[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvahpROFPhA]
(lil kim murdered that verse.)
anyway….
i often wondered if men are supposed to have standards?
i always hear that we are always supposed to be DTF.
we meet someone online/in the club and spread it the same night.
anything else is how vixens are supposed to be treated.
they are the ones who need to be pampered.
they are the ones who get the vip life.
this is why all the vixens who are hoes get the husband,
while the gay guy who is a hoe gets HIV.
as a fox who clearly loves himself,
am i suddenly supposed to turn that off to meet a wolf?
am i suppose to be easy to get something that is hard?
looking online and all around,
i see what happens to people who forget their value.
on the flip of a coin,
i also see what it is like to hold your value and be alone.
i started to wonder…
Are men in this lifestyle supposed to be valuable?
i am a fox.
caramel in complexion.
handsome.
swimmer’s build.
good hair because i got indian in my family (kiddin).
humble.
shy.
funny.
smart ass.
down to earth.
my own crib.
freak.
i don’t have that much bodies in this lifestyle.
I have dated wolves in the past who were “somebodies”.
from various wolves that i did let get some,
they have all said i have good tight cheeks.
some have even came 3 to 5 within stickin the pipe in.
don’t drink or smoke.
i like to dress and stay clean.
i have friendships that span 15 years and counting.
i am a good listener and excellent at planning.
i work well with people.
i have years of various work experience.
i have a successful blog going to about 3 million views.
readers from all parts of the world who check me out daily.
amazing people who comment daily and give great talk.
why would i not hold myself to a higher standard than the everyday fox?
i like to think that i am beyond “come over and lets fuck”
is it wrong to recognize your value?
to hold your butt cheeks in a higher standard?
value is what you KNOW you are worth.
sometimes i feel we shut it off when it comes to men and settle for anything.
“he is so cute so i’m sure his raw dick is safe!”
“fuck getting to know him… let’s fuck!”
funny enough,
i look at other foxes online and i don’t sweat them.
they could have more money or lighter yellow skin,
and deep down inside,
i know i am better than them.
they all do the same shit.
suck the same dicks.
get the same tats.
i’m trying to stand out from the crowd.
not blend.
i know my worth and my talents.
i know that i’m not some fly by night fox whose only good at doing a split.
i have worked hard to be taken seriously in life.
….but is that my downfall?
that i actually give a fuck about my life?
i know many people who laughed at me.
they said i was too “serious”.
well they are all burned out,
battling some disease,
or lost with no plan.
i’m not where i need to be,
but i’m not exactly lost in translation.
i started to wonder about the value we place on ourselves.
do we feel we deserve better?
or, do we fall into the trap of what society tells us what we deserve?
i’m not saying you can’t have fun.
shit have fun and live a little.
just know the next day you wake up that life goes on.
so i had to ask…
Are you valuable?
I feel like there is a big disconnect when it comes to primary and secondary values when it comes to yourself and others. Sure, you may have a good career, few sexual partners, and knowledge of our nation’s political system, that does not mean the men you’re interested in care about those things AT ALL. Society tells us in order to be a good partner, you must look good on paper. We sell ourselves to men like we’re going into a job interview. Imagine if a guy came up to you and said “You should be with me because I don’t drink or smoke, I’m funny, I make X amount of money, I have good hair, I dress well, I can draw, and I get along well with other’s.” What about those things makes him a good life partner for you? Do any of those things speak to his ability to be in a relationship with someone else and BE GOOD AT IT? This is how many of us sound when we list off all of our “great qualities” and what “WE” personally feel “SOMEONE ELSE” S-H-O-U-L-D deem as “valuable.”
I also think the biggest thing we’re missing and what hoes and others we deem as “unworthy” do best: Connect with men E-M-O-T-I-O-N-A-L-L-Y. SO THE FUCK WHAT if you have a nice car, speak 3 languages, live in your own apartment, have a steady gym regimen, buy expensive clothes, and can do a backflip in the bedroom? If you are not connecting with men where it count, they well sleep with you, entertain your small talk, and get an ego stroke, but they will not lock you down. They will look at all those things and say “good for you” and keep it moving. Why? Because he’s not connected to you EMOTIONALLY. He does not place you in the “Mean’s Something To me” box and will easily let you go. When men get emotionally attached, they will tattoo your likeness on themselves, call you all the time, do whatever it takes to see you, remember little things that you like, put up with whatever bullshyt you throw at them, and maybe even kill themselves AND/OR you, if you leave them. None of the things most people list under “Reasons Why You Should Fall In Love With Me” have anything to do with what it takes to make that actually happen. If you do not know how to communicate in ways to make him think you’re worth it, if you do not know how to understand how men communicate their feelings, if you do not know how to behave in ways that make men think you are special, if you do not know how men actually become emotionally attached… you’re swimmer’s build, your resume, your choice in bath soaps, and ability to put finger to keyboard mean absolutely nothing in realm of dating, love, and relationships.
Disclaimer: I do acknowledge that there are plenty of broken men out there. Men who date from a negative place. Men who believe looking a certain way makes you a good partner. Men who have poor dating habits, commitment-phobia, and prefer the fringe benefits of a relationship without the energy and time and follow through that it takes to be in a healthy relationship. However, those are not the men one should seek to make connections with if they are looking for a positive partnership.
^i loved your comment.
made me turn my music off.
i only do that when i need to take in the message lol
i gave your comment the mental homework entry.
We all should have some standards no matter who or whom you are why settle for a guy when you know he is no good and think one must take care of them all the time I say HELL NO!!!!
It’s not wrong. But low-key sometimes I feel the heaux, trannys, jackals, and old white men be winning.
J i keep saying why is it that a vixen is worthy of VIP treatment when i am the one taking pipe and keeping the dick happy no it does not work like that i have value for me and i have set standards for relationship but as you said this is were my problem begin i get call gold digger, tease what ever else they could throw at me.
Yea, I do think that I am very valuable. Everyone is valuable right? I believe so, it just takes a good inner self evaluation to even notice. I have morals, I’m smart, wise, multi-talented, respectful, and I have tried my hardest to make the best out of my life thus far. Those are qualities I have that make me different from everyone else, and separates me from the boys. Notice I didn’t type anything about my looks. I did that on purpose lol. A cute face, a big tight ass, and muscles are not valuable to me. Anyone can have those traits, so no one could say that they are valuable because of that. Over the years, I have always believed that some of my friends only probably like me for my looks. I’m going to start calling people out on that. I had a friend tell me one time that if I didn’t look good she wouldn’t talk to me. I was kinda hurt by that if I must say. That let me know that nowadays everything is based on looks, outside is more important than inside. SMH. It’s a damn shame. A person who is attractive can get into a freak accident tomorrow with their face damaged for life, and people wouldn’t want to be around them because of that. The thought of that person possibly still having their personality wouldn’t even matter to anyone.
^this was actually really excellent.
the part about your face being disfigured in a freak accident stood out to me.
imagine how many of these attention whores would lose their minds if that happened?
If I were to lose my looks I would be discouraged, but wouldn’t we all? Some would just be more discouraged than others. Imagine the ones who live their lives off their looks? Steven Beck, George Hill or LL Burrell. I guess they would crawl into a hole.
^mass suicides.
lol
Totally agree wit this post.
I should send you pics of them just so you can see what they look like.
I like the fact neither looks stereotypical and all of them are under 25. You would probably think they’re just friends hanging out if you can zero in on body language, but none of them are D.L.
I listen to them talk and I’m baffled.
How do you even get to that point where you can learn someone’s favorite movies, what they eat, and damn near finish their sentences?
^i’m curious to see what they look like.
send to my email
Dang I want to know too… Lol… Sometimes I am so drawn in on the personal commentary lol… But it is reassuring to here about these couples! 2 pts for us lol
basically instead of being on online services all day,
they had better shit to do.
I’ve been introduced to two young couples and both met through being in the same circles and through friends.
I observed in both instances how they genuinely seemed to be close friends. The interaction wasn’t lustful like I’m used to seeing.
At this point, the only ones online are attention whores or just whores.
^i love when you drop shit like this.
makes me know some better shit is coming.
i have only seen this with straight relationships sadly.
maybe i knew too many hoes?
Being “valuable” entails having values.
Much of what gay/bi men value and hold in high regard is…different.
Even you felt the need to list how you’re a freak on a list of what makes you valuable as a person or to a potential mate. I find it to be like fine print for most people. Like “I have all these great qualities that you should want, but don’t worry I can give you the smash of a lifetime in case none of the other stuff seals the deal”.
No one escapes the pervasive, hyper-sexual, shallow culture. It is what it is.
^i feel this lifestyle has two areas:
focus or fuckin.
one or the other.
then when you figure out how to focus correctly,
the fuckin somehow comes together.
Care to elaborate?
What do you mean by focus?
^some people focus on their education or jobs.
they go out there and make a living for themselves.
after they do that,
they start meeting people they maybe interested in and vice versa.
that is when the fuckin’ starts.
i know people in corporate or even entertainment that met people (big names) they wanted to fuck/date through being focused and being at the right places at the right time.
Hell yeah I’m valuable and I definitely have high standards. I’ve accomplished too much and look too damn good, if i don’t say so myself, to be sleeping with just anybody. It may seem like hoes be winning but when they reach their 30s and beyond they are thrown to the trash like the cum rag they are, just saying.
^that’s what i’m saying.
it’s a different ball game for people in the lifestyle.
we take shit as a joke and think it’s cute because you got a couple straight lookin’ wolves to beat it down.
wake up and see you nothing but a cum rag with no nothing.
you gonna be highly upset.
plus,
this economy is not kind to BLACKS,
male or female.