m flowing.
Ooh!!! Jamari I think ya boy wanna tap some of yo fat so bad but I think that nigga is just waiting on the right moment see shit like this makes so sick because its just so much extra stuff just come out and say it damn it!!! Lol but you know what when y’all do decide to do the damn thing its gonna be so fuckin good lol!
^right!!!
all i could see in my mind was us kissing today.
i felt it.
even tho i had an empty spot,
and there was plenty space and opportunity,
i don’t think it was the right time.
i don’t even know if there should be a right time at this point.
I don’t know what to say lol. I’m afraid to get your hopes up to be wrong, but he sounds curious to me. Ahh man, that’s crazy because I’m not sure if you can have a relationship with him.
^it would never work man.
Yea, I know you don’t want to let him smash, and then he dips out on you. I ather you be wrong about him then for that to happen. That’s worse than anything and y’all hate that shit. If he has never been with a man, he’ll probably will not want a relationship. It’s like a late bloomer thing, those types are the worse. It’s a phase for them. Once they try it out for a minute, they ready to switch back over. However, play it close and carefully until you are sure what his intentions are.
So are you sure now he likes you in a way thats more than a friend. I mean he know you are gay. Hes flirting with you and been doin it. He dont respond to you like he would his niggas and he actually told you that.
So is there any doubt in yo mind now? Lol
^yeah i feel he is interested in me.
today def sealed that deal for me.
as much as i saw myself kissing him,
i didn’t want to initiate anything with him today tho.
i wanted him to be comfortable.
Oh hes already comfortable. You are the one that isnt. Lol. I think the roles are actually reversed. It seems like he know you uncomfortable and tryin to show u its ok. He seems sure
^i hope i don’t scare him off jay.
i don’t want to jeopardize our friendship tho.
i have a lot on my mind of why i’m not comfortable lol
Like other posters said let him do the work. With these type of guys its tricky because just as quick as they show signs that tak that shit all back. However fortunately for you i dont think he will mess over you. Yall have developed a friendship and connectio. Before any romance and thats the ground work for great possibilities. In life there are always risks just be calculated.
Now go off into the forest boldly young fly fox. Be smart but be free. And live and love freely mon cher. Sooner than u think u gon be that fox and wolf u saw in the movies. Maybe that was a live dipiction of your near future.
^i love how positive and confident you are keeping me about this jay.
thank you.
i agree with everyone else.
i’ll let him continue to do the work and initiate.
i just didn’t want to make him think i wasn’t interested because nothing happening today.
one word CURIOSITY is MOFO
^i hate it.