“There are people who are scared to speak to you again.
They know they treated you bad,
but you def have glo’d up and doing your thing now.
That can be intimidating to people.” – The Pretty Vixen
it’s similar to when we have an ex/ex-friend we know we fucked up with.
we see them looking good after us,
living their best life,
and we want to contact but we are scared too.
it’s the same with past friends/people who did us wrong.
kenya moore and vivica a. fox had beef after “the apprentice” in 2015.
you’d think they would never speak again.
kenya went on vivica’s show,
“cocktails with queens“,
and this is how it went down today…
i realllllllly liked this.
kudos to them.
you can tell kenya has matured since she had her daughter.
vivica always strikes me as a strong but forgiving person.
ill allow it.
foxhole…
I don’t want to live my life being bitter with people.
there are some people who broke me that ill never speak to again.
i will always be cordial but thats where it goes.
if i feel you aren’t a good person,
i won’t be speaking to you again.
i know exactly who they are and they are banished.
they hurt me to the core and treated me like trash.
those who knew me and knew what they were doing get no second chances.
there are others tho,
that we had a falling out,
that i have no issue recconnecting with.
the situation was silly and probably ended due to miscommunication.
people grow and change.
some of us have done the same.
therapy has helped me see things differently.
Only you know what you are willing to forgive with others.
i can be down for a conversation.
ill know by the energy if i’m willing to forgive and reset.
lowkey: there was someone i’ve had a conversation with recently.
it felt good to reconnect back with them tbh.
A long time ago, somebody said, I think it was Tyler Perry as Madea, believe it or not. The character Madea said you can forgive a person but you don’t have to forget it. Like Wilykat said, reconciling is way different than forgiveness. At first I thought Tyler was just running a script but it was said again and the third time it was said in Church. Jesus died and still forgave! What Tyler said to me that made it stick out and forgive them for you, for your sake, for your healing, for yourself. Even if you don’t tell them, you can forgive them from your heart because they sleeping at night, why keep yourself up harboring that. What I learned from church, a forgiving heart gets you so far in life! Now every month, I forgive people in my past, my present and my future and I even forgive myself in those same situations. I forgive myself for anything I’ve done wrong in the past, anything I’m currently doing wrong, and anything I may do in the future. Then in turn forgive others in my past, that are currently doing me wrong, and those who may do me wrong. My stress levels have drastically dropped, I don’t let anything get to me, I don’t let it bother me now, and I can’t let it bother me for something I may do again later. Forgiveness starts with yourself. Hopefully this helps somebody heal who needs forgiveness. I know its not hard to forgive when you been wrong but start with yourself and then work on others and you will feel a lot better about forgiving them.
I absolutely love it! Say what you want about certain churches and religions but a good church with a competent pastor will give you life skills that you can take with you anywhere in life. I too have learned during the pandemic to respect the power of love and forgiveness and giving yourself and others grace for any shortcomings. Once you walk in THAT, then you will see things in your life change. Good for you Bad Boys Club! I applaud Jason Bourne for going to therapy. Mr. Jamari, we had words once about this very issue and I’m glad you are making strides in this area. I want to see you win my friend!
I am a huge fan of both ladies so I’m here for this and I love to see it. Grown ass black women with iconic careers not ego tripping but being the examples that they should be for those that come behind them. Being petty and all that bullshit is worthless and it needs to stop being celebrated. Accountability is a gem that most people need to find.
You can forgive a person…but that doesn’t mean ya’ll have to/need to be besties again.
If I cut you loose, ain’t no coming back. I will say hello and keep it moving, but that’s it. People grow and evolve, becoming a different person. That’s fine…but I want no part of it. I have moved on to the next chapter, or closed the book.
Life is hard enough as it is! Don’t hang onto any negative energy that isn’t necessary. Sometimes we have to be the bigger person and just let some things go. Sometimes, we have to hope others will forgive us and let our bad moves go. Ppl are hurting for real out here in 2022, so carrying bags just isn’t worth it.
Therapy has been great for me.
I had no idea they ( Kenya and Vivica ) had a history. Thanks for posting this. I love both of these women and support the overall theme of “Forgiveness”. I agree with Kenya that “There are lines that you don’t cross” .
Some Black folks in high profile cases forgive in the “Name of God” :
For example: White Cop Amber Guyger who shot & killed innocent , unarmed Black Man ,Bothem Jean when she mistakenly entered his apartment believing it was hers.
His mother forgave her. I have not evolved yet to support her.
I am extremely forgiving. However forgiveness and reconciliation are 2 very different things. We can have a kumbaya moment but that don’t mean we have to reconcile. I had to tell one of my immediate family members that. I forgive you but we don’t need to reconcile in any way shape or form.🤷🏾♂️ It is what it is.
I
Have had emotional flashbacks this week from a era in my life were I was treated awful by the Saint’s at a church out West. It comes over me at odd moments like a hot flash and I am still in disbelief and shell shocked from it. I ghost look at the assailants on social media and see in their eyes they acknowledge, if not admitting, to the pain they caused to so many. I do forgive them and wish them well. Legalism in a church setting is so dangerous. Forgiveness is about freeing yourself, however, it’s hard to loose the chains on certain locks, even when you have the keys in your hands.❤️
Man you better preach that! Totally agree with you Wilykat