what i really want for christmas this year

i’m trying not to fall victim to sadness this christmas.
i’ve been avoiding all things that would make me feel depressed.
i don’t feel low energy tbh.
i’ve been on chill mode.
there are things that def can be done if you don’t want to feel sad.

Movies
Binge a whole series
Video games
Books
Cleaning your crib
Going into the city and taking a walk since everyone is elsewhere

it’s just a day that will end in more than 24 hours.
for 2023,
i asked myself what i would really want for christmas this year…

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how are you weathering your storm?

How do we know when it’s God vs when it’s satan?
How do we know when it’s a test of faith or an attack?
How do we know we are blessed or we are approaching our fate?
How do we know if things will work out or are we doomed to fail?

i saw a story about a family who was in a car accident on wednesday.
the pregnant wife was killed; husband lost his leg.
they were driving to see family for christmas.
i can’t even begin to process my thoughts on ( x that tragedy ).
here goes this guy,
blessed with a wife and the joy of becoming a dad,
only to lose it all in the blink of an eye.

Is that a test from God or the devil saw an opening to attack?

even though that story is extreme,
it resonates with many of us…

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one side with a grain of salt please

this morning,
i was texting with my lil big sis and she fonted something that blew me away.

it was one of those oprah “a-ha” moments you get on random.
funny enough,
it was also about oprah too.
we were talking about the color purple,
taraji,
and all the bts drama that’s being alleged.

“I’m not ready to take her off my don’t like don’t want to meet list I mean she’s Oprah.
I’ll meet her but be clear I’m getting one side of Oprah and to take it with a grain of salt.”

that was my “a-ha” moment

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i totally get megan thee stallion issue now

i listened to the megan thee stallion IG live today and i get it.
totally get it.
i was in a similar situation as well right after my mama died.
i learned very quickly how fast “friends” can turn on you…

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“ya’ll killin’ me with this sh!t,” my toilet said.

 2023 has been literal shit,
and the word “shit” is an upcoming foreshadow in this entry,
i haven’t been handling challenges as well as i should.
yesterday,
shit hit the fan.
so i woke up,
and well this is tmi,
but i needed to drop the brown kids off at the pool.
oh,
don’t judge!

we all take dumps here and it’s healthy that you do it regularly.
my goal was to do that and after:

Take a shower
Make breakfast
Start my day of getting on the grind

anyway,
after i log an entry,
my toilet decides to overflow under me and…

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my truth: it’s not my fault that you like to suck d!ck

I should have titled this entry,
Addressing the drama…“,
like I was a YT influencer lol.

around this time last week,
i was given a story that ended up going left.
like,
real left.
so far left,
the whole car is in a swamp.

it involved an attentionosto that i wasn’t too familiar with.
truth: i had to google him last week to remind myself of who he was.
i’ve never fonted about him nor has The Foxholer ever sent him in as a feature.

I knew nothing about his life until this time last week.

so when i posted a video,
which looked like an onlyfans clip if i’m being honest,
and i can’t even say alleged since hit animals definitely barked the loudest,

all hell broke loose and i lost my patreon because of it.
it has left me feeling all the things but i woke up out my sleep with the urge for closure.
so…

this is my truth

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