i just want him to want me back (am i asking for the stars? i might just be)

i never get the wolf i want.
ever.
like,
ever,
ever.
i always have the pleasure of attracting the ones i want,
but we always have this intense moment until something splits us up.
no cap,
but they always end up having:

BIG.
BETA.
ENERGY.

all bark; no bite especially where i want to be bit.
it never fails

i know its not me because i leave the gate wide open with the porch light on.
all the wolves i really wanted wasting my time.
shit,
we never even kissed.
it was always this game of “duck-duck-wolf“,
which is always the exciting part,
but they always chose someone else and left me waiting for another turn.
i can name about 2 wolves in recent history i’ve wanted with this outcome.

for once,
i’d like the wolf i want to want me back.
hard
.
like,
want me fuckin’ hard af.
want me so hard i’m worn tf out and i’m beggin’ for more.

i’m fully aware that males think i’m fine.
sometimes,
i can be their ultimate fantasy.
even tho i don’t think so at times,
something attracts them but they love playing games with me until they find someone else.
usually,
it’s someone cute and boring.
someone who puts up with their shit and does as they’re told.
it’s never someone as exciting as i am.
it’s always someone who tends to chase them as they chased me.

Universe,
besides all the other things i ask for,
i want him to boldly want me back.
“him” is anyone that moves my meter as well.
thats all.
can i get an alpha wolf who will recognize the amazing in me and come get it?
one who is attractive to me as i am to them?
no more beta wolves,
please and thank you.

lowkey: i think this is why i’m always “the whore”?
the girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife is never like me.

5 thoughts on “i just want him to want me back (am i asking for the stars? i might just be)

  1. Focus on you and your life. Especially finances and stop focusing on love. This is why it’s falling apart bc your life isn’t in order enough so it’s blocked….

  2. This is a bit contradictory. You say alpha then he ends up with someone who does as they’re told. Which is it? Want him to lay down the law or not?

    Last guy I talked to told me to watch 50 Shades of Grey and if I’d be okay with a relationship like that. I thought he was joking. He wasn’t. He seems so quiet, meek and humble so him wanting to dominate that intensely scared me. I said so. He felt it. He said he liked the idea of making me want that. But I don’t.

    I’ve noticed I attract men with very extreme fetishes and kinks. I don’t know many who are “vanilla”. I asked why they don’t pursue guys with their kinks and they find it boring. They all like me because I’m not into what they’re into. So they want to break me in and make me like what they do.

    So Jamari, maybe you need to wait around and let somebody who’s into something you’re not into…make you like it? I don’t know. I’m stubborn. Been told my desire to not submit will leave me single forever. I’m cool with that. Not into making a man feel like a man. We’re both men. That “he has the final say” is for the gays that like it. Screams daddy issues to me, but what do I know?

    1. ^ when i say “do as their told”,
      most of these males love playing hard to get.
      they want someone to chase them around,
      blow up phones,
      and they give 70-20.
      honestly,
      that sounds like most dating situations.

      i want someone who is interested in me and makes effort to show their interest.
      i don’t have to question if they’re interested in me.
      there is no confusion.
      they genuinely want to be friends and are interested in my life.
      i’m not asking for much.
      all the males that have been interested in me wanted me to chase them around aimlessly.
      they ended up getting with those who do,
      but they always still want me and never do anything about it.

      i hope that makes sense.
      dating men is hard.

    2. Seli that reminds me of them tops that would rather break in another top than choose to fuck the plethora of bottoms ready & willing to open up for them. People like that are weirdos.

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