i’ll move on!”
the hardest part is trying to let go when you see the person everyday.
the things that turned you on about them,
their positives and oddities,
are the same things that make you feel disgusting.
“you shouldn’t feel like this!”
thats the people in your background.
the ones who point fingers and laugh.
sometimes i wonder if anyone has ever been in a situation like mine?
or is everyone just use to being a hoe that men are just disposable?
well what if you want to let go of your feelings,
but something keeps pulling you back?
so my home-vixen came to my job to visit.
she is the one i spoke about ( x here ).
and a majority of my department were not in.
as i was showing her around the office and whats not,
work wolf texted me...
“yo who is that?
she is beautiful.”
“she is a good friend of mine”
“i think so”
this was probably not my most brilliant decision.
she was going to be “too close to home”.
when i was really:
so i texted him to meet us on his floor.
i told her there was someone i wanted her to meet.
i never told her about him prior to them meeting.
when we got down there,
i introduced and they shook hands.
well after 10-15 minutes of convo,
she said she had to get back to her office.
he didn’t get her number.
“so what did you think?
he is interested in you.”
i don’t think he is interested in me jamari.”
“what do you mean?”
“his whole vibe told a different story.
the way he looks at you…”
“he barely even spoke to me.
he was all in your face.
i’m pretty sure he wants you.
if he is trying to keep his sexuality a secret,
he isn’t doing a good job.”
i laughed somewhere at that point.
a very nervous laugh.
“…but he isn’t gay tho.”
“well he definitely isn’t straight either.”
see this is the shit…
she told me before she got in the elevator she isn’t interested anyway.
he isn’t her type,
plus she told me there is a new wolf in her life.
when i got to my desk,
he texted me:
“thats my future wife.
you gotta hook me up with her.”
i don’t know whats going on with this whole “work wolf” thing,
but every time i try to let go of the feelings i have,
some fuck shit happens.
is god trying to play a joke on me?
is star fox behind this?
maybe letting go its just not meant to be?