Being On The Bottom Is Hard

1d3e428af92236c68fa7cb9ffc45a699don’t i know it?
life seems to always provide me with the lessons i need to get by…
i don’t know if you know,
but finding yourself can be one of your greatest accomplishments.
being able to look in the mirror and say:


…feels oh so good.
with great rewards of emotional and spiritual growth,
also comes the realization that you have a ton dead weight around you.
some of which have already gotten rid of you out their life.
this is where i’m at right now in my life.
although i’m happy i’m not apart of the mixxy ny scene,
having to be everywhere just so i could be seen,
i have actually lost alot of those same people within the last year or two.
i can honestly say that i am on the bottom right now socially.
you learn a lot when you stop reaching out to people.
not being able to attend all the fly events.
the popular kids who think instagram likes equal self esteem.
you slowly realize that world is all about users and abusers.
ones who determine your worth by how much money/connects you have.
no one truly is your friend unless you grew up with.
even still…

so i spoke about a rapper hybrid i wrote about a while back….

he was trying to find his way into the industry.
he befriended me because i was working with a couple people he knew.
since i am good at the image and pr of things,
he was my sudden best-est friend.
not to mention he was real cute
qs40tlalways hitting me up to talk about bullshit.
i even invited him over my crib a few times.
well i texted him the other day and got a heavy:


me: its jamari foo!
whatchu mean who this is?

no response back.
i didn’t bother to reply back to him either.
i knew it was done.
being the fox i am,
i lurked on his social media page to see what was up.
his recent update after that text said:



tumblr_n1gyg3jyHU1qej93ko2_500i knew it was directed towards me.
i’m not stupid.
best believe his number flew out my phone.
it was all good when i was helping him rebrand his image.
pro bono since he had no money.
he has a very thottish past/present within the industry.
burning bridges left and right.
if you gonna be pullin ya dick/ass/mouth out,
at least use it on the right people.
he ended up burning some important bridges with the antics.
eh it’s whatever.
i stopped doing “free work” anyway.
my advice is actually really good and it needs to be used on the legit.
i deserve to be paid for all i do.
i do it very well.

tumblr_mivvyuyjer1rmfojlo1_500i’m not mad at all tho.
a little disappointed.
in myself maybe?
maybe it was my fault for believing he was a friend?
all that talk about “taking over the industry” was just ear hustling.
what he didn’t know is even though i secretly run the foxhole,
i do know what i’m talking about.
he doesn’t know alot of people reads this site.
ones that could be potential fans of his.
it wasn’t like he was terrible with his passion.
just lost.
so see thats the power of finding yourself.
things like this don’t shouldn’t bother you anymore.
you learn your strengths,
learn to look forward,
and realize when its over.
being on the bottom may not be so bad after all.
i’m slowly working my way up to the top.
and when i get there…







Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

8 thoughts on “Being On The Bottom Is Hard”

  1. People be all in your face when they need something from you, as soon as they think there is something better or get all that they need from you, they drop you. Smh. N that’s why I keep everyone at a distance. You live and you learn, Jamari.

    1. ^well dont keep everyone at a distance!
      i wont stop being myself because someone was an asshole.
      plus when i look back,
      i could have seen the red flags.
      you are right tho…
      live and you learn.

  2. J.. I don’t know you and you don’t know me but i want you to know that i believe in you. You have so many blessings in your future. You have a good heart and more importantly you always have good intentions. I’m rooting for you and I’m a big fan of your site. Also, can’t wait for you to write that erotic novel for us 🙂 full of the wolves and foxes along with all the dramatics lol

    1. ^thank you so much blue fox!
      your words were so kind and im extremely humbled by what you had to say.
      working on the book now.
      i think you guys will like what i’m cooking up.
      stay tuned!

  3. Is this the same rapper Hybrid who slept with 500 people? I wouldn’t trust a person who slept with that many people anyway. You should have known he wasn’t shit. I remember you telling us how he was upset because you judged him because of his sexual relations. Since he felt you judged him, he knew he would never have you. This made his decision to easier to cut you off. In 2014, everything revolves money, sex, and drugs. Don’t let this bother you, he was never really your friend, he used you because you were convenient to him at the time. I had a friend like that. He was a fellow Wolf. I introduced him to the lifestyle and I taught him a lot over two years. He lied to me, he was a bad friend, and he was jealous of me. We were like night and day. He created a competition between us and it hurt our friendship. He was never happy for me, gave me backhanded compliments, and accused me of being cocky, which I am not. I will never speak to him again, ever as long as I live. I’m not angry, but the damage he caused was beyond repair. All my friends are straight at the moment. I cleaned house.

  4. Reminds me of this entertainer I knew in the music industry. From the outside, has it all together but constantly complained about his “team.” Immaculately, interior designed condo, buff body, etc. Turned out the condo was rented and facing eviction. His “team” were a few very talented people working for free, believing they’d be put on once he received his advance.

    I visited him one afternoon to pitch a PR campaign. Half way through, he starts rubbing his dick. I’m in a relationship and immediately called him out. Next thing I know, he pulled it out and asked me to touch it. Boom. I was out. He text and called me begging not to tell anybody. Lesson learned. Never visit a client in their home.

    I don’t miss the entertainment industry at all. It is all smoke and mirrors. I am convinced you have to do sexual favors to get ahead. I have witnessed it.

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