FOXMAIL

Hi Jamari,

I just want to start and say that I really love your blog. I’ve subscribed to get alert from your site when you post and when there’s a comment. At school, at work (sometimes), I read it all the time, though I may not comment all the time. I’ve saved some of your tips (apps, personal hygiene, reviews etc) for further reference. You also give superb advice. As a result, this is why I’m here.

I work at a home improvement retailer and there is this guy that my department collaborate with often. We both work in different departments. He is 6 years my junior (I’m 27, he’s 21). Every time we interact, there is always some hint of interest on both our behalves. We always greet each other with a handshake but on one occasion, he did the index finger in the palm handshake.

I was surprised. The first occasion I played it off. The second time that it happened, I approached him and asked him if he knew what it meant. He said he did and that he and he did it to another guy at work who is straight (funny enough I managed to find out that he didn’t). So again I sorta brushed it off but looked at him with the side eye.

Recently, he began touching my goatee in jest while in conversation (sometimes when we’re alone and sometimes in the presence of coworkers and customers). One time he did that, I asked him if he is gay and he denied it. I told him that no self respecting “straight” guy would do the things he have done. Even after that convo, he still continues to do it and I just feign ignorance.

I’m not out there at work and I can count on one hand (of the 300+ people that work there) how many people at work know that I’m gay. So I ask, how do I go about letting this guy know that, 1) I’m also interested in him and 2) the best possible way to do so. I rather something when we are one-on-one. He says that he’s not gay but I find this hard to believe since his actions say otherwise (no straight guy I know would do the finger palm handshake with a guy not once but twice or touch the face of a guy in that way). Any advice from you and / or the foxhole, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: I Like The Way He Touches Me… At Work! Help!” →

FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari!!!

I’ve a recent reader of you’re blog for the past couple of months and I have to say that I’m completely in love with it and the work you’re doing!!! I wanted to thank for the inspiration you’ve been giving me and you’re fellow readers. I love how personal you are with us and how you let us in on both the highs and lows of your life. I’m currently in my second year of medical school and the last couple have really been difficult. I’ve been having a hard time this year because the workload is really intense,I have no money or free time, fighting depression and loneliness, and trying to date. I’ve been regretting doing school and have been considering quitting and doing something else. But I found you’re blog and I really connected with your struggles with work/career but still finding the good at the end of the day and how to look on the brighter/realer side of things. Its given me a lot more hope and reignited my fire and passion to get into my career and find my  baller hybrid! I hope I didn’t type too much and I’m no words smith so I hope I didn’t bore you lol but I just had to thank you for the constant encouragement you put out!!!!! XOXOXO

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: Thank You Letter” →

FOXMAIL

I read your blog all the time and like a lot of people I find myself drooling over these guys swimming in dough. My question to you is how would I find one.. I don’t live in a state where any reside. I’m not ugly at all but I don’t have a lot of money. I have goals, dreams that I want to accomplish and I hear about ballers splurging these conceited vain hoes in material things when all I want is more education and to pay off my debt which isn’t much. Enough rambling, my question to you is one that you probably have gotten a lot: How would I find a baller or do you know of any that are looking for someone? Any help or advice would be appreciated.  I’m going through a hard time in life, a very hard time and I’m trying.

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: How Can I Find A Baller Wolf To Sponsor Me? Help!” →

FOXMAIL

A good topic for foxmail.

So Jamari, I have this homie that just got into a little situation.

I met this dude on A4A about a year ago. We flirted heavy and when we finally met he literally made my mouth drop he was so attractive. 6′ 200lbs bald head, neat beard, swole body and swole ass too. We actually sat down ate, talked about everything and saw a movie.

Long story short, after the movies, his ass was dessert and he sucked my dick took a nap on my chest and woke up and sucked my dick so more. Now usually I can deal with no strings attached sex, but something was just so different and genuine about him. I held this dude’s hand and I’m not the sentimental type at all. I got the feeling it was more for him too, being that he wanted me to stay and he kissed and hugged me before I left that night.

No contact for two weeks! I can’t lie I was completely depressed about it.

He finally hits me out of the blue and basically acts as if that whole night never happened. I don’t know why, but I just went along with it despite the fact my feelings were really hurt to the core. Eventually I just bury the feelings and try to be friends. We work out together a lot and he’s been a pretty good friend. I have also gone out of my way to be a good friend to him as well.

So fast forward to today and he’s began this relationship with this new dude and I know I should be happy for him but I’m not.

He’s talking about how he’s finally having sex again and this dude is taking him on dates and now they’re working out together.

In the past, despite what was going on in my own personal life, I could always be happy and supportive for friends.

I really don’t like the person that’s feeling like this. I don’t know if I’m still pissed he completely ignored our first experience together, or jealous that he’s found someone, or sad that I’ve always been alone, or worried I’ll always be alone, or just a combination of everything.

I just hate thinking “I hope it won’t last.” or “He’s greek. He’s probably fucking a multitude of dudes and you’re the flavor of the moment. Don’t get too excited.”

 I just feel like I always fall into this role of being the odd man out. The “friend”. I usually resort to unhealthy and risky behaviors to deal.

I know I sound salty as fuck, but it’s making me re-evaluate some shit man.

All these nigga’s phone numbers I have in my phone, freaks, homies, friends and no one to check on me since I’ve been secluding to my room with this flu all week. NO ONE!

Then to add insult to injury this dude is introducing his new bitch to his other friends. I been cool with this dude for over a year and I’ve met no one but you known this dude one month and you’re introducing him to your friends at happy hour.

Am I just fighting my true nature by forcing these sorry excuses for friendships? 

Am I completely fucked up bruh?

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: He Met His New Bitch After I Gave Him Good Wood! Help!” →

FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari…

I’m having a lil dilemma reading this past prison wolf Im employed with. When I first met him 2 months ago I noticed the natural attraction I have for him. He’s dark skin, about 45, 6’3, permanent gold fronts and hella cool. He’s a daddy type, a SEXXXY daddy type. So everyday we come in to work he sees me, makes his way over and starts up a convo. Every convo ends the same; on sex. He talks about how he be fucking women, how big. His dick is, his stroke game, alotta mature real black man shit. It’s so sexy to me, but anywho I’m a very attractive male with a nice physique. I’m masc and I have a big round butt that alotta guys require. No one here knows I’m gay except him. He can tell for some reason but I can’t tell about him. He’s always talking about sex as people he’s gonna fuck, I just need some help. If he is down, how do I proceed. how would I know if he isn’t? I just don’t wanna be rejected I mean I have before but not by someone I’m naturally attracted too and yes Jamari he can tell from my smiles and the way I respond back, I even brought him lunch yesterday and I don’t know what to say. I think he wants to fuck me and I would love to let him on the regular.

Plz give me some of that infinite knowledge and wisdom.

MY ANSWER
(viewer discretion strongly advised)…
Continue reading “f0xmail: I Think This Jailbird Wolf Wants My Bunz. Help!” →

FOXMAIL

Jamari!

Let me start off by saying that 99.9% of the time, your posts are DEAD ON dude & I love every single one of them. You keep me coming back, each and every time! Keep it up homie. Now, on to a dude’s dilemma:

There’s this guy I’ve basically gone in & out of “crushlovelustwhateveryouwannacallit” with for the past 4 years. We were co-workers for three of those four years and nothing happened between us except for MY EX-BEST (girl) FRIEND ALMOST SLEEPING WITH HIM. (Yes, it affected our relationship that deep.)

From the aforementioned statement, you can tell he’s basically “straight”. But there was ALWAYS something there between us. Tension? Curiosity? IDK. He took me to the movies a few times (mind you, he only wanted him & I to go… mmmmhmmmm…), but nothing more than that. After him leaving my workplace last year, he got a new job in the same town. I see him all the time & I’m not sure what I feel. He gives me these high-school ass feelings, but I swore I was over this nigga. LIKE, WHAAA?! I tend to give him a sliiiiiight cold shoulder here & there just to prove to myself that I’m over him. (Dunno if it’s doing harm or good.) Everyone that I talk to about him tells me not to feel the way I feel because they think he’s “douche-ish” and that I can do WAY better, but I’m torn as a motherfucker! I still find him intriguing…

You like who you like sometimes, fuck what others think, right? (J, tell me I’m right. LMAO.) He still wants us to smoke a blunt together & shit, but I’m hesitant! I curve him on purpose! LOL. He can be fleeing sometimes (i.e. seem uninterested, returns texts hours later, etc.) and I know that has something to do with why I be on that #SWIRVlife. LOL. I’m part of your gold digger era, so I’m completely invested in my self-worth, and that goes hand in hand with my dating life. I know what I offer. I’m not easy. I value me, and I feel like my polarity to the issue is due to me considering my value before anything. I wanna stay true to me but don’t wanna be judgmental to this just because of the opinions of others, you know?

Tell me J, do I go on and try to make something work with the dude?

Or do I continue to wait for someone “worth my time”?

(P.S., Feel free to share this with the Foxhole if you’d like. I have no secrets. LMAO. Hey, maybe someone else feels the way I’m feeling…)

MY ANSWER…
Continue reading “f0xmail: The Issue of My “crushlovelustwhateveryouwannacallit”!” →