The Bus Stop

Here, Anywherei want you to try something with me foxhole.
close your eyes.
wait!
actually don’t.
you have to read what i have to say.
okay try this.
think about a vast open plain in the middle of nowhere.
like a desert or a highway.
hell florida.
now imagine

a bus stop being there in the middle of it.
there is nothing close for miles,
but you happen to live close of the bus stop.
every day,
you go and sit at that bus stop.
now the buses come from 8am to 8pm.
the thing is,
you are waiting for “him” to drive up.
see,
this person drives a bus.
now it could be a “him” or a “her”.
whatever you choose.
i won’t judge.
just imagine every day sitting at this bus stop,
waiting patiently,
for the chance to get on the bus to whoever has stolen your heart.
many buses have passed by.
you have told them all to go.
other drivers are behind the wheel.
better ones.
better looking ones.
nope.
you are waiting for this one particular driver.
the problem is you don’t know when they will come back around again.
you have been waiting and waiting,
but nothing.
now you are obsessed.
this is why you keep waiting.
wishing.
hoping.
planning.
you just want to see them again,
but then what?

now i want you to think about that person you want.
again,
“him” or “her”.
unlike the bus,
you’re waiting for them to take you seriously.
so many others are passing you by,
but you are holding out hope that they will finally show up.
foxhole,
it may never happen.
you can keep waiting for years,
but that “driver” might be long gone.

God put that in my heart for my own struggle,
but you also needed to read that as well.
it doesn’t have to be “a person” either.
whatever you are currently waiting patiently to happen.
it’s making you sad and causing you a lot of stress.
i think it’s time to catch another bus.

f2a

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

7 thoughts on “The Bus Stop

  1. You are so right J. I’m battling this myself. In other aspects of my life, I consider myself to be a “go-getter” I’m strategic, dominant and clever. I have confidence, and my self- esteem is solid, but when it comes to this “love & sex” thing, it’s the opposite; no confidence,feeling inadequate, passive etc. Idk how to break the cycle.

    It’s funny you mention the bus scenario, because there is this bus driver that drives the bus from my school, so I see him pretty often, and he kinda has an Odell Beckham Jr. look to him (but idk, i find this driver sexier IMO, Odell is aight to me, but this guy does it for me) he has the same hairstyle and everything, and he’s pretty sexy to me not going to lie. One time I ran out of money to pay for the bus and he was so accommodating to me, so he’s a pretty cool guy. I keep getting into situations where I’m kinda 1 on 1 with him, but I don’t know what to say, I’m not good at small talk and those insecurities silence me: “he’s most likely straight” , “even if he wasn’t why would he want me?” “I’m not good looking enough” “i’m not masculine enough”, “i’m not cool enough” “i’m too boring” etc. I know i’m not supposed to think these things, but this is really not my area of expertise. I could talk about social and political issues for DAYS with strong arguments, but these situations usually leave me with nothing to say. I’m not good at being aggressive like that with people, it’s not really my style, or nature, I’m more of the slow and steady type anyway so idk where I fit in this “dating world”.

    I was thinking of trying tinder to try to put myself out there, but idk, I don’t like these dumb apps, I’m not really here for it. Does it even have a gay setting? idk, all I know is that I need to try something different, because I’m going no where fast with whatever I’m (not) doing… Foxhole help? lol

    1. Next time send this in a foxmail…..but if there’s any advice I can give that I learned..is “stop fearing the unknown and the what ifs”….get out of your comfort zone. We get very stagnant and stuck in our ways for time and by the time we know it’s been years and we still haven’t grown because we are so afraid of not getting what we want. Which is human and ok to not want to be defeated or embarrassed or rejected. You can’t win all of them but when you put yourself out there you will see it was worth it because you will eventually be more confident with yourself in knowing you tried and not afraid. ” a small hey how’s your day going?” Can get you far or atleast farther than you expected. Good luck and I wish you the best!

      1. Thanks brother! Much appreciated! I usually give a “how are you?” etc. but I’m like a dead fish after that haha. I’ll keep working on it, thanks!

    2. I know this might seem kinda corny but if he has a name tag you could always try addressing him by his name and see how he responds.

      Trust, I think a lot of us in this fox and wolf life can relate to a lot of what you wrote in your comment. Unlike the straights we don’t always have a good chance with our crushes especially being a fox.

    3. Diggy, here’s something simple…just ask him how his day is going so far.
      When you see him, always speak, no matter what time of day…good morning, afternoon, etc. If he’s a cool dude, he’ll respond. If you’re a regular, which I’m sure you are based on him allowing you to skimp on the fare, that’s a plus. It works!

      SOME drivers, not all, get comfortable with regular riders and open up to them. Others will ignore you. LOL

      I had a driver that I developed a “friendship” with. In fact, he was the first dude to ever hit on me, where I picked up on it. LOL
      He would constantly ask me to hang out with him. Just when I was about to say yes to him, I saw that shiny band of gold on his finger and deaded it right away. Don’t mess with married folks, male or female.

      That was years ago, but I actually ran into him again some time ago. Still looks good, had a baby boy…and is still with his missus.

      1. Thanks Christian and Mikey! I’ll try the name tag thing, but isn’t that too forward? I know, it’s weird to approach guys as a fox/hybrid, you just never know what you’re going to get. I think that’s what’s making me apprehensive.

        I’ll try Christian, thanks brother. Wow, you must have some game, I can’t imagine that happening to me LOL.

      2. Nope. No game at all. I’m polite, and that politeness rubs off after a while. They may start off standoff-ish, but over time they start to warm up to you. Never failed me yet.
        In fact, my family and friends tell me that I can never notice when a person is flirting and/or hitting on me.

        Mikey made a good point. If you can, without being too obvious, try to check the name tag. Mostly all you’ll get though is their last name and their badge number. Got many relatives in the MTA. Lol

        But the simplest route is just saying hello/good morning/etc. You will have some that ignore you, some who AUTOMATICALLY think you trying to hit on them…but they won’t come out and say anything.
        It’s just taking baby steps until you’re comfortable.

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