R E J E C T E D.
I know you must be wondering why I am posting a blog at damn near 5am in the morning.
No, I am not drunk or high.
I am not crying in my hands listening to Mary J Blige.
Well I should be…
Tonight a Fox got rejected by a football player…
… and I am kinda tite/not really/maybe I will be later…
So, Star Fox invited me to an event tonight that I could not turn down.
It was a low key/invite only chill type of event that was deep in the Concrete Forest.
I knew it was something that I needed to be at.
I put together a hot outfit and was well on my way.
When we arrived, we had to show the invite and was let in afterward.
The crowd was mixed and pretty different from other spots I have been.
White, Black, Spanish… everyone was having their own conversations with glass in hand.
You can tell that these were people that were of “importance”.
The “behind the gates” folks.
We were there for a good hour when I spotted him.
This dark skin Wolf with a nice ass body.
His arms were so muscular that they got my attention first.
He had on a semi tight grey T-shirt, rosary bead, grey jeans, red fitted, and some sneakers.
He was exactly my type and everyone knows what my type is.
I broke away from Star Fox,
who left me to speak to some Spanish exec looking dude,
and I did some maneuvering over to Big N Muscular Wolf.
I felt intimidated a little but “fuck it”, but he was staring at me so I said, “Here goes it…”
“You don’t look like you are having fun?” I asked, after tapping him on his shoulder.
“Why? Because I’m not bouncing around?” He replied, smiling.
“You aren’t smiling.”
“You aren’t either.”
I did not know what to say so I laughed it off.
“What do you do?”
“I play football.”
“God. Thank you.” I said a silent prayer to myself.
Now I never seen him before, but I’m guessing he is a bench warmer.
He wasn’t all over the place and was pretty low key hugging the wall, like he was new to this.
It was like everyone else in the room was intimidated to even speak to him.
I wasn’t going to act phased like Foxes before so I played it cool.
… and then my mind went blank.
I could not figure out anything else to say.
No clever flirting.
Did not want to hit him with some sexually charged comment.
Was not about to appear thirsty.
So, wtf to do next???
“I’ll be right back.” He said, as he walked out the door.
I decided in my head that I was going to ask for his number when he got back.
This way, I can bag him and keep this awkwardness short and sweet.
15 minutes later, he came back in and went to the back of the room, obviously to the bathroom.
He came back and stood by the door close to where I, and a small crowd of people decided to form, was.
I wanted him to come back and stand next to me but he wasn’t.
He looked annoyed and dis-interested.
5 minutes after, he got on his cell and he left.
I blamed myself for 2 minutes I won’t lie.
I went through a ton of insecure thoughts.
But, what is done is done and clearly, he wasn’t the Wolf for me.
No use in crying over the baller that split.
I am sure I will be in the same position again…
… this time I’ll put the proper plays to catch the balls.
I did notice, in my game play review, that I would not look at him too long in his eyes.
Maybe with that, I showed I was nervous in my eyes or not interested in his.
“Yo did you see that fine dude in the red fitted that was in here earlier?” Star Fox asked,
as I stood there with my tail between my legs.
I politely nodded my head and told him I was ready to bounce.
All I could think walking towards that cab was:
32 thoughts on “Incomplete Pass”
im sure you’ve done that to plenty of guys, but when it happens to you it’s a big deal right?… he didn’t really reject you anyway, he said he’d be right back, he came back, you didnt continue talking to him for whatever reason, and then he left.
…& what was wrong with the guy who complimented u? sounds like he was hitting on u, he probably went through the same thing you did lol
u should try to get the info/become friends with whoever threw the party/invited the guess, that could be really good networking…..
that would be ur settle situation jamari…might as well go for what u really need and want over being a jumpoff
Not calling them an asshole to their FACE, that’s different. Its your mind, we can label anyone however we like. Everyone has their own process.
We can agree to disagree…in your mind or out loud, doesn’t matter to me. Especially if they didn’t do anything a-hole-like. It seems like a way to shift blame unnecessarily
We all have our own process.
Er…………. I may be missing something I am not sure if the function you attended was a DL function or not? If it wasn’t couldn’t just simply be that the brother wasn’t down?
It was a D/L and discreet function that was invite only.
i know ur position on it jamari…but u have to acknowledge that even though u idolize that kind of guy…the D/L Bit as a foundation is shaky in most cases…what if u made it to the next step u get the hookup then u want to make it serious and he dips out on u then..there are exceptions of course but mostly that DL thing doesnt continue like a fairy tale
What about a friends with benefits?
And that kind of “idolization” can also be a bit of the problem. We build these dudes up to be so much. Too the type of guy that we’re interested in (although I don’t limit myself to ballers) is so rare that when we do luck up on one, we go ape shit internally trying to “complete the pass” because we don’t know the next time we’ll encounter another. I was given some great advice the other day. Be as friendly and kind and engage everyone the same. That way there is no shoulda coulda wouldas because you were being yourself. If someone can’t get with that and meet you half way I’m not sure its worth questioning yourself over anyway.
In the grand scheme of things though *applause* for breaking out of your shell. us werewolves welcome you haha
Maybe he was a hybrid…
I’m gonna be a little different & say that yes, you did freeze up, but don’t beat yourself up about it. We can’t play ‘what ifs’ cuz then we’ll miss the ‘right now.’ Count it as a lesson learned & use it to build on for the future. On the positive side, you approached a dude! *horns & confetti*
Now you know you can do that — next step is to keep the convo going/flowing. And recognize you can do everything right & still come up w/a goose-egg…it happens & it’s not your fault — nor his
I gotta cosign on what YngBlkWolf said. Things happen for a reason and regret is not something you should traffic in, especially when Big n Muscular led you to believe a hookup was imminent. Shake it off, ruminate a little, but keep it movin.’
YngBlkWolf: hit me up at my email. [email protected]. Gotta ask u something.
Look at it this way babe, your making progress. And like Vain says you dont know how things are on his end…suppose he was there incognito checking up on his partner of 3 years? Or he is insecure? You just never know. Couple weeks ago, you could not fathom approaching a Wolf and now you did…baby steps. And your not alone, many times I forget what to say and remember it AFTER I finish talking to that person.
That was me in the cab!
I was moreso on “I finally meet a baller (and a finger lickin fine one) and I screw it up….”
But everyone left good comments today and in doing my own soul searching,
I did everything I was suppose too.
Proud I actually went up to him and did not have a “well I saw a sexy football player last night… Did not approach… but I will next time” entry….
We growin’ y’all!
Lol I’ve seen the movie (multiple times) and have the book. But i still believe that it isn’t always disinterest. SOMETIMES things happen on their end that we don’t know about. That we may not be aware of. I’ve met men who weren’t necessarily disinterested so much as they didn’t know how to communicate, read the meaning of another person’s actions, or even approach themselves. It’s easy to come to the conclusion that he’s not the interested because often times that’s the case. But it isn’t always.
But don’t those initial issues usually lend to more problems down the line? I.e. Someone that isn’t great at communication which is key for any relationship (sex or more) to work, inability to tackle situations and things they want without flaking out. Come on now, we want MEN right? Of course no one is perfect but damn lol
Someone needs to borrow my copy of “He’s Just Not That Into You” lol cause you sound just like the women in that movie (meant in good humor). I think we need to learn to be OK with the worst case scenario which is “maybe he just want that into me” WHICH IS COOL. I mean everyone isn’t gonna be. But we can’t let the fact get us down and feel like the world ended or like we sneezed on the Queen of England. I’m learning to be ok with that and its making things that much better because I go into it without expectations. Don’t know if that helps or not :-\
Dust yourself off and try again. You getting close to catching that elusive Baller Wolf. I see it in the headlines already lol
If that makes the headlines,
I did something wrong lol!
Don’t feel bad Jamari all things work out for the best. Just think you were on the 5 yard line on 4th and 1 and decided to go for it but got stoped. At least you tried and by him being at a gathering like that you know he gets down with the fox hole. Next time talk about how good/bad the party is first and keep talking to gauge his reactions and when u get the right topic them BAM!!! U got him.
I completely understand your frustration. It sucks when things don’t turn out the way we’d like them to. But that thinking isn’t fair. What makes you think you had something to do with it? He may have been having a bad night and not wanted to be there. May have experienced a recent break up or bad accident and he’s out trying to get his mind off of it. He was clearly standing by himself for a reason. It may not have been that he was necessarily disinterested in you but because he was overall.. just… over it. You don’t know the whole story so you can’t always assume the reasons for his actions.
Plus, you are not responsible for his disinterest in you should that be the case. He may very well be lazy and expect someone else to do all the chasing. We often internalize a man’s rejection as somehow being a reflection on who we are. In situations like that, i just tell myself that he’s an asshole and probably has a thing for ugly or fat bytches… and i feel better.
That was meant to be a reply to Vain’s comment.
Or, maybe instead of denigrating him (or her – he’s an azzhole/b*tch/ain’t all that), or going into a pity party of woe is me/what’s wrong with me…how about we just do the mature thing & chalk it up to wrong person, wrong time? He might not be interested, but that’s okay – I haven’t meant the right one yet.
Why call someone else out their name to make you feel better? If there was something you could have done better, then note that, but otherwise just pay it & keep moving *shrug*
I am now thinking of my accomplishments of “went up and tried to bag” instead of “what if and why not”.
I may see him at another one of those invite only gatherings and get the digits.
Another Wolf I was speaking to before I saw Big N Muscular Wolf told me I had a beautiful smile and was one of the best looking/best dressed that night.
That gave me the drive to keep getting on with the get on.
Do. Not. Trip. I’ve been in the same situation and the natural response is to think “what did I /didn’t I do?” First of all, it wasn’t your job to carry the conversation. He should have picked up where you left off. Even if he wasn’t into you, just out of courtesy to the fact you came up to speak. I guarantee that same laziness translates to the bedroom so you aren’t missing much.
Two. How rude is it to dismiss someone with “be back”. He could have at least said “hey it was nice meeting you I gotta check somethin real quick.” We want men and sounds he didnt couldn’t qualify if he wanted so chin up.
He wasn’t for you. Don’t worry, you will meet that Baller and you will know he is the one! Hang in there!
i woke up feeling a lot of things today…
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