i did not see that coming tonight.
i’ve been into all the current harvey weinstein alleged allegations.
it’s been the alleged talk in hollywood for years now.
he isn’t the only one with alleged smoke coming out their forest.
having talent is not easy.
being good looking can be a curse.
they gas you up into thinking:

“YOU’RE THE NEXT BIG THING!’

…but at what price?
as a cub,
you sang/danced/acted/modeled in front of a mirror.
you pretended your bedroom was the main stage.
think: grammys or even the bet awards.
you spent countless hours working on your craft.
you took lessons or even majored in college to perfect it.
some,
it’s a good given natural talent.
i know.
i’ve been there.
the problem is when you have no connections in the industry.
hollywood.
bright lights; big city.
you are literally starting from the bottom up.
that means you gotta hustle harder than some of the others.
the “big break” is a phone call away.
nepotism is their business card.
yours is:

hitting the pavement
getting rejected
having your self esteem lowered

…only to do it over and over again.
you get some little gigs here and there,
but the ultimate goal is your name in lights.
it’s tough and can almost be defeating.
that is until you meet someone…

they like you and see the fire in your eyes.

“oh,
you’re definitely a star!”

they hype you up into falling in love with your future.
that is…
until you sleep with them.
a catch.
always a catch.
only until they had a chance of being inside you,
that’s when they’ll put in some calls.
so you’re stuck in a hard position…

TO FUCK OR NOT TO FUCK?
TO SUCK THEIR DICK OR NOT SUCK THEIR DICK?

as a straight male,
the world will be in the palm of your paws until been with another male.
is your straightness not as fragile anymore?
it’s never someone attractive either.
it’s always someone ugly or fat.
he was the “nerd” or reject in high school.
now they have some kind of power,
they want to fuck everyone.
literally.

let’s say you do sell your soul.
you ain’t doing it once and you get put on.
you can spend months,
even years,
fuckin’ this “someone” and getting nowhere.
if you don’t,
you may burn a bridge or even face blacklisting.
i applaud those who made it not laying on their backs or open mouths.
they know what that grind is like.
i imagine all those trying to make it are faced with these decisions.
it is all luck.
your body parts or sexual skills may not guarantee you success.
after being used,
abused,
literally getting shitted on,
fuckin/suckin multiple folks,
you could end up with nothing.
i guess that might be a hustle too.

“Who do I have to suck/fuck to make it?”

it’s hard to have talent and trying to make it in hollywood.

Is it even worth it?

lowkey: this alleged quote from marylin monroe…

“I’ll never have to suck another Jewish cock again!”

…always stood out to me.
jewish or not,
i bet many in hollywood who made it share the same sentiments.