many gays use being a bottom as an insult

after the discussion yesterday about yardiestyle,
i noticed something that i’m glad one of the foxholers pointed out.
in trying to throw shade at yardiestyle…

the idea that he might bottom was thrown in as an insult.
as many of you know,
he has never done it on screen and has maintained being a wolf.

Why is being on the bottom,
or the idea that someone is a fox,
the “go-to” insult in the culture?


Why is someone who bottoms automatically associated with female pronouns?

i keep telling ya’ll that being called a “girl” or “sis” is actually an insult.
ya’ll got vixens out here disrespecting men with that shit.
what’s wild to me is in the next breath,
folks will fiend to see an attentionisto bend over.
the complaints about this one being disrespectful to the community:

… but they salivate at the idea of him getting bent.
have you noticed when an attentionisto bottoms on camera,
their popularity goes away after the post-nut clarity?
i’m convinced that many gay males hate bottoms even if they are one.
my thought is:

Being on the bottom is associated with being feminine.
Many gays have childhood trauma that stems from being feminine.
As males,
whether gay or straight,
we are taught blue is for boys and pink is for girls.
many gays hate themselves because they were taught to do so.
The bullying at school and then not being accepted by our parents/families.

Being masculine or a top (wolf) is still a prized fantasy possession within this culture.
This is why some of these gay males will coddle,
or do anything for outwardly masculine (straight) males.

these are just my thoughts tho.

if ya’ll pay attention to what some of these folk say,
they’ll make you insecure and crazy cause they are insecure and crazy.
there are more contradictions in the rabbit hole that is black gay culture.
we will continue to address them.
(send in your complaints so we can address them.)

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

18 thoughts on “many gays use being a bottom as an insult”

  1. I never understand the stigma behind someone deciding to bend over rather than doing the bending. Both participants are necessary! “Tops” need to put some respect on the “bottom” role because who wants to [email protected] a fleshlight all the time or use their hands. NOT ME!!! I appreciate ever tight and warm 🍑 that allows me to fill it completely. 😎 “Bottom” shaming is beyond crazy! Just enjoy whatever type of legal & consenting sex you like to have and stop worrying about what some else likes to do privately or publicly.

  2. Another good thread about the life. I concur with Jason Bourne who is my favorite foxhole personality.

    I’m working through my own insecurities of men wanting to dress like women yet be gay not trans. I can accept a trans and I’m not interested but my mind gets irked when I see a fine ass bottom who overdoes it with wanting to be a woman. Then you have all the ignorance that comes with it that all gays want to be women and the stereotypes. I don’t like being called sis bitch or girl, I think it’s as offensive as being called any of the slurs. I just let it roll off my back because I don’t feel like always correcting people or being on the defense. I’m secure in my skin and people love to project their mess onto you. I’m versatile and the biggest hurdle is that bottoms will not fuck with you if you aren’t the all encompassing top then you have tops who are confused because I’m athletic and I enjoy being physical. I’ve learned to only focus on me and the right people who understands or is intrigued will come across my path.

      1. That part. The sooner we start realizing that we aren’t hetero, the better.

        I hit you up on IG Jamari. Holla at me

          1. Jamari, if you don’t respond to me on 1 of these platforms (here, patreon, ig) I will push ur grama down the stairs.

      2. I’m glad you picked up the joke I was putting down, cus I was gonna come in here and apologize before someone decided to overthink a joke and create a narrative man. Thanks for getting it.

  3. Great topic. And it’s not rocket science. Gay men are caught up in trying to emulate heteronormativity. If you like getting pounded out until the morning comes, do you. But BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN AND HAVE A WHOLE ENTIRE PEEN, allow yourself to use it, even if it’s for someone else’s pleasure. The narrative wont change until the participants change it! We are not men and women. We are men. We have to stop w this narrative of trying to emulate straight ‘roles’. Any and every man who is into men will bottom for some man at some point.

    I’m not saying that preferring to bottom is a problem or anything, but if it’s based out of you wanting the experiences your homegirl talks about, and you liking masculine guys so you auto put masc=top, fix ur thinking. Bottoming isn’t the issue; heteronormativity is!

  4. Unfortunately, Mankind places too much energy and thought into our physical side. The Male is often and sadly seen as the “Top of the Food Chain , Apex Predator”. Anything else is considered ” Inferior”. Many people don’t associate “Bottoms” with this archaic and ill perceived view.( Apex Predator) . Until more of us alter our way of thinking , consciously and subconsciously, being a “Bottom’ will be considered ” Inferior”.

    [ This is not my view .Simply an attempt to explain why this whole “Top and Bottoms” concept needs to be put to rest]

    I much prefer sex to be seen as fluid , mental and emotional instead of labels. 2 individuals should have a nonphysical exchange ( conversation , hints etc.) before just FUCKING !!!

  5. I will admit the rare wolf in the past who has requested being topped or alluded to it was shocking for me. I pretended to not hear it. It raised a lot of questions that I didn’t ask, that I didn’t want answered.
    If your wolf likes anal rubbing, deep tongue salad tosses from you during sex and you end up with two or three fingers up in him and he expresses no discomfort, he has probably bottomed. It wasn’t a deal breaker.
    When women use “Sis and sassy” as a way of insulting straight males, it isn’t a good luck. It gives closeted lesbian vibes.
    This subject is like one of those Russian dolls where you open one and there’s another and another and still another untill you reach the bottom.

  6. Quick Reply: You hit the nail on the head. It’s our own trauma that causes of the grief. The community definitely hold tops in high regards. You even see this in pornography: tops being paid more than bttm. I can say as a masc fox , there is a certain pressure that the culture put on you and when you don’t add up its strike insecurities of rejection, not being good enough, being seen as less than because you are not a top. I’ve began to work on my own self hatred, because just because I’m a bttm does not make me less of a man or human for that matter. And well, if yardiestyle want to live a vers life, do it. Top or Bttm! Health sex is about pleasure.

    1. @Will
      Harvard and Yale ought to teach a course “The Psychology of Bottoming”. You are correct about our own traumas, and there are millions of gay men who snurl and snarl at bottoms, but bottoms keep the wheels turning. The real “men” or champs are the bottoms. The ability to take these big tree trunk dicks is an art within itself. Real talk.

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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