i sometimes like to live in my head…
that’s the place i get most of my ideas,
break things down,
figure people out,
and solve issues the best way i can.
star fox always said i like to peel things down in my head.
sometimes i got to the center.
other times i created something out of nothing.
over thinking is either my greatest strength or flaw.
depending on the situation.
my mind can truly be like a rubik’s cube.
i’m sorta use to it by now.
combine that with my intuition and it has saved my ass from hell.
yesterday i must have slept all day.
i was so tired but i also couldn’t stop thinking.
thinking of nearly dying and what i would have left behind.
suddenly little issues meant nothing.
the suicidal thoughts i had before i frowned upon.
“am i blessed?”
i didn’t even know the carbon monoxide batteries were dead a month ago.
it was until someone came to fix the heater in my spot that they alerted me to it.
they noticed it wasn’t flashing.
i took some batteries around the crib from various things,
but they were on their last leg hence me having to go replace them.
“do i really need to replace these batteries tho?
when the hell will i deal with carbon monoxide?”
when the detector went off randomly last week,
because it needed new batteries,
something urged me to replace them.
so i did.
who knew a week later i’d learned why things happened the way they did.
i recently asked god why is it he isn’t there for me?
why am i suffering?
i’m realizing between my god and my guardian angels,
they are there.
those ideas i get,
when i need to break something down,
or when i feel that urge to do something.
sure it doesn’t stop something from happening,
but i always believed in signs.
i have to always try to remember that,
even when im trying to figure out why.