meghan markle said in the netflix documentary that she wasn’t looking.
she genuinely wasn’t looking to be in a relationship.
she was on a girl’s trip having fun and documenting it on her socials.
harry saw her and saw “that thing” that was attractive.

i have friends who told me they met their “ones” that way too.
they didn’t have to chase or coerce.
they let “that thing” take over and they were happy being single.
they randomly met these folks while living life and having fun.

the foxhole knows how desperate i was to find a wolf.
whether it was baller wolf or regula degulas.
people pleaser and “love me please!” was the energy i was giving out.
i was repelling or clinging to males that were awful.
after much crying,
hurting,
and ultimately healing…

I can genuinely say “that thing” is in GO MODE within in me

you can’t just “say it” but turn around and feel lonely.
you can’t say you aren’t looking but still looking at everyone.
i was doing that and that’s not how it works.

You respectfully and unapologetically have to be not interested.

find a hobby,
go have fun with people or alone,
upgrade yourself,
and be preoccupied with yourself and only yourself.
even if you meet “the one” and they end up not being interested:

i understand these verses from “my life” by mary j blige clearly now:

Life can be only what you make it
When you’re feeling down, you should never fake it
Say what’s on your mind and you’ll find in time
That all the negative energy, it would all decease
And you’ll be at peace with yourself
You won’t really need no one else
Except for the man up above, yeah
Because He’ll give you love
Oh, oh, ooh ooh ooh, if you looked into my life

Take your time, baby, don’t you rush a thing
Don’t you know I know we all are struggling
I know it is hard, but we will get by
And if you don’t believe in me, just believe in He, yeah
‘Cause He’ll give you peace of mind (Yes, He would)
And you’ll see the sunshine (For real, yes, you would)
And you’ll get to free your mind
And things will turn out fine
Oh, I know that things will turn out fine
Yes, they would, yes they would

if you understand those lyrics too,
you are either in “that thing” or close to it.

lowkey: i feel like “that thing” activates when you are fed up.
when you are over it and everyone.
when you can see through most people and are not impressed.
you can decipher a fuck or “the one” very clearly.
you can have some bomb sex and never talk to the person again.
that thing is a lifestyle.