so i watched the “wicked for good” trailer and bawled.

the young me,
that frowned every time karaoke played the broadway soundtrack for the original “wicked”,
would judged at the current me.
tbh:

i hate i didn’t get into wicked sooner.

back then,
i was so concerned with fitting into spaces that never welcomed me,
i really missed a story that reflected my life back to me.

it’s funny how the things we react when we are ashamed of ourselves,
eventually come back to heal or teach us a lesson.

when i watched the first “wicked” movie last year,
i didn’t expect to relate to “the green one” so deeply…

…allegedly fonting,
of course.

so i randomly learned alexander skarsgård is best friends with jack mcbrayer,
who was on “kenneth” on “30 rock“.
i discovered this while not minding my business:

…and i thought it was really sweet tbh.
i love when i discover two people you’d never think are friends.

i made me realize the “friendships” with my polar opposites in my own life,
ones who we kept our friendships private,
they were either scared DLs or using me for my warmth.
Foxhole,
please be careful of these males only using you under the disguise of “friendship”.

while i was looking into more stuff about “pillion”,
which alexander stars in,
i learned he casually admitted recently that he allegedly dealt with other males before…

when i saw the poster for the new movie from a24,
“pillion“,
i knew exactly what that collar represents.
someone i was talking to recently introduced me to the sub/dom culture.
it was something that i heard about but never knew the inner workings of.

i found it sexy AF when he told me that he put a collar on his last partner.
the collar represents that as a dom,
you are his.
the collar isn’t always metal btw.

he told me how when he was in the bedroom with his sub(s)…

sometimes,
i ask myself:
what forest am i living in right now?
it’s seems like a combo platter of:

a) a dream
b) a whole other timeline
c) hell
d) God’s new vision for the unserious
e) all of the above

absolutely nothing makes sense anymore.
tbh,
i don’t nothing will ever be the same.
we are too far down this circus to come out the other side.
remember ^that vixen up there?
she is the one that put the gorilla glue in her hair?

her name is tessa and because we are in the forest of the unserious,
she is going to star in a movie about,
well…

Disembodied (adj): separated from or existing without the body.

watching “queer” last night,
i realized i was the main character with a twist.
i never financially paid for another male but i did pay emotionally.
lee (played by daniel craig) had me in my feelings at 12 am.

at first,
i thought the movie was weird but as i watched,
i started to fully understand the story…

Everyone and their mama has been asking me if i saw Sinners.

i haven’t but i do did plan to see it.
you’ll soon see how i fucked up.
many people i know,
including Foxholers,
told me go see it in the theater NOW.

“Yes sir!”

i forgot that i had a voucher for a free ticket to see wicked last year.
i never saw wicked in the theater because it came out on digital shortly after.
so i went to AMC and booked a ticket to see sinners for this week.

“70mm,” it said.

i heard this is how you’re supposed to see this movie.
uh,
no.
this is the part i learned that i fucked up…