yes.
yes take it all in.
everyone meet rauve’ haley.
we just talked about personal trainers this morning too.
yikes.
well one of my f-bi had to alert me of all that chocolate milky goodness…

Continue reading “Rauve Haley Is Chocolate Wonderful” →

“do 1,000 sit ups before breakfast.
2,000 before lunch,
and 10,000 before bedtime.”

“see these rock hard abs?
they came from doing sits on the holy grail and drinking cat blood right after.”

“you can get bouncing pecs too.
just make sure you lift your weight in a mini cooper and then wrestle a rabid raccoon right after.”

“i’m a herbalife life assistant. contact me today.”

is herbalife the male mary kay?
yeah so those are all instagram statuses.
you know i keed.
first it was models,
then it was twerking,
now its the BILF (body i’d like to f).

now we’re talking!
personal trainer wolves have started to flood instagram.
you can’t page hop without seeing compression shorts,
work out videos in the playground,
and sweat juice pecs.
listen i love my wolves with the muscular bodies.
i been known to worship a nice body,
while on my knees with spanish candles burning,
but has anyone noticed that everyone with muscle mass wants to whey in on a workout regiment?
it seems like these wolves who sucked as athletes have decided that training would be their life goal.
how fun is some meaty asshole
telling you that you ain’t shit because you don’t live in the gym?
how fun also that they won’t date anyone who isn’t working out either?
its like they have the personality of a dumbbell.
you notice a majority of these wolves have no one?
how can they have anyone really?
well besides “gymella” and that bitch is pretty much ran through.
hell the illusion of great work out like sex maybe just a fantasy as well.
i don’t mind the free work out tips,
but god forbid i try to hit them up about advice.
hell even personal training sessions…
i mean you are a “personal trainer” right?
i’m starting to think that personal training is all some of them have to offer.
with a gym now on every corner,
and a “steve to stephon” type dude with an instagram account,
i couldn’t help but wonder…

has personal training
become the new fall back career for swaggless men?

cynthia tho?!?!?
i was in tears for a good 5 minutes at that picture.
these below get honorable meme mentions…

Continue reading “Miley Cyrus Welcome To Black Twitter” →

so you follow @attentionwhore instagram.
pick one.
there are a ton.
either his body was glistening more than usual,
or he went in on something sexual,
but something inside you started typing a comment.
one that was kinda bold.
well said @attentionwhore decided to reply:

“thats a lil suspect son.”
“wow thats that homo shit.”
“why are you even commenting under my shit nigga?”

embarrassing, i’m sure.
all the vixens are laughing and making comments.
they too are fiending for the dick.
you aren’t who i’m side eying at the moment.
its the other hyenas in the comment box who got something to say:

“wow *insert smiley face emoticons* @attentionwhore”
“thats real suspect son @attentionwhore”
“you sure told him @attentionwhore”

uuuh…
ya’ll crusty face dumb ass negros following him too.
i know ya’ll not following for the #foodporn and the drinks.
don’t start trying to get in good with @attentionwhore for brownie points.
especially at the expense of someone else.
stop the foolishness.
stop it right now.
oh and cut the “son” and “bruh” too.
you don’t say that shit in real life and you know it.
thanks.
FXHLE MGMT.

king james flexed his muscles the other day.
he was in traffic going to the jay z/jt concert in miami.
well with a wave of his scepter,
he got a police escort that involved him being driven on the wrong side of the street.
well all the miami police folk aren’t feeling his privilege and well…

Continue reading “King James Says “F The Peasants” and Gets A Police Escort” →

“aint worried bout nothin”
by french montana has got to be the song of the summer.
i hear that shit everywhere.
well since miley cyrus wants to be everywhere the black people are,
she jumped on the remix…

Continue reading “Miley Cyrus Goes Fulltime Ratchet on “Aint Worried Bout Nothin” Remix” →