i always appreciate the love.
i love the emails.
it keeps me going especially when things get dark in my world.
it just takes an email like this one to make the sun come out…

Continue reading “f0xmail: A Thank You Letter (1)” →

another one.
and a deep one at that…

Hey whats Up Jamari…

Since I think of you like a friend in my head *quote on quote Wendy Williams* I wanted to come to you about a situation and I know you will be honest and was hoping you can help….

So I am HIV Positive, and have been for three years now, and it has been a hard road for me but i have been strong since I was diagnosed, I recently got out of a relationship and my ex told me that he had been hearing things from people that i am naive, and dumb..he also said that I like to play the victim and at this point its getting a little played out and some ways I don’t feel like I am, people know but its only in certain groups that people don’t like me because of it, or they think i’m nasty or a whore,but was raped by two people who didn’t tell me in a attempts I try not to be a victim and want others to feel sorry for me, but I have emotions that are sometimes very sensitive, The nature of who I am is very passive and a sensitive person, he told me the victim role I play is getting a little worn out (dassel in distress and thatI need to grow up and basically stop using it as an excuse, how do I get over being a victim, and recently he cheated on me and I brought it up to him because I guess I’m hurt and the person he is with is still having a friendship/sex with them and isn’t talking to me, I guess blaming him is a way of being a victim but however would you know know what I can do,  I’m going on 21 and I cant be miserable and depressed forever, its hard and I really want to be happy not miserable all the time, its not fun, and I want to be in love but guys seem to leave me after five months maybe i’m doing something, all I get is that I have good sex never a full term relationship, idk its alot going on and I hope this isnt to much for you either but, what should I do, any thoughts and what would you suggest?…

MY ADVICE…

Continue reading “f0xmail: I Am HIV Positive and My Boyfriends Think I’m Playing The Victim! Help!” →

Jamari I need your advice….

I’m trying to move on from an Ex but it’s just not as simple as it should be. Let me first tell you about the relationship. Two years ago I moved out to Houston Texas to start a new job. I had no friends and no family so I was basically on my own there. Anyway I met my ex boyfriend who we can refer to as “Dream Wolf” at the Gym…i know typical typical. He was a trainer there and the moment we locked eyes it was fucking magic….Like I was speechless and surprisingly he was too. Dream Wolf is 6’2, mixed, and wonderfully built. Actually at the time he was a part time model and his pictures are all over tumblr….some probably are even on here. Anyway he kept trying to make jokes on the way I lift and give tips and he was pretty funny. I liked him…. we saw each other at the gym a few times before exchanging numbers.

Soon after we started dating and it got so serious that we got a place together last summer. Everything was cool for the first two months, sex was okay, I met his mom, he met mine,I would cook, sometimes he would cook, and basically I built a whole new life with him and his friends. The problem was that he was on the low and about 5 years older than me I was about 22 and he was about 27. No one knew the truth about us except a few female friends which wasn’t a problem until he started having baby fever. It might had to do with him getting closer to 30 but he really wanted a baby and he even brought up the idea of us adopting one together. He was really adamant on the idea. So much so that he started working as a manager at Home depot and basically put modeling aside. He also was willing to help put me through med school when I applied. Ever since then I started having bad feelings over the relationship. I started to think we were moving waaaaay too soon and what sense did it make for us to adopt kids when we’re not out. All of those doubts plus alot of small shit made me want to get out of the relationship. And he was a nice guy about it.

Fast forward a year and “Dream Wolf” now has his “Dream Fiance” pregnant with his “Dream Baby“. We tried to remain friends after the breakup which was cool until he met her. She’s perfect Jamari. Even I like the bitch. But it just got to the point where I couldn’t be friends with him no longer….I got tired of seeing their pictures and posts on FB and twitter. So I tried deleting Dream Wolf from my life which was kinda hard since we have so many mutual friends. And now it seems like everything has been going wrong without him in my life.

I lost my job. I had to relocate back home. I’ve been struggling ever since. I just really feel almost like GOD made this man for me….I through him away….and now he is punishing me. When I think about Jamari…nothing was wrong with Dream Wolf. He was a cornball and even though that got on my nerves I miss that and him. Now that I’m putting my life back together I just feel angry at myself and bitter. Like I have no clue on how to move on????? It’s been 4 months since we last talk and I thought I would be over it but I’m not. I’m so bitter that Im not even open to when other wolves BOLDLY try to holla at me on the street.

I want to know Was I stupid for letting him go?
How do I let him go?
And how do I stop hatting myself and feeling so bitter?
Should I try to be friends again?

Let me know your opinion…

BITTER FOXX

MY ADVICE…

Continue reading “f0xmail: My Dream Wolf Now Has His Dream Bitch and She Is Pregnant… and I Want Him Back!!! HELP!” →

ever so often i get a fox mail that makes me stop in my tracks.
i turn my music/television off.
i sit in silence.
i get into that zone.

“how can i help this person?”

i start to breathe and gather my thoughts.
i got the following mail today and i had to post this immediately:

I need advice.

I recently was at my roommate’s birthday party and got really drunk. I am only 19 and that was my second time drinking. Well a few weeks later well today i was told by a person from Jackd that he basically heard that I was raped by a few fraternity guys. I didnt believe him until he described my bedroom and alot more things to identify. I would like to know what steps can I take if any to help this situation. When i attempted to get information from him he said he would not tell me and blocked me on that site. What can I do cause I have no evidence except I was hurting the next day and I have no way of contacting him again.

I really am feeling like giving up entirely.

MY ADVICE…

Continue reading “f0xmail: HELP! I MAY HAVE BEEN RAPED?!” →

Hey Jamari!

Hope all has been well your way. I’m asking for a favor, yet again!!!!

 

….for some reason, you’re detective skills are on point. Do you know the name of the male model in the new Ciara video “Sorry?” That man is fine and chocolate lol!

 

I just haven’t seen him on the scene (or I haven’t paid attention to him). And like you, I’m a connoisseur of fine wolves (lol).

MY ANSWER…

FOX MAIL

Ok so there is this guy that goes to my school, and he is very handsome, and we are cool, we speak to each other all the time when we speak or smile, but he is talks to alot of girls, I think he might be BI or Gay..He has a son though and again he is flirtatious with girl, but i’m trying to figure out if he is gay, how do I approach him and ask him, I dont want to come off as thirsty or anything what do you think? how should I go about this should I be flirtatious to him or should I leave it alone, please help!

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: How Do I Approach My Classmate Who I Thinks Get Down?” →