“How have you been?”

at this point,
we haven’t spoken for a month now.
some messages get answered; many don’t.
it was never like that with us.
she has been crazy busy with her new job so it’s understandable.

“I’m good.
I have cancer but I’m great…”

“Wait,
what”…

ever since karaoke told me a few nights ago,
i’ve been in kind of a daze tbh.
karaoke found out last week during a routine mammogram.
it’s not life-threatening but the potential is there if it isn’t addressed.
when someone you love drops a bombshell like that on you,
it really puts life into perspective.
during that moment,
you realize that many things don’t matter.
none of these wolves,
money issues,
“the grind“,
clout on social media,
and other stupid things that bring anxiety don’t matter.

she is being really strong about it.
that’s my karaoke for ya.
i’ve always admired her for that.
i held in my emotions for a while until i listened to this one adele song.
my tear ducts broke like one of the levees during katrina.
i’ve been processing my emotions,
remembering good moments and fortune-telling potential dark ones,
but trying to make sense of it all as they come.

#fuckcancer