Let me just say that I don’t know what is worse: the straight dude-gay dude relationship of >10 years ago or the straight dude-gay dude relationship of today. Let me explain.
10 years ago straight dudes would not even come near a known gay dude and if they did it was truly on the low-low. Now, this had its disadvantage and advantages. Back then we could tell a straight dude apart in a heartbeat: he was hood all the way. The clothes really made the man. Thug wear wasn’t a fashion trend it was a lifestyle. There was minimal interaction and homophobia was rampant. You stayed on your side of the street and I in mine. It didn’t matter if dude was alone we just didn’t try that shit. Yes, we fantasized, beat off to their name but we left it alone.
Now a days it is all different. You can’t tell us apart anymore. The lines are blurred to a point that it brings about a host of other issues. Straight dudes are too in tune with fashion, taking care of their bodies to the point of obsession and, hell, are bit too damn cultural. I want you to accept me as your equal, damn it, but don’t steal my swag and pull it off better than me. And to make matters worse they crave our attention. While there are many that flirt with their curiosities, (and it doesn’t matter how much we trick ourselves into believing they are gay–because unfortunately we still think every man is gay) the reality is that the majority are not gay. They are a reflection of the times. Damn you Kanye!
Coincidentally, today my brother went on a job interview. We had lunch after. His prelude into telling me about the job was to tell me how he flirted with the hiring manager who happened to be gay. “He was flirting with me so badly that I said, fuck it, let me use it to my advantage, So, I played his game.” Yes, my 22 year old straight brother decided to play the game. He got the job. Which brings me to Jamari’s entry. Straight dudes are so aware, because we are so reckless about it (damn the gay liberation movement!), that they are using our weaknesses against us. We, of course, have always craved their validation to satisfy our feelings of “not being a real man because I am gay” so we fall for it like moths to a flame. They know we want them and can use us to get what they want whether it be studying for a test or sucking them off. For many of us the instant gratification of getting that straight dude attention or sexual conquest is sufficient enough that we don’t see what we are doing.
I think we need to accept that while sex is an animal instinct hormone ain’t got nothing to do with sexual orientation. While sex/relationships for women is very much a matter of the heart, for men its a dick/brain thing. It’s logical but illogical. What do I mean by that? No matter what they exterior says, if a dude likes/prefers women there is nothing we can do to get him to be with us/love us. Yet, the dick/brain part will tell him, Hey I need a warm mouth/drama free hole and this fag is here so why not. When it’s all said and done, he got his need met. We need to man up and stop internalizing these hetero ideals that a real man is rugged and tough and will back break us and we will iron his socks because his straight dick is that good and let them be. For they will forever continue to chase the video ho’s.
We attract who we are ready for. We need to start loving ourselves for who we are (for our self perceived flaws and the flaws society put on us) and then we will receive that love in return.
But, if what you are content with is dick, then keep on chasing that ever so elusive dangling carrot gurls.
All the best,
PS. Damn, Jamari I’ve done wrote you a book.
For this one in particular,
I would love to hear your thoughts.