don’t i know it?
life seems to always provide me with the lessons i need to get by…
i don’t know if you know,
but finding yourself can be one of your greatest accomplishments.
being able to look in the mirror and say:
THIS IS WHO I AM
…feels oh so good.
with great rewards of emotional and spiritual growth,
also comes the realization that you have a ton dead weight around you.
some of which have already gotten rid of you out their life.
this is where i’m at right now in my life.
although i’m happy i’m not apart of the mixxy ny scene,
having to be everywhere just so i could be seen,
i have actually lost alot of those same people within the last year or two.
i can honestly say that i am on the bottom right now socially.
you learn a lot when you stop reaching out to people.
not being able to attend all the fly events.
the popular kids who think instagram likes equal self esteem.
you slowly realize that world is all about users and abusers.
ones who determine your worth by how much money/connects you have.
no one truly is your friend unless you grew up with.
so i spoke about a rapper hybrid i wrote about a while back….
he was trying to find his way into the industry.
he befriended me because i was working with a couple people he knew.
since i am good at the image and pr of things,
he was my sudden best-est friend.
not to mention he was real cute…
always hitting me up to talk about bullshit.
i even invited him over my crib a few times.
well i texted him the other day and got a heavy:
him: WHO IS THIS?
me: its jamari foo!
whatchu mean who this is?
no response back.
i didn’t bother to reply back to him either.
i knew it was done.
being the fox i am,
i lurked on his social media page to see what was up.
his recent update after that text said:
NEW TEAM; NEW SQUAD #NONEWFRIENDS
WORKING WITH PEOPLE WHO GOT CONNECTIONS,
RATHER THAN WHAT THEY KNOW
i knew it was directed towards me.
i’m not stupid.
best believe his number flew out my phone.
it was all good when i was helping him rebrand his image.
pro bono since he had no money.
he has a very thottish past/present within the industry.
burning bridges left and right.
if you gonna be pullin ya dick/ass/mouth out,
at least use it on the right people.
he ended up burning some important bridges with the antics.
eh it’s whatever.
i stopped doing “free work” anyway.
my advice is actually really good and it needs to be used on the legit.
i deserve to be paid for all i do.
i do it very well.
i’m not mad at all tho.
a little disappointed.
in myself maybe?
maybe it was my fault for believing he was a friend?
all that talk about “taking over the industry” was just ear hustling.
what he didn’t know is even though i secretly run the foxhole,
i do know what i’m talking about.
he doesn’t know alot of people reads this site.
ones that could be potential fans of his.
it wasn’t like he was terrible with his passion.
so see thats the power of finding yourself.
things like this don’t shouldn’t bother you anymore.
you learn your strengths,
learn to look forward,
and realize when its over.
being on the bottom may not be so bad after all.
i’m slowly working my way up to the top.
and when i get there…