There Will Be Bloodshed (I Want Destruction)

tumblr_mdaoe4eOOu1qmp10po1_500you know what i realized today?
i had to give myself some constructive criticism on the way home…

i’ve become way too nice

i tried to follow the rules out of insecurity,
 colored between the lines to avoid conflict,
and look what its gotten me?
now don’t get me wrong,
i’m not a doormat,
i definitely speak up when some violates.
i’m not as strong as i need to be.
i can admit that i became needy and emotional.

i’m too nice to work wolf.
he has gotten use to that and takes advantage.
he has done some real disrespectful shit as of late.
suddenly he is lying and trying to turn situations on me.
pineapple what?
i’m starting to see how “one sided” our situation is.
he has said he fucks up relationships with people who do him good.
he is slowly doing it to me and i’m getting turned off heavy.

mi has been giving me an attitude with her ungrateful ass.
for instance,
she tried to flip on me because i was making noise in the kitchen.
the fuck?????
granted she was asleep,
but did i really need all that rah rah?
what ever happened to being respectful?
i had to remind her how loud she is with her music,
how she leaves her weave hair everywhere,
or how she uses all the toilet paper and not refill it.
she still tried to go at it with me.
i’m not speaking to her,
but she will do her usual.
clean up the crib and use that as her “sorry”.

my job,
like with everything else,
i tried to show i was a good worker.
i went above and beyond.
look what happens an entry down.
they pretty much showed me how much they use me.
its funny tho.
have you noticed in life the slackers get treated great,
but once you try to be nice/put in the axtra effort,
they take complete advantage of you?

i’m tired.
i don’t know what to do anymore.
its not in my character to me nasty,
but maybe i need to try to be?
i think i need to bring the “he-bitch” out again.
i tried this “nice” thing,
but its definitely backed fired in my face.

i want to show a different side to:

work wolf
mi
job

tumblr_mjvmk3QjvT1s73rs9o1_500i am open to a full blown reinvention.

 

any suggestions?

days like this,
i really miss star fox.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

7 thoughts on “There Will Be Bloodshed (I Want Destruction)

  1. I feel you Jamari! When you’re nice and help people, but they start to get rude and too comfortable. Annoys the fuck out of me how people will have the nerve to feel like you’re obligated to do something for them. I’ve learned them same people come to you first with their hand out instead of checking with others because they’ve been disrespectful to people.

    Tell me when you figure out how to fix it. I’m starting to get really irritated with people.

  2. I will support you, but remember don’t get too nasty cause sometime it could take over and you’ll be nasty to the wrong people…. But now that I have time to cool off I just freakin remember way back when I saw an episode of Samantha Brown Europe Trip, she went to Paris and the taxicab driver told her to be careful with those who are too nice with you because they are the one who will rob you in Paris since Parisians are known to be mean and rude, so the con-artists use that as their advantages on American travelers cause they more trusting to those who are nice to them. So I guess it applies in New York as well, but in New York they throw you under the bus instead.

  3. As I have said before I soo know what you are going through the with being too nice. The problem is how do you get people together without over doing it.

    I say with work wolf and mi you let them both know that you have aren’t going to let them get over on you and treat your niceness for kindness anymore. If mi comes at you the wrong way remind her in the nastiest way who’s roof she is under. When work wolf does it remind him how he fucks up wit the good people in his life and you don’t need his crap.

    As far as work it can be tricky so I hope some on here can give you some advice there.

    P.S. There is a Girlfriends episode that might help titles “just say No” where Joan was going through a similar situation.

  4. Jamari you’re a native New Yorker. You being mad soft right now my nigga. From what I heard, New Yorkers don’t play that soft shit B. Reach deep down inside you and pull that rude idaf New Yorker attitude out of you son. Dead ass!

    See that’s why I keep coming here. You’re a lot like me. You do need to start being a bitch. And so do I.

    Your coworker didn’t think twice about how you would feel when he threw you under the bus nor did he not care to look the other way when he saw you coming.

    Mi doesn’t think twice about how you would feel to hear her loud ass music, but will come at you for doing something as small as making you some food in your kitchen.

    Work wolf does not think about how you will feel when he lies or does whatever it is he does.

    They don’t think or care because they know you will take it.

    If I were you I’d start going ghost on people. Start half assing your work so they assign others to help you. Tho I know that will be hard because you receive praises for being a good worker. But they take advantage of your hard work.

    Find another wolf, like that one in the other department to take your mind off work wolf. Shower the other wolf with all your attention while ignoring the other one.

    And mi, hmm, that’s a hard one. She most likely treats you like shit because your family, and if yours is anything like mine, they can treat you like shit but don’t expect you to treat them like shit back or else you’ll hear about it or not hear from them at all anymore.

    1. ^zen you are right.

      i thought a lot about everything before I went to bed.
      i definitely had that “idgaf” attitude.
      after losing star fox,
      and being jobless for so long,
      i lost that swagg super heavy.
      i became dependent on people because I was afraid to lose them.

      i got my national negro wake up call.
      ima take your advice on going ghost.
      work is a different beast,
      but ill take that before my exit.

      thanks.
      i needed this reminder.

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