Under Construction

going-around-in-circles“i don’t know what i want.”

there i said it.
i thought i knew,
but i have no idea.
i know i want to be happy.
that is always number 1.

what is happiness to jamari fox tho?

if i could snap my finger and make it happen right now,
what would it be?
career?
 fine ass wolf of my dreams?
bring star fox back from the dead?
i think ive been chasing the wrong things that i’m burnt out tbh.
on the outside,
i’m great.
on the inside
i’m a fuckin’ mess.
a mess i tell ya!
does that make me a bad person that i’m at this point?
crazy?
loser?
or does it make me more aware of myself?
steadily trying to find what i want?
i don’t really know anymore.
i’m working towards finding more of a balance in my life.
putting all the things that will help me reach the next level.
i’m unhappy.
ive been unhappy for a very long time.
ive been masking it really well.
i guess i got comfortable and vulnerable in the process.
i had to ask myself why when good things happen,
i don’t revel in them?
why is it that i pay attention to all the bad things?
the things that knock me down?

After of all of the darkness and sadness
Soon comes happiness
If I surround my self with positive things
I’ll gain prosperity

tumblr_lh3dpwmZPc1qfwshko1_500i want to start over.
a clean slate.
“i am fox and hear me roar!”
or growl.
or whatever.
i’m under construction and starting over with another blue print.

blueprintas always:
god is still working on me so please have patience.

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Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

14 thoughts on “Under Construction

  1. A friend of mine just broke down and admitted the same thing after I checked him for chasing guys he knows he isn’t into just to fulfill some goal of finding love before he’s thirty.

    I had to go through it myself. I was raised to always appear to have a plan even if you didn’t. If someone asked me what career I wanted to pursue I was raised to give an answer even if it wasn’t true.

    Fast forward to being 25 and it’s time to get down to business and I’ve pretended to have a plan so long I have no idea what I really want to put effort into!

    I had to break down and admit to myself I didn’t know what the fuck I wanted!

  2. You’ll be alright man. You should make a list of all the good things happening in your life and compare it to the things you are unhappy about. The good should outweigh the bad.

    A roaring Fox tho? HA!!! LOL.

  3. The destiny’s child gif is hilarious. But this entry is true. At least you have enough gaul to question where u are in life. Most folks just kind go with the flow.

  4. Just take one day at a time…things will get better…at least you are being honest with yourself, most peeps would be trying to fake the funk…just stop dwelling on the negative…you have a great blog and from what I gathered from reading your blog…you are great person!!! Stop trying to roar like a lion, I rather see you move mountains instead….

  5. Just take some time out to figure out what YOU really want out of life. Only you know what you truly desire in life. It’s ok if you don’t know now, but you’ll figure it out eventually. Just don’t rush it.

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