Reading constructive criticism can be hard.
We all want to be right or even live life feeling we are right.
But, when someone comes thru and forces you to see a difference in your opinion or even change it,
it can be a real downer and make your life a sad place.
Well a recent Fox wrote a comment to me under:
“Yo Straight Gay Wolf, Do Wanna Be My Manz? PAUSE and NO HOMO.”
and …
well …
Here it is..
This is a bit off point but can I just say every bottom is wasting their time trying to bag a (baller) wolf. Sorry Jamari, I doubt you’ll ever meet the baller wolf of ur dreams to sweep u off ur feet.
This is simply because as men we can NEVER compete with the attraction value a woman has when it comes to pulling a man. have u ever seen a baller with an ugly woman? I think not.
Also, Wolves have the better end of the deal in this gay business cos they get easy pickings and they also get to do the yummy banging.My solution (Which isn’t a solution really, more like a suggestion which isn’t even foolproof) is two fold-
Either we train ourselves to become straight, or we become tops(or versatile) or just become celibate all together.That was 3 options but u get my general drift.
Anyway, I love ur blog Jamari. Until u get me concrete evidence (of course i use the term evidence loosely, only because i’ll have to be taking your word for it:p) of a normal fox who has bagged a baller wolf, then I believe us bottoms are doomed to be alone.
Bisous x
Remember when people told you that you couldn’t do something?
Whether it was going to school for a higher education or buying something you couldn’t afford.
You could have been trying getting out of the hood and moving to a better neighborhood.
Do you remember they brought up stats and other things to discourage you?
They even compared you to other people that failed? or people who were more qualified?
How did that make you feel?
If it made you feel like shit and you gave up… well this isn’t the entry for you.
I don’t fuck with losers.
But, if it made you feel powerful and make you want to prove everyone wrong,
then THIS is definitely for you…
I am not going to become a Wolf or a Hybrid.
I am not going to become celibate.
I will meet a Baller Wolf(s) in my journey AND THEY WILL CHASE ME.
I also WILL NOT compare myself to a piece of pussy.
EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO LOVE THEM.
Sistas and Wolves.
We are too busy comparing ourselves to sistas…
who are compare themselves to exotic looking and Spanish Vixens.
Wolves are comparing themselves to each other and straight Wolves.
I’m tired of hearing I can’t DO something.
I am tired of watching Wolves get what they want and I have to hope and pray I meet one.
I am also tired of Foxes feeling like they will never be happy in love.
Listen to this song…
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Zbe7P2oF_s]
(better yet, listen to the whole album. Very inspiring…)
God has me alone for a reason.
Like you, I am not ready.
Maybe I need to strengthen my confidence…
…or maybe I may meet the man of my dreams and become his doormat.
Maybe I need to inspire a whole colony so I can be YOUR example.
God has already showed me if I stay patient with other things, I can achieve what I want.
God has already given me more than I deserve and I am always thankful.
Some of you need to be grateful.
I believe that I am going to get swept off my feet by someone great.
He may not be Devin Thomas, Adrian Peterson, or Victor Cruz,
or he may just be,
but he will:
Be better
Have a lot more money
Have better pipe
and worship the ground I walk on.
Try a little faith.
It’s Sunday.
Now… don’t let me hear YOU or any of you think like this again.
You don’t want to see me pissed off.
😉
I love you.
I’m not God so I cannot tell you WHEN you will meet someone.
But, like that Mary J song above:
In each tear there’s a lesson,
(there’s a lesson)
Makes you wiser than before
(wiser)
Makes you stronger than you know
(stronger)
In each tear
(each tear)
Brings you closer to your dreams
No mistake,
no heartbreak
Can take away what you’re meant to be…
You got to fight harder than this Foxes.
-I have a question for everyone regarding the entry, oh and this isn’t regarding anyone this is just in general so no offense anyone ;). my question is have You ever had a celebrity crush and honestly it doesn’t even have to be a celebrity, but have you ever had someone that you longed to be with but others thought it to be merely impossible, and then you actually ended up with that person? Does this sounds like something that can actually happen and does happens or does it sound like a complete fairytale? I know a lot of people that have had this type of crush but many however were very unsuccessful. May I ask do you know how? I’ll tell you exactly how. Because they answered, that this was more prone to fairytales only.
To start many people admitted defeat before it actually had begun. They did this to themselves and only they were to blame. They didn’t even try. They have a negative aurora and approach about everything, they can’t seem to understand why some choose to be optimistic with the risk of failure. When everyone or at least some people should know that sometimes failure is necessary. You have to be defeated once to know how to win second. It makes you stronger and smarter. Unfortunately They did what most of ppl do blow it off with being sarcastic because they don’t see it for themselves. And if you can’t see something that you want for yourself, damn sure how the hell is anyone else able to envision it for you. Don’t be victim of your own self defense mechanisms. If you want something have faith in it, act on it a little then, and focus on you. Once you’ve done that then your on your POINT!!!
Most people don’t even try and they let the horror stories of other affect their outcome. They also listen to the negatives. And if they do try and things aren’t going the way they had planned they over analyze every little thing. Then give up abruptly. How sad and deserving of pity which is not sympathy, instead a huge insult. After they given up they tend settle, and when you choose to settle, some people are so desperate they’ll take anyone. If your intentions are to one day settle for less then don’t hope for the best . If you settle in life its not a bad thing, but neither positive nor negative because overall you took the easy way out which makes you a simple scapegoat. It actually leaves you in BLANK!!!
You have to thrive and try for what you want, and take the good with the bad. Honestly most people probably won’t get what they want but it doesn’t hurt to try, and I mean you never know life is full of surprises. And I can tell you this because I’ve had my share of failures, but I never gave up and I chose to keep striving for what it is that I really want because I’m persistent. I don’t have what I want yet, but I’m not worried about it not happening either, because its going to happen, I don‘t even think about it honestly. And its weird because when I don’t think about it, that’s when something actually happens. And I will admit that had a few success and realized that this isn’t what I had wanted too. So be careful what you wish for, well actually don’t be careful and wish for everything that you want, because when it happens its up to you if its actually what you wanted. And no offense to anyone if you find this offensive what so ever and I don’t mean to sound self centered at all cause i’m really not, I really want the best for everyone because success stories are really sexy ;). Also don’t ever put anyone on your pedestal, because most people don’t even deserve it. I believe that In life you can either make it happen or make excuses, however the chose is yours. PERIOD!!!
And I learned the hard way, but I’m rooting for everyone though
^I LOVE THIS!!!!!!
Sounds like The Secret and other stuff I have read on The Law of Attraction!!!
I love a man that can inspire…
And you have me feeling amazing!
I hope everyone read that CAREFULLY.
Powerful stuff.
I have been blessed to have had celebrity attractions and to have actually meet the object of my dream attraction/lust. This always seem to happen to me to when it came to people who I was attracted to in high school and in college, and all I can say is that sometimes wanting is way better than having, because when you are attracted to a celebrity it is based on a fantasy/idealized image or someone if that ilk ie: the home coming queen, the high school quarterback etc the dream is disrupted by the reality that they may have bath breath, are poor in bed, or as dumb as two rocks etc, and also remember that you are competing with about a couple of million other people.
Two stories come to mind, I had a major lust for a former BET VJ/talk show host who is now a successful actor ( who would have think it lol), and I usually would throw a fight party at my house in NOHO whenever there was a major boxing match on pay per-view. Well one night I looked came downstairs I cannot remember why I went upstairs, and I turned around saw this VJ sitting in the middle of the living room with two fine ass women sitting next to him. I looked at him and smile and said you are ….., and he smiled back and said yes. The other one was a certain African American action star turned sitcom actor who I had a major lust for and one day I had a chance meeting with him and he ended up doing some charity work for me. I am sad to disappoint yall because I have no sex stories to share, however what I can tell you is that in person as with most celebrities they are so unusually plain. My most exciting sexual experience and general interactions as always been with plan unknown folks.
lol let me know the blog and time lol
Cool Melbourne and the theory behind anyone give up dick or azz on the first day is based on the fact that if someone give up the azz, pussy, dick, or mouth lol on the first date then they have experience one of the most intense form of intimacy without establishing history, trust, familiarity etc. Just because a top is slinging the dick doesn’t mean that his is does without causing some damage to his sense of self worth.
I hear ya, food for thought. I’m off to bed now. We should do this again, soon, elsewhere not Jamaris blog x x
Well if you feel that you have to compete with a female then I think you have already lost the battle on so many fronts. Rule number one never ever give up the ass on the first date this principle also holds true for women because it is 99.9% probable that the top won’t come back for seconds. This principle also applies to tops who gives up the dick on the first date because the bottom will most likely move on to their next dick more of this in a few lol.
If it is a str8 top and I think if that he is bicurious then he will most likely choose a woman over a man any day for very obvious reasons. I also think that any bottom brothers who feel that they have to compete with women for a man’s dick will do whatever it takes to get the dick, and if they are successful they will feel very empty and bad afterwards (the same principle applies to sex addicts). These bottoms tend to be emotionally unstable not because they choose to be unstable but because they are reacting to a lot of internal pathology. This bottom after he sucked the str8’s dick which is what usually happens if it is the top’s first time. The bottom will feel empty and in order to fill that void then they will move on to the next str8 top hoping that it will be different and then it will become a vicious cycle for them. If it is a closeted bisexual top then I would say in about 80% of the cases he will also choose women over a man again for very obvious reasons lol. If the brother is gay then hey come one he is gay and a woman will never be his first choice over a man ever lol. I hope my perspective answers some of your questions.
It does:)
Thank you Mr Killa. Tbh competing with a woman is a losing game really. Oh no! Its hard not to give it up on the first date lol, esp if the chemistry is hectic! Just being honest.lol
Don’t know if I agree with your top giving up the dick on the first day theory though. x
LOL I try I am not too sure if I am modest and thanks for the compliment lol; I just see myself as trying my best to be honest about my thoughts, feelings, and values. In order to answer your question I would need to know what kind of top are you talking about a potential str8 top, a gay top, or a bisexual top?
You could give a response for all three cos i know we could potentially be dealing with all three; if its not too much trouble of course:-) x
I hear what you are saying but again I never said that not even remotely lol. Here is the short version of what I said in my post:
“I agree with the general consensus of this forum that “one cannot train themselves to be str8 any more that a str8 brother can train himself to be gay. Either you are sexually into men or you are not, however what I like about your over all theme is that if you really want to bag the man of your dream then may need to rethink your strategy especially since your current strategy either brought about very negligible results or no results ever. The truth of the matter is that in almost all societies it is often better to play it towards the middle than subscribing to extreme polar measures. You see this trend in politics, in dietary plans, in spending, in relationships, exercising, in investments etc. I have spoke to a number of bottoms who have been unlucky in love for most of their romantic lives that they said that they would consider becoming verse in order to secure a long term relationship.”
I also said “I am not suggest that you or any one else settle, but I am suggesting that you must look into that your different options may be when it comes to dating and sexuality. “
Mr. Melbourne I am fine and thanks for the complement and yes I am a very sexy brother but a heartbreak never at least not intentionally lol, because I had my heart broken a few times and I would never want to visit that kind of pain on another soul. Regarding you comments that not only baller wolves have the negative characteristics that I assigned to ballers, because this I know so personally. I was attempting to point out that making the accusation of a baller one’s romantic goal in life can be a road filled with a lot of pain. Many people in general think that just because someone is physically attractive, famous, and wealthy that morality, devotion, love, deepness, and intellect automatically come with that package. I met several professional ballers in my life, and most of them were very charming, but I would never want to be in a relationship with them just based on who they were as individuals. Where as I met a lot of average brothers who had so much more to over emotionally, spiritually, and morally than the ballers.
I see your point. All that glitters…
Question for you though, how can a fox hold a mans attention long enough for him to want to be with him longer than one night or one week cos the reality of the situation is that women are beautiful and only some men can have that same effect they have on the wolves…
Ps: I just love your modesty. Very Sexy :p
x x
Yeah well their are several levels of deep psycho-sexual dynamics to the brother from down under post. I am not an advocate of rejecting anyone’s deals as a knee jerk action, nor am I suggesting that you did that. I am an advocate for being objective when hearing someone’s ideals, and I am advocate for always examining one’s opinions, because their are always a multitude of opinions to any one dilemma if a person allows themselves to become flexibility enough to look at them. Mastering this principle I think is the key to success and happiness in life. The main trust of what I was saying in my post to the brother from down under is that whenever someone takes an extreme position (total top, total bottom, conservative, liberal, devout, etc) then they will often face opposition and hurdles galore from the broader aspect of the population. So in making a choice to live life in an extreme way they must understand that they have limited their opinions, and they must learn to be content when experiencing the continual consequences of their myopic choices, or they must seek a broader perspective in order to have access to more opinions. Jesus did this, Dr. King, did this, Harvey Milk did this, Malcolm X did this, and President Obama is doing this. In others words either piss or get off the pot as my mother used to say lol live your life the way you want to but don’t blame others for living their lives the way they choose.
^so become a Hybrid helps that issue?
That is bullshit!
Lol
Hybrids are single and alone too.
They are just more experimental sexually than their Fox counterparts.
Suddenly shifting your sexual role may open you up to more ass/pipe….
But it still isn’t guaranteed to open someone’s heart.
I have seen Hybrids turning full Wolf for a Fox they deem as their dream.
Star Fox is a perfect example since his last relationship was with a Wolf (who wanted to please a Hybrid Wolf and be a Hybrid Fox for a relationship he wasn’t happy in)…
I see your point.
But it is bullshit and until we all fix what it is inside (total top, bottom, vers),
We will all never be happy….
… all while just getting some good sex.
Moderator again you fail to understand what I am saying cause I don’t bullshit, not on something that is so basic loland I thought what I said was clear. I think that for some reason you are stuck on the label “verse,” because I would seriously like you to point out where I said that being verse is the way to go, or where did I say that bottoms are going to be alone? LOL Again all I said was if someone chooses to take on an extreme position in life then they must be prepared to feel the heat. Again I am saying that one should always be reassessing any choice that they are continuing to choose that are not producing the results that they desire. I think what I am saying is very general and very simple and not deep at all. In Newton’s third law of motion he generally states that “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. All choices we make have consequences that are either positive or negative, and that a mature person will accept the consequences of their choices and either learn the live with them or change them.
^from what I was gathering in your comments,
You were making it seem like if all else fails,
A Fox should Become a Hybrid and things will be a okay.
Which lead me to ask then if we all became Hybrids to find a man,
What happens to these strict Wolves?
Because a Hyrbid isn’t a Hybrid without us getting a piece of the pie also.
LOL I am not clear about your question if I am a full wolf lol, and no I am not saying that a fox needs to become verse. As a rule I never answer challenging questions because I have nothing to prove to anybody, and this is how I lived most of my adult life. I suggest you reread my post and what I was attempting to say is clearly there.
^and this is how Foxes have lived most of their lives.
They have no desire to become Hybrids.
But I see your point.
im pretty sure he was going through the im alone phase and felt the need to voice it. whom ever it was will get over it, its like that for like a hour then your friend is gona call and boom its gone. i know this life is full of twist,turns, and bullshit but rember its only temporary. just get you a drink and a blunt of thay good and enjoy life hell im doing that now watching the sorry ass giants. but they all have cakes lol
Omg Jamari! I’m so sorry if my comment somehow inspired any ill feelings. It’s just how I feel at the moment and a conclusion ive come to after being through a couple of situations which i would share but will utilise my better judgement and keep to myself- for now.
The Mary j Blige song is very inspiring as well so thanks for that.
To be Honest Jamari i’m tired. I know u say it’s weak,loserish,etc but it’s the truth. ,I’m from London and I’ve lived in Australia and Ive listened to your stories and stories of men on here about American men as well and trust me when I tell that most of these guys are the same.
Have you noticed that its usually us Foxes who are heart broken and always tryin to elevate each other? I dunno. I guess I should give it time maybe?
I would really like to know what the wolves of this business think about this cos like I said, they have it easy.
I love u Jamari and on some level I guess Ive got to keep faith Alive:)
Ps if u know any London wolves who can cheer a brother up/keep a brother warm (you know how our winters get) give me a hola:-)
Bisous x
thats why they have blogs and such like this. we have to be each others support. we may all have different styles but we all in this thing together. and you in australia if i were you ide jump on the first rugby player i see lol now hit this blunt
Haha u spoke to my heart hun:) I going thru a I hate men phase and I definitely don’t wanna be celibate. Eek. I’m from Melbourne but I live in London and trust me the rugby boys only look good on the pitch. LoL.
An ill be hitting that blunt x x
Ps this is such an amazing forum:) foxes all over the world unite!!
First and foremost,
I apologize for the spelling errors and and bad grammar.
I had to rush out the door and wanted to type it up before I left.
I feel you and I know you are going through it.
WE ALL ARE on some level.
Some of us have someone and feel absolutely alone.
Don’t think meeting a Wolf of any caliber will complete you.
It may make things worst.
But always remember that we have to be put down in order to rise up.
You do not like how your life is going?
Change it.
It will not be an easy journey but if you put your mind to it,
you will achieve.
And even if you do not get a Baller Wolf…
You will find someone who will absolutely adore you.
And when that person comes along, remember to thank God for showing him the light.
He needed it to find you on his dark journey.
😉
Love ya.
Mr. Melbourne:
I think that you may have been a little too hasty in issuing your apology because I think you made some valid points when you said “lso, Wolves have the better end of the deal in this gay business cos they get easy pickings and they also get to do the yummy banging.”
My solution (Which isn’t a solution really, more like a suggestion) is two fold-Either we train ourselves to become straight, or we become tops(or versatile) or just become celibate all together.”
I agree with the general consensus of this forum that “one cannot train themselves to be str8 any more that a str8 brother can train himself to be gay. Either you are sexually into men or you are not, however what I like about your over all theme is that if you really want to bag the man of your dream then may need to rethink your strategy especially since your current strategy either brought about very negligible results or no results ever. The truth of the matter is that in almost all societies it is often better to play it towards the middle than subscribing to extreme polar measures. You see this trend in politics, in dietary plans, in spending, in relationships, exercising, in investments etc. I have spoke to a number of bottoms who have been unlucky in love for most of their romantic lives that they said that they would consider becoming verse in order to secure a long term relationship. I’ve seen this phenom in successful African American women who are top earners earning over six figures per year and who are well educated. In their younger years they usually had very ridged standards for not dating African American men who were not educated or earned less than they do. However as they get older and see that their prospects of having a man, dwindling and with when their biological clock ticking; they will often times broaden their dating parameters in order to secure a man. I am not suggest that you or any one else settle, but I am suggesting that you must look into that your different options may be when it comes to dating and sexuality.
I have maintained in this forum that baller worship is a very irrational practice, because most people who worship ballers really don’t know any Ballers. Additionally Ballers in general are very self absorbed, very shallow, and very flighty if they think their reputation may suffer a serious blow because of an association. I also thinking that bagging a baller is not someone inherent right or manifest destiny ,because they are dealing with several variables they cannot control which is the actions and the desire of their perspective object of affection. In the mean time they may overlook several non-ballers who work hard to give them the world. In many cases if they do snag a baller they will have to live a life where their relationship may never come into the sun. Magic Johson’s alleged lover who he allegedly infected with the HIV virus died without Magic at his side and unnoticed by the world. I have an associate who dated for several years a member of the Tennessee Titian’s and he bagged the baller by just being himself. He never aspired to get a baller, and he was the kindest person. All he wanted was to have a top who he could be with and who would meet his sexual needs. This brother was educated, and he was someone who made his own way in life way before he met his baller and they were a very cute couple and loving couple. I don’t know if he is still with the baller since I lost contact with him years ago, but I do remember talking to him on the phone from the ballers house and how he said sometimes he wish he could go out with his man in public or to visit his family and they know what’s up with him. So man never apologize for speaking your mind to anyone because your thoughts and feelings matter.
^Arent you a full Wolf?
Or, do you like a dick in your Wolf tail?
Because then that doesn’t make any sense….
Your saying that a Fox needs to become a Hybrid in order to be happy.
So if we all turn into Hybrids then we will expect you to bend over so we can lube up and bang your back out.
And I’m sure you have a nice fat ass for us to bang out….
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu3jprK2GE1qddelko1_500.gif
Hi Mr Killa 🙂
How are u today? Can I just say, I hope u look as sexy and assertive as u sound/type. If u do i’d love to at least see a pic; that being said however your type(assertive/sexy) generally are heartbreakers- but I digress 🙂
I did not apologise to Jamari for speaking my mind, I apologised for the fact that my statements might have been a bit upsetting to him judging from his comment-
”We all want to be right or even live life feeling we are right.
But, when someone comes thru and forces you to see a difference in your opinion or even change it,
it can be a real downer and make your life a sad place.”
It was certainly not my intention to put anyone in a sad place (as thats where i reside most days of the week and its not particularly enjoyable) We’re here to learn from each other and just generally acquire skill/support to navigate the choppy waters of this business of the gays in which we operate:)
That being said, I honestly don’t think people should lower their standards because of any pressures they might feel, If you believe, you can achieve. For myself however, i have decided to take a step back and get my self together before I re enter the business 🙂
So you are saying that you are aware of a normal guy who has bagged a baller wolf? Interesting.
To be fair though baller wolves are not the only wolves who demonstrate the attitudes u mentioned (self absorbed, very shallow, and very flighty). Everyday normal wolves do the worst so if the ‘foxdom’ were to abandon the quest for the ballers surely we should also give up hope in wolves in general?
Big Kiss x
^i love that.
Take a step back before you re-enter business.
Sounds like a good plan Melbourne!
Wow!! I didn’t choose this life, but I’ve never expected to have anything less than great… I’m not gonna say that I expect a ball player, because athlete money can be very limited.. But what I will say is to have that expectation you must bring something equally as great to the table!! Be educated, dress well and keep your self up, speak well, climb the professional ladder, don’t be shallow.. Just a few tips on putting yourself in the upper echelon. Because when you have better to offer, the options that you have are better… Putting you in the arena with other successful men that are BALLINNNNN’!!!!!
Exactly!!!!
This is what we are all working on this December.
Glad im not the only that comment disturbed. You can do anything you set your mind to! I feel so empowered right about now, thanks Jamari.