“What about your friendssssssss…”

that is one of my favorite tlc songs next to “creep“.
do we have real friends in our lives?
or do we have stand-ins who will let us down?
there is always a prominent thing that has happened in my life with past friends…

“Jamari,
I’m so glad you aren’t friends with such and such anymore.
They were not your friends.”

i use to hear some variation of that a lot.
it use to make me feel so insecure and downright stupid.
looking back…

It was a compliment and a testament to my character.

it was always people who were in the background,
the girlfriend,
or someone i met briefly that saw more than what i was seeing.
they would me see years later and thrilled to see that i moved on.

when i read about ( x mahogany jackson’s end of her life ) by her so called “friends”,
the ones who took her life in such a heinous way while filming their hatred for the forests to see,
her mother and girlfriend said the same thing:

“We told her they were not good people and not her friends.”

….but she didn’t listen.
when you keep trying to pursue friendships with people who don’t like you,
it causes deep resentment and hatred.
it’s like trying to pursue something a male who doesn’t like you.
God forbid you end up being in the spotlight.

The male of their dreams likes you
You end up becoming more popular
Your light shines brighter than theirs
You end up with more money
You are simply just everything they are not

they may end up killing you.
this is why i learned to bow out gracefully and give it to God.
i did try to fix things but i noticed they were not open to me once i had nothing to offer.
so i left them alone to work on me and here we are.
everyone who did me wrong got exposed in some way.
what is wild to me tho:

They hate you because you keep trying to show them you are a good friend

You leave them alone and they’re upset you aren’t speaking to them anymore

“i need you to pick a fuckin’ struggle bitch”.

Foxhole,
there is no winning with these folks so stop trying.
they’ll assassinate your character once you leave but at least they won’t assassinate you.
it always comes back to bite them in the ass tho.
i wish mahogany jackson would have left those fake friends of hers alone.
may she rest peacefully knowing justice will be served.