how to get pulled out the closet before you’re ready: the samira wiley story

i related 1000% with the following story.
i think it’s absolutely disgusting as it’s happened to me.
some of us are out to our closest friends and family,
but not the general public as a whole.
that is totally fine.
samira wiley,
who played “poussey” on “orange is the new black”,
spoke about her feelings after being outed by a co star.
i felt what she had to say via “the daily mail”

‘Someone from my cast, actually, they were doing an interview when they were talking about out gay actors in the cast and they mentioned my name and I saw it in print and I cried, I cried a lot,’ the actress told hosts Tobin Low and Kathy Tu.

She added: ‘And I, like, tried to get it taken down and, look, I had a journey, you guys, it was not all always super open-hearted and like I’m a gay, gaymo.’

The most heartbreaking part of the experience, Samira explained, was that she felt like she was robbed of the opportunity to come out of her own terms — something she wouldn’t be able to get back after the news was made public by someone else.

‘More specifically, that’s something that somebody took from me,’ she added. ‘Everyone’s journey is their own, you should be able to come out on your own terms.’

it’s alleged it was this one who did it:

she looks like the type who can’t hold water.
this happened to me a recent past job.
so i was cool with this one vixen.
it was around the time pride in dc was going on.
we are in front of a ton of co workers,
shootin’ the shit about our weekends,
and she mentioned how she went to dc to see her “cousin”.
next thing you know,
she looks at me and goes:

“So did you go?
Why weren’t you down there?”

excuse me?
mind you,
all my co workers were looking in my direction like,
“huh?”.
i never talked to her about my dating or sex life.
she never hinted to me before that she thought i was gay.
we kept it real neutral.
it ended with this awkward silence and the subjected changed.
that wasn’t a good feeling and i never spoke to her again.
i had to tell a few foxholers about it in emails.

i see people,
not just other gays,
doing this and it really fuckin’ sucks.
you can assume someone is gay all you want,
but if they haven’t confirmed,
don’t take it upon yourself to do it for them.
we font about many who might be “gay” or “bi” on the foxhole,
but unless they let the forests know,
i will continue to assume they’re straight.
i’m glad samira was able to move past that.
i can imagine many of us share the same sentiments as her.

lowkey: do folks realize coming out is a big step?
like,
it’s hard enough sharing a piece to your closest,
but with strangers too?
folks really need to stop being so tone deaf.
like,
what’s YOUR story to tell?
why are you so concerned with someone else?

article cc: the daily mail

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

4 thoughts on “how to get pulled out the closet before you’re ready: the samira wiley story

  1. It really vexes me that people assume a person is gay by the way they “act”. I had a situation on my last job where I became close with a male co worker. We would go on trips together, just hang out & have drinks after work, sometimes even take off together on the same day to just go to the casino. People at the job assumed we were a couple, especially since we weren’t whoring around the office. Btw almost every woman at that place would be after my friend & he wouldn’t give them no play. Honestly I did enjoy the looks on the women’s faces when they thought I was getting something they couldn’t…lol

    1. ^good for you.

      it’s really insulting when people do this.
      it’s on jackal levels of ignorance to me.
      someone can “act” or “look” gay and be completely straight.
      not everyone is a stereotypical “jock” out here and even those types are huge pillow princesses.

  2. Out gay people are so ready to out everybody else, like seriously worry about your own shit. Years ago, I was at this gay bookstore getting some magazines when unbeknownst to me a white out gay co-worker who I never said anything too, came up to me to say hello, more than anything friendly it was I caught ya, also the same with a white lesbian I worked with who was at a restaurant and saw me walking in the gayborhood, I never seen her, but she let me know she saw me, and I wanted to say-Bih I dont fool with you so why you telling me this shit. White gays are the worse, they want to bring everybody out with them. No matter who I see I out, I am never going to say a damn thing to anybody at the job. For one, it is a much different experience with Black gays than white gays coming out, we are judged more harshly and we will probably miss out or lose opportunities, especially those in the public eye. I have seen some people out who hell I did not even think was gay and hell they still might not be, they may have just been out enjoying a friend but whatever the case may be, when I go out it is like Vegas. I wish people would learn to mind their business.

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