The Effects of Living Backwards

this winter season in new yawk has been the worst.
i’m completely over it.
lately i’ve been feeling:

tired af
sick af
depressed af
low energy af

“wanting to call out of work” – af
“ain’t trying to get outta bed” – af
“leave me the fuck alone” – af

…and i didn’t know what was going on.
you know when i cry over an erased entry,
but it was like i was crying to release something else,
there is an underlying issue at hand.
i spoke to pose today and she hipped me onto something.
something i ain’t never heard of,
but we may all suffer from it…

Seasonal Depression

now you know i get depressed,
but this has been on a whole other level this year.
after researching the symptoms,
it was right on the money.
new yawk has been gloomy af these last few months.
the cold is unbearable and it has been dreary.
from the time i get into work,
i don’t see any sun.
when i leave,
it’s dark.
the weekends been too cold to even want to do anything.

hardcore mess

i’m so over it,
i wear sweat pants to work.
my classy sweatpants.
the fitted jogger-like ones.
bulky grey sweats?
jamari fox would never.

i ain’t crazy.
when i get the bag,
i’m legit gonna have two homes.
as soon as new yawk gets brick,
i’m over in cali or texas.
when it’s back to bearable,
i’ll spend the spring/summer/possible fall here.
since the bag isn’t secured yet:

check out the symptoms of ( x seasonal depression ).
you aren’t alone.

lowkey: i read you can get seasonal depression in hot climates.
i didn’t even know that.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

6 thoughts on “The Effects of Living Backwards”

  1. I AM SO OVER THIS WEATHER AND THIS FLU SEASON! SO OVER IT!!!!! Everyone is sick and nasty, getting me sick and nasty, and I’m NOT HAVING IT! Excuse the caps. I’ve been having pent up anger since I was sick for the WHOLE month of December and STILL experiencing random ass symptoms. Worse thing as, as I’m getting better, I’m going to the doctors to do check ups and going to do all these tests is getting me sick being surrounded by all germs permeating in the air. I go to my doctor’s office and it’s crowded and this coughing and sneezing child sits beside me. like WTF!!!!! I’m so tight.

    My inner germaphobe is kicking in high gear and I’m super grossed about by everyone right about now. I just want to hibernate.

  2. Yeah seasonal depression is a real thing. My neurobiology professor had mentioned it a few weeks ago. In some cases, it’s actually part of therapy for people to spend a certain amount of time in the sun. You’d be surprised at how the things we never think of actually play a big role in our day to day life. Hopefully your winter in NY will break soon and you will be able to get some sun back in your life.

  3. Have you heard of Sad Lights. I just saw it in an episode of Broad City which talked about seasonal depression. It supposedly helps.

  4. I love winter. This is one of my favorite times of year. But I also have a partner who has a condo in Florida so I can get to a beach when I want.

    That being said seasonal depression is real and I’m sorry you have this problem. Two folks in my office have it. They use those lamps that simulate sunlight. They claim it works wonders.

    Here is one at Bed, Bath and Beyond (

    I find exercise, drinking plenty of water, taking vitamins and having plenty of sex is great for mood too, especially in winter.

    Please take care of yourself. We need witty observer of the world like you around for a long time to come!

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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