i was OD waiting for pillion to be released.
it stars alexander johan hjalmar skarsgård and harry melling.
we fonted about it ( x here ).
here i thought i’d have to wait until it was in the movies.

…and then i saw HD GIFS of scenes from the movie.
my favorite.

i read the book,
“box hill” by adam mars-jones,
and ended up hating that experience.
so when i watched the movie from the comfort of the temporary home,
i instantly noticed the differences.
i’ll try my best not to font too much spoilers…

The Foxhole knows when i’m going through something,
my spirit picks an album for me to process.

i was never a broadway kind of fox.
that was karaoke’s thing.
she is a full blown theater vixen,
who has found her way into acting in plays.
well,
i’m here to font you….

so i watched the “wicked for good” trailer and bawled.

the young me,
that frowned every time karaoke played the broadway soundtrack for the original “wicked”,
would judged at the current me.
tbh:

i hate i didn’t get into wicked sooner.

back then,
i was so concerned with fitting into spaces that never welcomed me,
i really missed a story that reflected my life back to me.

it’s funny how the things we react when we are ashamed of ourselves,
eventually come back to heal or teach us a lesson.

when i watched the first “wicked” movie last year,
i didn’t expect to relate to “the green one” so deeply…

…allegedly fonting,
of course.

so i randomly learned alexander skarsgård is best friends with jack mcbrayer,
who was on “kenneth” on “30 rock“.
i discovered this while not minding my business:

…and i thought it was really sweet tbh.
i love when i discover two people you’d never think are friends.

i made me realize the “friendships” with my polar opposites in my own life,
ones who we kept our friendships private,
they were either scared DLs or using me for my warmth.
Foxhole,
please be careful of these males only using you under the disguise of “friendship”.

while i was looking into more stuff about “pillion”,
which alexander stars in,
i learned he casually admitted recently that he allegedly dealt with other males before…

when i saw the poster for the new movie from a24,
“pillion“,
i knew exactly what that collar represents.
someone i was talking to recently introduced me to the sub/dom culture.
it was something that i heard about but never knew the inner workings of.

i found it sexy AF when he told me that he put a collar on his last partner.
the collar represents that as a dom,
you are his.
the collar isn’t always metal btw.

he told me how when he was in the bedroom with his sub(s)…

sometimes,
i ask myself:
what forest am i living in right now?
it’s seems like a combo platter of:

a) a dream
b) a whole other timeline
c) hell
d) God’s new vision for the unserious
e) all of the above

absolutely nothing makes sense anymore.
tbh,
i don’t nothing will ever be the same.
we are too far down this circus to come out the other side.
remember ^that vixen up there?
she is the one that put the gorilla glue in her hair?

her name is tessa and because we are in the forest of the unserious,
she is going to star in a movie about,
well…