i don’t want to say i’ve given up on love,
but i’ve taken a hiatus.
i’ve spent so many years desperately looking for a wolf,
but these days,
i find more joy being happy and content with myself.
i appreciate other males,
and how good they look,
but “good looks” doesn’t always lead to a “good man”.
neither is an ugly or “nice” one.
it’s no secret that a majority of males are trash.
after getting my heart broken a few times,
or falling for the wrong wolves,
i’ve found peace learning to love myself.
i was a whole mess out here.
when i see videos of ryan cleary and his new bae tho…
and then this video of him cooking:
while watching “game of thrones”:
…it makes me realize that i’ll find someone to share these moments with.
he is out there,
i was to blame in a lot of my situations tho.
i had a nasty habit of trying to rush into things.
and extreme dehydration all allowed me to be an easy target in getting hurt.
i find so much more comfort with going in the flow.
i joke around about sex,
but i’m not comfortable jumping on a new dick so quick.
i had to learn all of these things to get comfortable within myself.
You can’t find someone else when you can’t even find you.
so i pray that this year is the year i meet “him”.
it might be next year or the year after that.
i’m not in a rush.
i hated me for a long time.
i’m starting to like this fox i never wanted to exist.
i hope ryan and his bae are able to last for the long haul.
i’m sending them much love from the foxhole.
lowkey: is it wrong that i fantasize about having a cub?
ya’ll know i can’t stand kids,
but the wolf of my dreams will be the father to my cub(s).
i cannot believe i fonted that out loud.