stop trying to be perfect for these negros ya’ll want to date

we often think once we find someone then that’s it.
i guess it’s the optimist in us that we found “the one”.
the problem is when we thought this alleged one was all great…

…until the honeymoon phase wears off.

i was talking to someone today and they made me realize something

party dun,
who doesn’t want to be revealed,
was telling me how bored they’ve become with their partner.

“He literally does everything to please me.
He has literally conformed himself to like what I like.
There is no challenge or is he his own person.
Listen,
he is the sweetest guy but there is no ‘oomph’.
Is that bad?”

no,
it’s not.
i asked about the sex:

“I mean,
it’s okay.
It’s not bad sex,
but it’s just there.
We don’t do anything exciting.”

i felt him.
i’ve seen folks in relationships literally bend over backward for their partners.
some like that; others don’t.
the honeymoon phase is always exciting,
but i find the real start of the relationship is after that wears off.
this is why you see these relationships end after a year or two.

I like being exciting but I’m not always exciting.

i have a mouth but sometimes i’ll stay quiet.
i can be moody or i can be lit.
i can make my own decisions and other times i need help.
i can be sexual af on some days and “don’t even touch me” on others.
i don’t try to be perfect.

I try to be me.

when i meet a wolf,
he needs to be his own man and meet me in the middle.
if i like chocolate and he hates chocolate,
i don’t need him suddenly liking chocolate to please me.
i want him to tell me why he hates chocolate so i can tell him why i hate vanilla.
well,
actually i love vanilla.


so i think for some,
they are dead set on being the perfect partner.
after a while,
that gets hella boring and i don’t think folks realize that.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

5 thoughts on “stop trying to be perfect for these negros ya’ll want to date

  1. A lot of people are looking for someone who is just like them to date, not realizing they don’t even really like themselves all that much.
    Find someone who is an individual, who communicates and is committed. You don’t need someone who will pretend, you need someone to be honest and tell you things that you may not want to hear.
    Relationships become boring over time, that’s natural. You don’t throw your hands up and say I am done, you both have to work and find ways to make things exciting.
    Relationships are work, and a lot of people don’t want to work. They want everything to come easy, but that’s not how it works.

    1. You took the words right outta my mouth!! Being bored isn’t the issue. If you want a little more excitement in your relationship, you should communicate that with your partner. But my nosey ass is curious about the dynamics of that relationship tho šŸ‘€

  2. Jamari, if you met a great guy who was vers, could you deal? You know I’m very vocal about how gay men emulate heteronormativity too often. Could a gay man who wants versatility stand a chance? For you and all of the 75 ppl who commented on the LNX posts.

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